The money, drugs, and temptation - my life on the bad side

Life changed

The fly that has distracted me for most of my history class just made his final, fatal mistake, landing on the floor too close to Bruce Wilson's foot. With a mighty Squish, the poor little insect is a simple pile of black fly guts on linoleum, forever to be there until Janitor Jim comes and scraps him off with his mop. He won't even get a funeral. Poor thing.

"Miss Larel, if you would be so kind as to answer my question?" I'm snapped out of my light mourning by the calm voice of my History teacher, Mr. Francis. i look at him with wide eyes, feeling rather like a deer caught in headlights, and wait for his "stern warning" which never amounts to anything.

"Laura, we have been over this, have we --" Brrrriiiinnnnggg! Saved by the bell, never though it to be possible.

Quickly shoving all my possessions into my backpack, I stammer out an excuse to the teacher.

"Yes, Mr. Francis, i promise it won't happen again, I swear it, in fact, but i really have to go so if you would just so kindly let me through thank-you!" I call back to him, safely in the rush of high school kids eager to get their weekend started.

"Yo, Laura!" The voice comes from behind me, a cheerful, laughing voice joined quickly by a big arm around my shoulders. 

"Hi, Michel." I say, smiling lightly. Michel, only the best boyfriend in the world, has been mine for this whole year of school. The only person I feel truly me around, he's close like a brother, but... you know, not.

"I missed you." he says close to my ear. I turn to look into his bright blue eyes, and he returns the look with a kiss.

"One foot, please." our Social's teacher says, smiling as she walks past. Reluctantly, we separate to the required space. Michel takes my hand awkwardly until we're out of the school, when i immediately move as close as i can get to him. 

We talk a little bit as he walks me home, of our day's and the latest things happen at St. Peter's Private school for Gifted Children, breaks-ups and heart aches. The sky is clear and the air light, though, so we spend most of the time in a silence which suits us both fine.

"Thanks, Michel," I say reluctantly, when the time comes for him to go home to care for his little sister. He smiles at me and pulls my shin up to look at him. I lift my hand and smooth down a piece of ash blond hair which has flown astray in the walking wind. 

"Tomorrow?" he asks hopefully.

I nod in affirmation. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." I promise, sealing the deal with a long draw out kiss for him.

Tomorrow is our first real date. Which is when we will technically be going public, though the whole school already knows about us. He's taking me to lunch at a small, romantic restaurant, and I have been waiting for it since he asked me last week.

"Tomorrow then." he says. After a moment if wistfully standing with me, he turns and walks down the stone path leading to my house.

I love my house. perhaps the best thing in my life is the small two story stone home that is perfect for my mother, baby sister and myself. There is a big picture window in the front room, which offers a perfect  view of the flower garden I'm always tending to. This home, my sanctuary, is the only thing i have been able to fight away from my mother selling off for drink money.

With a sigh, and after my boyfriend is far out of sight, i push open the door.

No childhood art adorns our walls like other homes, only the pale pink paint and cracks i haven't fixed yet. Straight ahead is the kitchen, where i see Kiki still sitting in her highchair from lunch. Fast asleep with her head in her tray, her hair is sticking up every which-way, she is still the most precious baby ever born. I go over to her and kiss her lightly on the head before i run upstairs to my bedroom.

The staircase is narrow and steep, making you very cautious while climbing it. If we had the money, i would get it fixed so it be safer for Kiena, but whiskey comes first in this house. Always the drink.

The carpet up here is soft, leaving imprints of my footsteps as i go to the last room on the walls. Cracking open the door as to not let Leopard the cat out, i sneak quietly in.

In my quiet little hole in the house, i duck under the low ceiling to avoid hitting my head, and flop down on my bed for a second to allow the troubles of today run off me. staring up, i see the picture of my sister playing in a sandbox that won me the money for her highchair. i keep it on the ceiling now to remind me money is never far away. 

When I'm slightly less tense, i worm off my shoes and socks with my toes, then slide out of my uniform skirt. Sitting slowly, i look out the window to where there is a driveway with no car, grass too long, and a long crack running through my window pane. 

"Stupid window." I mutter, sliding off the bed to the ground, and hold the carpet between my toes as i rummage through my drawers to find my favourite jeans. When they're on, I trade my crest-bearing teeshirt for a bright yellow tank-top, top off Leopard's dish --the stupid cat must be hiding under my dresser, as usual-- and start back downstairs, gratefully taking the scrunchy out of my hair and letting the chocolate coloured mass fall around my face in waves. 

"Mom!" I call out. "I'm home!" I have never liked alerting her of my presence before I'm ready to really work for her. Today though, there is no call back for me to help her out of bed and get her her tea, me lazy Bitch!, so i just go down, and wake up Kiki.

"La-la!" she exclaims when she has woken up a bit. Her tiny fists in her eyes to rub the sleep out of them, she reaches her arms up for me to lift her up. Holding her on my hip I smile, letting her take a fistful of my hair to shove in her mouth. 

"Hello, my Kiki." I say, touching her nose. She giggles, resting her head on my shoulder. "Let's go find Mommy, ok?"

"On a Mommy hunt?" he asks, looking excitedly at me.

I nod solemnly at the little girl. "That's right." i put her down on her feet, and after some tired wobbling, she takes my hand and starts pulling me into the living room.  

"I found her!" she exclaims in glee. "I finded Mommy first!"

I scoop her back up, swinging her around and making her scream in fun before setting her back onto her perch on my side.

"Good girl," i coo fondly. i can now see my mother's feet, hanging over the end of the couch, very pale against the deep green of the antique sofa. Mother is selling it soon, I know she is, but I am trying to keep that from coming about.

"Mommy has been asleep aaallll day." Kiki continues from something I didn't hear the beginning of.

I look at her in confusion. "What do you mean, Kiki? Mommy put you into the chair for soup time, didn't she?"

Kiki shakes her head at me, jutting her bottom lip out at me in a tiny pout. "I have been there aaalll day. She gaved me fishy crackers after you lefted me, and then her tell-e-phone rang, and then she went BOOM! on the couch. I yelled for her, but she never woked up."

I look again at my mother's feet. Now thinking about it, i see they're far paler than they usually are, the same shade as winter snow glistening in the sunlight. 

"Kiki." i say, distracted as my stomach begins to turn loops in itself, and my lunch threatens to come out my throat. "Go play in your room, ok? I need to wake up Mommy." i let my sister down, and she happily goes out of the room, to the small cupboard sized space off the kitchen which houses her official room. Usually she end up in my bed with me, though. 

"Mom." i say quietly, slowly walking around to the other side of the couch. "Mom? Mom wake -- oh shit. Oh god, oh shit." my hands fly to my mouth as I take in icey skin, the expression on her face, the shallowest rising of her chest which shows there is still some sort of life in her. Her eyes are open and staring blindly at me, an empty bottle in her hand and two more on the ground beside her head. 

I break down, crawl over to her, and hold her hand as i dial 911.