protect you / jiara ff

-4-

Kie's POV

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I watch JJ storm out of the house and flinch a little when he slams the door behind him. I can feel another tear running down my face. I stand there for a few moments, unable to move. Pope walks up to me, obviously unsure what to do with my crying ass. I still just stand there in disbelief of what just happened. We hear a motor being turned on and the noises of JJ's bike getting quieter as he drives further away from the house. Pope looks at me and reaches out with one hand to wipe a tear from my face. When he touches me, I turn my head. I'm still not sure what Pope and I are, but in that moment I'm just too overwhelmed to deal with it. He quickly takes back his hand. "I.. I'm sorry. I just..I need some air", I say quietly, almost whispering. I walk out the front door and down to the dock. I sit down at the edge and let my feet dangle above the water. I look at my reflection and see my slightly swollen eyes and wet cheeks. I lay down and put my hands on my face. 

"YES, I WAS HOME. AND YES, HE BEAT ME UP. AGAIN." 

The words are repeating themselves in my head.

"BUT YOU DON'T EVEN CARE"

That one hit.

"Why would you if we're not family"

That one sentence. That one damn sentence replays over and over in my head and I can feel the tears running down the sides of my face again. When he said that, I regretted every word I had said to him in the minutes before. I know I provoked him and I hate myself for it. I know how hard it is for him, with his family and losing his best friend and all the other shit that's going on. And still I just couldn't give him a fucking break. I don't know why. I was just so damn worried when he was just gone like that without any kind of message. I was so worried that something happened to him. I already lost two of my best friends, I couldn't lose him as well. I seriously don't know what I would do if something happened to JJ. Or to Pope.. obviously. 

I take my hands off my face and stare at the ceiling of the little wooden stand that John B built at the end of the dock. My head feels so empty and so full at the same time. I stopped crying and I don't know how to feel. I'm just disappointed in myself. JJ thinks I don't care about him but I do. I don't know why he would think I don't.

I lay there until the sun starts going down, just thinking about what to do now. I finally got up and stopped for one more minute, looking at the water. I turn around and walk back to the chateau, feeling numb. I walk inside and stand in the middle of the room for a second. Pope is sitting on the couch. He looks up at me as I walk in but doesn't say anything. I walk towards the kitchen counter and take a pencil that I see laying around there. I open the drawers in search of a piece of paper. "What are you looking for?", I hear his voice from the other room. I turn my head to quickly look at him. "Paper", I answer shortly. "John B usually has some in his nightstand", he replies. I close all the drawers and nod, not saying anything. I walk over to John B's room and stop in front of the door. It's closed. I reach out for the door handle but can't get myself to open it. Pope must have heard me not moving because after about half a minute I hear steps coming closer until he is standing next to me. I look at him, my hand still on the door handle. We hadn't opened the door since John B disappeared. Pope reaches out with one hand, puts it on mine and pushes the door handle down slowly. We both let go of it as soon as it's open. We stand there for a few seconds, just looking at the room, before I slowly walk inside. I walk around the room and look at everything. I sit down on the bed and reach out to open the drawer of John B's nightstand. As predicted, there's, amongst some other stuff, some paper in there. I take a piece out and close the drawer again. It takes me a few minutes of looking around the room with tears in my eyes before I get up and leave the room again. Pope is still standing in the door frame as if he's waiting for me. I know things are a little weird between me and him right now but he is still the most supportive friend I ever had. When I walk up to the door again, he opens his arms. I look at him for a second before I walk up to him and just lean into him, feeling a tear run down my face and a sob escaping my mouth. He closes his arms and hugs me tightly. We stay like that for some time, none of us saying a word. These type of situations and moments don't need words. We both know that we're feeling the same things. 

After we break up the hug we go back to the kitchen. While Pope is getting a snack from the fridge, I sit down at the little table and put the piece of paper in front of me. I start writing. It takes me a while until I'm 100% happy with what I wrote. I read it one more time before folding it once and writing JJ on the folded side. I lay the piece of paper on the little cupboard right next to the door before I grab my backpack and walk out of the chateau, Pope following me. We both get into the van, Pope in the drivers seat and me next to him. As we drive away, I look back one more time and see the chateau getting smaller and smaller in the red and orange lighting of the setting sun.