In need of help | Kiribaku

5.

Bakugou pov

I layed back down on the bed, sighed and looked at the ceiling. I then lay my arm over my eyes, getting bored of the plain look of the ceiling. Thinking about shit, I come to the possibility, that maybe, if I am lucky, Kirishima isnt with me out of pure pity.
Maybe he really likes me because, if I remember correctly, we got together before I actually started to show any signs of being weak. Which I am. But I managed to keep the image of being strong for what? A half year? Anyways. Just thinking about it gives me a bit of hope and a smile creeps up on my face..

Of course Kirishima saw my smile. But I am not letting him have this one, so instead, I grab him by his upper arm and pull him down with my free hand, next to me.
Why is he laughing?
"What are you up to-?"
"Nothing. I'm tired. Now sleep."
I command and lay my arm around him.
"Fine."

Shortly after that and a bit of Kirishima rambling we actually fall asleep.

It was then, around three am when I woke up. I got a notification from the local news on my phone.
Villans. Just a few cities away.
From what the article said, there were already seven people found dead.
I look to the other, sigh and stand up. First I went to the kitchen and took out a bottle of water, then to the bathroom.

Again, this terrible feeling of fear popped up as I saw the clothes hanging there.
No.. NO. NO!- This cant be! I have to be more careful next time! I thought while gripping on tight to my hair, almost like pulling at it. What am I even doing here?
After a good five minutes of realization I get myself to turn back around and walked off back to our bedroom, towards the sloping wall and the window.

I lay the bottle and my phone on the shelf underneath it before opening the window as quietly as I possible can, in order to not wake Kiri up. Afterwards, I climb out of the bedroom on top of the roof and grab my stuff, leaned the window a bit and sit down on the roof pans.

Back to the article. In the mean time it got updated.
Now there were 15 people found dead, a tall building was set on fire and two hero's went missing.

And here I am sitting on this damn roof having my ass saved while others had to give their lifes and for what? For some disgusting villans.

I first had to get my licence and then they will die as soon as I see them. But what if I won't get it? There was always a chance for the damn nerd to be better even if it was only a bit of a difference. Then I will never get to kill those bastards and have to keep on watching others giving their lives..

What purpose would my life have then if I can't do anything?
Even my boyfriend will probably break up with me.
Other than that, the other students from school will think I am weak once again, a looser, a shame for my squad and a...
No one? Yeah probably that aswell.
My quirk would be useless because for what else would you use explosions? Nothing. Its made to kill.
I think to myself while watching the sunrise.

The sky was toned orange combined with a bit of light purple. It was a beautiful morning if I would forget the villans, which I didnt. Obviously. I just couldn't.

I put my phone aside to drink some water.
The cold liquid runs down my troat, it felt so good and eventually got me a bit on other thoughts.

Right now I didnt felt the urge to fulfill the advise I gave fucking Deku in high school.
Maybe it was because I considered the fact that if I did it now I wouldnt be able to kill the bastards out there, stealing lifes.

"Here you are!"
Kiri says with a bright smile all over his sleepy face.
"Yes, you're already up?" I ask with my rough morning voice, just like him.
"Yeah.. well..."

"What?" Is this payback for yesterday?
"Ouu nothing.."
"Hey! Dont copy me!"
"Now you know how I feel!"

So it is payback.
"Urgh.. fine.."

"Can I come up?"
"Why do you ask, just come already!"
"Aaand he is back.."
He mumbled to himself just like that fucking nerd but if he does it.. its fine. I guess.

"What do you mean shitty hair?!"
"Eyyy I thought we agreed on stopping the name-calling!"
"Yeah, whatever.."
Kirishima pouted but sat down right beside me and layed the blanket over the two of us.

"It's beautiful, isnt it?"
"I guess."
Yeah I like it, but that doesnt mean I have to admit it.

Now we both sat there with our legs pulled close to our chests.

Mr. red head beside me yawned, it was still a bit to early for him. I know he is tired and then, out of nowhere, his head slowly fell onto my shoulder.

Not noticing that I am a bit taken back by his actions. I had a soft smile on my face, which I am happy for that he is asleep, so he cant see it and went through his red hair with my hand. It wasnt spiked up like usually and his roots showed.
He always covers them up with a bandana untill he dies them again.. Does he not like his normal hair colour that much? I thought.
Again caught up in that thought I spilled something.
Fuck

"..It's so soft.." I whisper.
"Thanks babe."
Oh no, that sicko bastard noticed.

"Y-you didnt heared anything idiot!"
I replied in slightly embarrassment.
"Yeah, I did!"
"Fuck off!"
"Ohhh you want me to leave? How rude.."
He teases me including puppy eyes. Worst part: it works.

"..." I remain silent.
"So.. Is that a yes or a no"
"..No. You happy now?"
"Absolutely! Now.. can you keep on doing that?"
"What?!"
"You know what I mean.. The patting."
"Of course not!"

"Ohhh c'mon, pay back for yesterday?"
Shit, now I felt bad if I wouldnt do it. But he already had his fucking payback.
"Tch. Dont get used to it!"
"Yeah, yeah"
With that I indeed did it and Eijiro was happy.

So we sat there for another two hours untill the sky lost its warm colours.

"Wanna go back in?"
I asked, my voice becoming normal again.
"You listening?"
"Hmm.. What?"
"I asked if want to go back in?"
"Oh yeah sure."

I stood up and just before I entered the dorm room, I noticed that Kirishima was still sitting there.
"What is your problem?"
"Yeah yeah I'm coming."
"You better do so."
With that being said I stood up and jumped back in the room.

________
My non-binaryness and anxiety is kicking in and lately I am reading a shit ton of mental disorder and transgender kiribaku ffs.
(Not the healthiest thing to do, I know.)

ANYWAYS
Do you want me to make my own version of it?🤝💞

Also, listen to "Kill our way to heaven" by Michi

And "The hearse" by Mad Maeson.
This song kills me everytime I hear it ^^'
😩💅💕🌃