A Girl Named Cirice

Chapter 3

I slipped in through the chapel doors, it was dark. Cool, Calm, and Quiet. I stood at the door relishing in the warmth. There was the familiar scent of incense. It reminded me of before I was secluded and I would play the piano quietly as parishioners lit prayer candles or sat in confessional. I pushed away from the door, turning my attention to the man at the end of the church. He did not hear my approach and kept to his task. When he turned finishing his work at the altar he stared in disbelief and distrust, like he was seeing a mighty angel of god and couldn't believe his eyes. And maybe he was, or maybe he was seeing a servant of the adversary. He seemed to have shaken himself and stalked towards me as I continued my way up the empty pews. Fear filled me in a nauseating rush that forced me to my knees as I met him in the chapel.

"God has brought you back to me." I looked up at these soft words but only saw hardness, "So that you may be cleansed of the demon that pulled you away."

He reached out almost as if in a kind gesture but instead fiercely grabbed me and dragged me to the back of the chapel and down from whence I had escaped. I cried out as I was hurled down the hard grey steps. It was all the same, a broken mirror on the wall, a cot in the corner, a hidden toilet, sink, and bathtub. All except the huge wooden cross that stood on the wall. My stomach churned at the sight.

“No.” quiet as a sigh, it escaped from my lips.

The man, my father, glided up behind me and roughly he placed a leather mask over my mouth. I fought him clawing at his arms. I managed to push him and I tried to run. But even though I was stronger now he overpowered me. He struck me hard threatening worse, I cowered as he threw a light cotton garment at me. I did as I was told hoping to save myself from whatever punishment he had planned. He placed a hand on my shoulder pushing me down. I knelt at his feet and heard him turn on the water for the bath.

“Up.” he commanded. “In.”

The water was freezing cold. Is this what the sea is like? I thought as he forced me under the water. I let the cold chill me, but reached out when my lungs started to burn. He let me up but only pushed me back under chanting some prayer to God. Praying to cleanse me. After he thought I was cleansed enough I was then dragged, teeth chattering and chilled to the bone, to the cross. He held my head up forcing me to look upon the wooden cross.

“Our Lord, God, was nailed to the cross dying for our sins. His apostle Peter too was nailed to a cross. Now you shall be nailed to the cross to bear first hand witness to what Jesus Christ did for you. What you take for granted.”

He recited as he was about to bind my wrists to the wood. I took an opportunity and struck out at him bolting for the door. Locked, from the inside. He stalked towards me striking my head against the wall dragging me back to the wooden cross. How long has he been planning this I asked myself as blood trickled down my face. He tied me to the wood then knelt down. He prayed over a hammer and three iron spikes. I begged him to stop, my screaming muffled by the mask as he placed the tip of a spike in the palm of my hand and drove it through my flesh with a sickening thud and rip of tendon, skin, and bone. The pain was like burning fire rippling from my fingertips to my shoulder. He repeated the prayer and motions for the other hand. Then he knelt at my feet. I laughed hoarsely through the pain at the irony of it. He was crucifying me, and was now knelt at my feet like he was worshipping me. I quit when I felt the iron tip on my foot. I took a deep shuddering breath crying out as he drove it through my feet. He left me there blood dripping from the spikes. I shuddered with the pain, the movement only making the pain worse as sweat formed on my brow.

A hand grabbed my face hard "Look at me!" I looked at the man and he held something in front of my face. The purple journal, "You stood amongst the devil. You wrote him lies and he wrote them back. This man revealed the devil to you and the kind and merciful God drove you out showing you his light. Saving you! Sending you back to me, to be cleansed.”