It's an odd melancholy, the way my eyes search for you in a crowded room. It's so easy to flash back to our recent encounters, memories of you fill my tummy with warmth. However, things aren't the way I wanted them to be. Trying to find happiness has been an impossible venture, so I accept that life is beautiful, although I have yet to experience such beauty. My patience has been running low and I'm beginning to second guess myself.. My memories are happening all too fast. Soaking up my surroundings takes so much effort with the relentless nostalgia I feel for things as they happen. The thought that everything I know will soon be reduced to a distorted image in my mind. The way I remember things haunts me. The events in my life have been very powerful, impacting me in such a way that I can't seem to let go of the place it all happened. I've become too familiar, too attached to my school. This is my last Christmas here, with these people. Tomorrow is my last day here in 2014, the day before winer break. I have mixed feelings.. We come back to our year. 2015, the year we've been repping all along has finally arrived. 2015 used to seem so distant, and now that it's coming scares me.
I always wanted to get out of here, and now you're gunna have to push me out the door, but it has to happen. I don't know what I'm going to do this time next year, I don't know anything. My Christmas party for my major is tomorrow, were ordering dominos and I'm getting my favorite, pineapple pizza. Which is absolutely delicious. I'm staying after school for dance club today, my bestfriend runs it and I'm meeting her boyfriend for the first time. He moved away and I've heard about him almost every day for months now, but that's what Bestfriends do, listen to each other's stories about our guys. My love, however, is extremely complicated. What gets me through is that I won't have 17 year old love forever, it hurts. It's all too real, and it hurts.
