human x j.t. x h.s.

seven

Me on my (usually weekday and separated) day off

Expectation: Write a new chapter, read a book, read my pharmacology book, bake

Reality: *Laze in bed with Netflix or Wattpad and regretting it when the sun sets*

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Trigger Warning: This story contains implications of eating disorders, depression, rape and suicidal thoughts. If you are currently going through a hard time, please reach out to someone whom you trust.

My inbox is always open too, you can talk to me.

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"I-I can't breath," Jade whispered, her face still buried in her knees and she continues to heave short, unsteady breaths. Her hands ruffled her hair messily as tears continue to spill out.

"Please help me," her voice cracked and Perrie's heart broke at the image of the actress breaking down in front of her. "Please don't touch me, I'm sorry," Jade mumbled so softly that if Perrie isn't kneeling in front of her, she is sure she wouldn't hear it. Perrie froze at Jade's words. It reminded Perrie of her sister, Caitlyn, who had been harassed a few years ago.

Assumptions ran through her mind and Perrie began to understand what the actress in front of her had gone through. She turned towards her best friend who was still staring at Jade, unsure what he's supposed to do.

"Harry, can you get Leigh-Anne? I don't think Jade is comfortable enough to be with us."

At that, Harry immediately scurried away, in search of the actress' manager. 

"Jade?" Perrie softly called out. Jade looked up at the singer with puffy eyes, then quickly looked down when she's met with a pair of blue eyes, instead of the dark brown eyes she's comfortable with.

"Please bring Leigh to me," she pleaded. "I need Leigh."

"It's fine, Harry is bringing Leigh-Anne here." Perrie reached out to place her hand on Jade's shoulder, but retract her hand when the actress in front of her flinch.

Jade's breathing got louder and uncontrollable and she started hyperventilating again and Perrie knows she's having another anxiety attack. She's glad that the alley they're in doesn't have anyone though she's secretly cursing Harry for being slow.

"Jade, Jade, it's me, Perrie. I need you to take deep breaths alright?" Perrie tried soothing the lady but she merely nodded.

"Please help me," she begged and Perrie's heart broke at the vulnerability in her voice.

"Okay, I need you to look up." Jade stared right into her eyes when she said that. "Can you tell me five things that you see?"

Jade breathe deeply in through her nose and out through her mouth. "Your b-blue eyes, your pink d-d-dress," she took in a deep breath and looked down, "my black dress," Jade looked around, "that vending machine and that door."

"That's good," Perrie encouraged. "Now, tell me four things you can touch."

"My s-s-satin dress," she hiccupped, "the carpeted floor," she pointed down to the floor. Jade cleared her throat as her voice cracked. "Your hands," Jade reached out and Perrie held Jade's hand protectively, "and I-I guess the wall?"

"You're doing very well, Jadey. Can I touch your hair?" Jade nodded as Perrie soothingly caressed her hair. "Can you tell me three things you can hear?"

"Your voice, my voice and the stage," Jade breathed out, feeling the stone in her chest slowly fading away. She starts to feel light as her airway starts to open up.