Brooklyn 99 Oneshots

#5 - Yippie Kayak - JP

Yippie Kayak

(Y/N) = Your name

(N/n) = Nickname

(L/N) = Last name

(H/L) = Hair Length

(H/C) = Hair colour

italics = Thoughts

Btw your sister is Rosa but you're basically the complete opposite but you're still each others best friend even if Rosa is mean sometimes

Your POV

As I'm talking to Jake after the whole fake bomb incident Charles comes in wearing a Santa hat with a brown bag in his hands

"Ho ho ho lovebirds, Special delivery from Santa's elf for Jake. Merry Christmas" Charles says happily as he hands the bag to Jake as I sit and watch Jake pull put a bottle.

"Heart attack soda" Charles says

"What what soda" I say confused

"Holy crap! I love this stuff. You know technically it's just carbonated fudge" Jake explains

"That's disgusting" I say

"I thought they banned it" Jake says

"Not in Syria." Charles explains "They use it to induce labour in goats"

"Spoke too soon" I say disgusted by what Charles just said

"Your real present arrives tomorrow"

Jeez I really need to step up my present game

"There's more? Charles this is too much." Jake says feeling bad that Charles got him so much

"Nonsense! It was just a lot of time and a lot of money" Charles says walking over too his desk

"Charles that...you know what nevermind" I say giving up

As Charles sits at his desk Jake calls Gina over.

"Guys, I screwed up. I forgot to get Charles anything" Jake says

"Jake!" I say smacking him on his arm, not too hard though

"Oh well, I always knew he'd die of sadness."

"Gina!" I say

"I'm such a selfish Jerk! I was just so focused on (Y/N)'s gift that I completely spaced" Jake says

"Aww baby, what did you get me?" I question resting my chin on my hand

"Not the time, all right think. What does Charles love?"

"Gross food" I say trying to help

"Tan pants" Jake says

"Masterchef junior" I say still listing things Charles likes

"Ooh, I could call up one of those kids and offer them a free trip to New York." Jake suggests

"I wouldn't do that" Gina says worryingly

"Right cause I'm a stranger and I shouldn't be luring them out of state" Jake says realising what he said while I am laughing at the fact he even suggested that

"Jake, just go to Goodwin's they're open late and they have everything" Gina says fed up of Jake already

"Right. Smart. Can you two come with me?" Jake says as Gina shakes her head and sighs and I agree "please, I need help picking something out" he says more directed at Gina since I already say i would go