❝︎ 𝙈𝙪𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙙 . ❞︎ ━︎━︎ 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

『︎𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕』︎

Ship; reddie

Fluff

By dianawritesfic on Ao3

"I'll tell you one thing and one thing only spaghetti. I don't want to think about a future where you're not in it. I don't want to think about you being on the opposite side of this country from me. I don't want to think about any of that because I love you and it hurts. So please, shut the fuck up about college applications already!"

~

"Are you even listening to me right now Richie?"

Richie rolled his eyes at this but didn't answer. He was so tired. Tired of listening to Eddie freak out about college applications this and college essays that. He hated it. He didn't want to think about.

"You haven't written a single essay! Not even one! God, I can't believe you-"

He continued to drown him out, thinking instead of what it would be like to not be able to see his best friend, all of his best friends really, every single day. Dread creeped over him slowly, a feeling he hated. It made him feel anxious, trapped.

That was it, really. He felt trapped. In the past few months he had watched as the losers slowly met less and less after school to focus on their college applications. He was happy for them, loved their excitement, really he did, but it was as if he was stuck on the other side of a two way mirror and nobody could see him. He could only watch as everyone slowly drifted away from him, forgetting him-forgetting each other.

"Seriously Richie you're going to run out of time! Do you really want to be stuck here in Derry for the rest of your life?"

Richie winced at the thought of actually having to stay in Derry. No, that wasn't what he wanted. What he wanted was for everyone to stay together, for him and Eddie to stay together. He found himself wishing, not for the first time, that they could all just go to the same college. That they wouldn't all be scattered across the country like it seemed would be the case. Most of all, he wished that Eddie wouldn't be a whole coast away from him.

Eddie didn't know. Didn't know that Richie had already applied to one college and one college only. UCLA. He would do anything to get away from Derry and, unfortunately, that meant getting away from Eddie too. His heart ached just at the thought, and he shook his head, willing the thought away.

"See, you're shaking you head no, but I don't see you doing anything about it! I could help you, you know? I'm already done with mine and I'm just waiting to hear back from-"

"Stop!" Richie shouted, finally unable to keep quiet. "Stop. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about any of this. I don't want to talk about where you're going to college or about anything college related. I don't fucking care Eds!"

"I just-" Eddie began, and Richie could see how alarmed he was at his sudden outburst. "I just wanted to help, Rich. I just thought-"

"Here's a thought," Richie started as he got up from his bed to faced Eddie directly. "Maybe I don't want to think about this college shit. Maybe I don't want to think about losing everyone I care about. Maybe I don't want to think about losing the person I lo-"

He paused, swallowing hard as he realized what he was just about to say, to confess. He watched Eddie carefully, nervous at the way his best friend's eyes were wide-eyed with an emotion he couldn't quite place. Was it realization? fear?

"Richie, you aren't going to lose any of us. We'll always be best friends. But you really need to think about the future."

Richie closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly as his frustration began to overwhelm him. Of course Eddie didn't realize what he was about to confess. Why would he when all he could be bothered to bitch at Richie about was a future where they wouldn't be together?

He wasn't sure what came over him, perhaps the dread of never seeing Eddie again, never telling him how he felt, or perhaps just the need to shut him up for just one second, but suddenly his lips were on Eddies. The kiss was rough, nothing like how he imagined his first kiss with Eddie would be.

This wasn't Richie tenderly showing Eddie how much he loved him, had always loved him. This was a kiss that screamed "you're such a fucking idiot and I need you to shut up but I love you." Could a kiss even really convey that? As he pulled away, he could only hope Eddie understood what he meant.

"Richie..." Eddie gasped, eyes fluttering open as he moved to grab onto Richie's shirt. "What the fuck?"

"I'll tell you one thing and one thing only spaghetti. I don't want to think about a future where you're not in it. I don't want to think about you being on the opposite side of this country from me. I don't want to think about any of that because I love you and it hurts. So please, shut the fuck up about college applications already!"

Eddie stared at him in shocked, mouth opened to say words that wouldn't come out. Richie watched as he took a deep breath before Eddie finally said, "That was more than one thing."

"Jesus christ I hate you so much."

"That's not what you said literally thirty seconds ago," Eddie said as he smiled at him, moving his hands from where he had been gripping Richie's shirt and down to hold his hands instead. Richie couldn't help but smile back despite the small lingering dread of the coming future. As he looked into Eddie's eyes, leaning in for another kiss, soft and gentle this time, he couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, things may turn out to be alright.