Crashlanding

Chapter Five.

I sat watching Perri wash up, his back turned away from me but I could see his reflection in the window that was squeaky clean. His face was flat, the smile indents that showed he smiled more often were still visible on his face, but his smile wasn't there.

I look at my phone, somehow it had survived the crash, I just wish part of me had as well. I scrolled through the social media, deciding to look at what my life had been like, the parts I couldn't remember, and sure enough I see photos of me and Perri, photos of me and Sam, photos of me and the boys. Moments in time that I had forgotten and I hated myself that I had, even though everyone was telling me it was okay and they supported me I couldn't help but blame myself, I was driving my car, I was the one at fault, it's my memories, I'm the one who forgot them.

I look at the latest photo that Perri had posted, closing my eyes and trying my hardest to remember it, wanting I remember it more than anything, to remember the way we was, remember what the photos were telling me, but nothing made sense. Why was I living with Perri it according to social media we had only been together a few weeks at the most.

I study the next photo that comes across my timeline, a photo of me and Sam in the sun, he was shirtless, but I notice the tattoos that were per me and on his arm and chest, my eyes overlooking each one. "Each tattoo tells a story" Sams voice rings around my head. "Each tattoo tells a story" I mumble, as I close my eyes, trying hard again to remember that day. "Sam told you that" Perri whispers, a small smile on his face as he stands at the doorway. I look at him. "I looked at the photo and I heard it in my" I whisper. "Don't try too hard you'll wear yourself out, the doctors said it would take time" he whispers, sitting down on the sofa next to me. I nod my head. "But what if we don't have the time to remember, what if it's always going to be this way and I have to start new" I whisper, the tears wanting to fall from my eyes. "Then we start new, there's always time for us to make new memories, look" he smiles, pulling his phone out of his pocket and turning it to face us, the camera open showing us both on his phone screen. We both smile at the camera and Perri takes a photo of us both. "Making new memories is something as simple as that" he smiles, as he uploads it to Instagram. "If only it was that easy to remember" I whisper, as my eyes fall back on the photo of me and Sam. "I remember him but I don't" I whisper, as Perri raises his eyebrows. "I feel like I remember this day, I remember him telling me about his tattoos, I told him I have one of my ribs" I whisper, as Perri nods his head. "It will come back, we've just got to patient" he whispers, but the smile on his face showed I was forced, he didn't want this anymore than I did.

"Tell me about us" I whisper, as the smile goes from being forced to a genuine smile. "You we're always stubborn" he chuckles, the smile not leaving his face. "We both decided that we would have a fake relationship, I'll be honest with you. I wanted to make my ex girlfriend jealous, and you agreed to the deal" he whispers, stopping briefly to look at my face, I wasn't sure what emotion I had on it, but he continued either way. "You fell for me before I fell for you, before I admitted I had fell for you, for real anyway" he whispers, the smile growing bigger on his face. "And I regret that I didn't tell you sooner, the last thing I said to you was I love you" he whispers, the smile falling from his face. "And I still do" he whispers, the tears brimming his eyes, like he was telling a sad story, which he was, he was telling the sad story of us. "The fans welcomed you with open arms, which doesn't happen often, they really loved you, they loved us" he smiles, wiping a slow falling tear. "But things were never easy for us, that morning you left, you went back home.." he stops, his eyebrows knitting together. "But you survived him, you was always stronger than him, but if I knew for a moment that you leaving this house would of ended the way it did, I'd of made sure I never left you out of my sight, that I kept the promise of always keeping you safe" he whispers as he plays with his hands in his lap. I nod my head, taking in all for information he was telling me, but none of it sparking a memory, all of it seeming like a story, not the story of us.

I take Perri's hands in mine, an squeeze them slightly as he looks up from his lap, his brown eyes staring into mine. "I promise to try my hardest to remember everything, as long as you promise to smile more, it might bring back a memory" I whisper, as he smiles at me, a big toothy grin, as I close my eyes, and see Perri, Sam and Jordan stood in front of me, all dressed in black, as a male kisses another female in the background.