It Rains on Weekends

Chapter 8

The cofagrius theorem?

"So..what happened?"
I take a sip of my soda. The fizziness of it, which had just calmed my nerves down not more than 10 seconds ago, now just made the carbonated bubbles settle in the bottom of my stomach.
"What're you talking about?" I said, playing with my curly straw and nibbling on a diabolical little piece of fudge. I had been looking forward to consuming it in its entirety, but now my appetite was almost gone.
Jace sighed, and grabbed a piece of his own candy to nibble on.
"Don't try to play coy. I know you like the back of my hand-"
"The hand that you wipe your ass with?"
He stopped to stifle a laugh.
"Dogdamnit.Shut up Tricia.I'm trying to be serious here."
I gave him a look of utter disbelief. It was the whole package, an ajar mouth, wide eyes, everything.
"We're in a candy shop, my favorite place! Why do we have to be serious here?"
"I took you here to be serious in the first place, that's why!"
He was somehow able to say these words in a kind of shout that just wasn't loud enough to catch other people's attention, aside from the person he was directing it to.
I breathed in deeply.
"I really like the weather today, you know that?"
His gaze lingered on me for a second, in silent speculation before he turned around to look out the window.
"It's friggin raining outside."He weather reports, turning back to me.
"I know. I like the rain. It like, for better or for worse, washes away the human waste that everyone leaves behind, you know?"
He raises his eyebrow at me. "Like the waste that I wipe away with the back of my hand?"
I laugh out loud, which leaves a weird taste in my mouth. Laughing, while avoiding the most important topic, just doesn't feel right.
"Which hand? Because I'm sure that that isn't all that you do with your left."
He laughed again, but this time it had a sort of bitterness clouding it.
"Hey! Give a guy some credit. I'm ambidextrous."
"Some talent." I giggle, and rise from my seat. I glance inside of my now-empty candy bag.My fingers still rove inside of it, desperately searching for any crumb of candy left.I then look at the empty bottle of soda that sits on top of the small, round table. It's a wooden table, and this candy shop is the kind that still uses the older glass bottles, though they usually contain specialty sodas that the shop whips up themselves. Without any given recipe that was given by other soda-producing companies.Relieved to have found an excuse to walk away and be able to breathe and think about what to tell him even if I was only able to stall it for a few more minutes, was much better than just blurting out "Hey!you know what? My mom's dead and now Jace is the only parent that I have left. Well, not so much a parent as a potential love interest and I know I'm not supposed to think of him like that because of my mom but my mom's not here anymore so I don't really know what to do about it.oh, y'know just the usual. So, hey, how's school kiddo?"
I snapped back into reality.
"Hey Jace."
He looked at me through heavily lidded and suspicion filled eyes.
"Yes? What evil plan to evade my barrage of truthful and possibly, judging by your reaction and hesitance to tell me the truth, life-changing questions have you come up with now."
"Um.."
"So which college have you gotten into? Are you pregnant? Have you had an affair with your semi-mediocre stepdad yet? Are you skipping 2 grades and going straight to creating the cure for the common cold or what?"
"Uh.." I gestured pointedly at the empty bag and glass."I was just going to go and get a refill, pardner.Let's not get too ahead of ourselves here."
He blew out a gust of hot air through his teeth.
"Fine. But you've got eight minutes, okay? That's more than enough time if you need to pee and get your candy or something."
It's my turn to raise an eyebrow at him."And if I have to take an immediate dump?"
"Then do it immediately."
I sigh and start to walk away from our table.Before I push my chair in, I give him a stern look, and say :"You were right for one thing.But The cure for the common cold will come tomorrow."
He cracks a small grin as I make an immediate beeline for the candy line, maneuvering around the round wooden tables that littered the shop in its beauty.As I moved through the shop, I was reminded of why I truly loved this shop. Since childhood, it had always been my favorite. With its wooden tables(though there weren't as many booths as there were singular tables) , high, dense,wooden ceilings, up front counter that held all of its glorious good behind it, I loved it. I loved all of the freshly polished, pine-scented alcoves and small bookcases that bordered the corners of the rectangular side shop. Also, the fireplace that sat near the back table, and how all of it had this, mature yet neon-electric laden, cheerful atmosphere.This was the first place that Jace had brought me, on my 7th birthday.May 13th, to be more specific.
When I scurried off quickly to the register, I greeted Lenny, the old shopkeeper who had become like a close friend of Jace's and mine over the years. He was kind, and always gave me a complimentary piece of fudge whenever I came in. We would, offer times, make small talk with eachother when the line wasn't long. I didn't like to hold others up and he didn't want to lose business so we both understood this concept..
"Hey, Lenny." I greeted him, as I walked up.
"Why hello dear." He replied, a warm smile on his lips.
"How is the weather up there?"Lenny was 6 '4'.
"Well, it certainly isn't raining men, like Jace would've liked."
I let out a guffaw. "Jace being gay isn't the punch line is it?"
He leaned closer and winked at me. It felt like we were part of a secret conspiracy or something.
"No, the weather is."And then he winked again.It wasn't so much of a wink as more of a polite twitch of the eye but it had the same effect.
I loved Lenny almost as much as I loved his candy shop. Not that I was whoring myself out for candy, he also loved making jokes at Jace's expense almost as much as I did. He also adored him, though I was pretty sure that nobody could even compete with me in that category.
"So, the usual, I presume?"
I grinned a little. "Yes please."
He nodded and turned away, getting to work behind the counter.
"Y'know, you are the oldest person who I've ever known to have such a sweet tooth."
"Same for you."
"Hey! A man's gotta enjoy his job right?"
"Right."
He walks back to the counter, and lays down a small white bag and a glass bottle of soda pop.
"And this job just happens to come with benefits." He gives me a look over the counter. It was a look that I couldn't quite comprehend,one that left his eyebrows tilted up and his mouth tugged at the corners for a sort of hopeful look. Then he placed his hand on my shoulder, and placed my items in my outstretched hands.
"Take this." He whispered, giving my shoulder a soft squeeze. "It's on the house this time."
It took me a moment to nod, but when I did, he pulled away and started to attend to the next customer.He had this polite, enthusiastic fake smile plastered on his face. I, however, felt a little sick as I wandered back to my table, dazed.
The look in his eyes was pity.And I could guess that my assumption was correct, because he had given me more than one piece of free fudge this time.But his kindness would be for nought.
I had already lost my appetite.
His pity made me feel even more self-conscious, and more than a little sick. And I didn't know exactly why. Maybe it was because I didn't like the idea of others knowing about my personal life. Or maybe, it was just that I didn't want others to feel bad because that was my job, wasn't it? Wasn't I supposed to be the one who was sad? Wasn't that pitiful yet hopeful look supposed to be mine?He didn't even have to ask if I was okay, or if anything was wrong.Was it that apparent?Or, was I that transparent? Am i just that blatantly obvious?I wasn't an anatomic science project that was meant to be picked apart.But the thing was, this was Lenny, we were talking about.And Lenny was kind and considerate of other people's feelings.Lenny didn't mean to hurt anybody abruptly. Lenny was a close family friend, and he had known all of my parents. All three of them. Somehow, even before I had met Jace. And I supposed that he must've known me too, because of the pleasant nostalgia that I always felt whenever I came in here.Lenny had known me for almost all of my life, even before i had met Jace. Even before my dad had died. But if Lenny knew, then that just meant, that Jace must already know too, right? Then why was he trying to get me to confess to it? Why was he pushing me to be sad?Or, was Lenny just more of a keen observer? Did he have a keen eye that had been taught to him as tools-of-the-trade,and had been sharpened over the years? Did wisdom and observations come with age?
As all of these thoughts swarmed my mind, I became aware of someone's hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay?"
I turned around, and looked at the man who had caught me. He was wearing a pair of spectacles, the ones that were suited for a man who was blind.He had a bit of stubble, white stubble, both on his chin and on his upper lip.There was a cane dangling from the fore-arm of the one that was restraining me, and in the other,He was holding a small, white bag.
It took me a moment to answer back, but "Ye..yes I'm okay. Why?" Came my dazed reply.
He shook his head, his grip on me loosening a little. His worried expression stayed the same.
"Well, you just dropped your bag, and you looked like you were having some troubles." He raised the white bag, and handed it off to me. I took it into my clammy hands, grateful for his concern. I was also grateful to him for waking me up, in a sense.
"Th-thank you." I managed to mutter through my suddenly dry mouth. I mustered up a smile.
He nodded, his mouth set into a tight line , as he let go of me and turned away. I was left with a smile that he didn't return.
I started to walk off, back to Jace, who was rushing towards me now, when everything seemed to happen in slow motion.
A voice ran through my head, so crisp and clear that it couldn't have been spoken out loud above the soft din of the shop.This shop. The old one, that was one of the few authentic ones left in town.The one that I had grown up in, was vanishing. Fading even, as the men's voice said:
"Wake up."
And it was just these two words that made everything around me start to melt. Jace. And the man.
The man whirled back around, and I realized that he looked.. Different somehow. Sort of weird. I had to catch myself from falling when I realized what had just changed about him. His face was morphing, changing into someone else. With a start, I registered who he actually was.
It was Judge.
Judge, who wasn't wearing any glasses and who didn't have a cane. Judge, who's eyes were scared and red and wild, as he shouted at me to wake up. That he had been looking for me all day. That, neither him or Jace had been able to find me.Then suddenly his voice changed, and he was asking me, really asking me, what I was doing in the middle of this park, in this playground, in the middle of the night. And then there was Jace, and he was holding me, wrapping his arms around me, and crying. Really crying. As he picked me up and carried me away from the asphalt of Dew Park. The park that I had met Jace at.
Why was I at the park?
"Where's Lenny?" My head swam, and my voice was cracking. I had such a headache.And it was dark, very dark.How long had I been out?
Jace looked down at me, and shook his head. A teardrop went onto the tip of his nose and rested there, before he leaned forward and planted a kiss on my forehead. It splashed onto me, and it was then that I realized how wet my face was. But I wasn't the one who was crying. These were Jace's tears. Just how long had he been leaning over me, crying like this?
"Wh-where's Lenny?" I repeated, my voice wavering and echoing over in my head.
Jace just shook his head. "Go to sleep, Tricia. You're safe now."
"No..no where's Lenny? I need to know where Lenny is."
"No. Tricia close your eyes. You're okay."
"No.Lenny knew my mom. Lenny knows me. He really knows me. And I need to know where he is."
"Tricia.Stop it."
"No I won't!Just tell me where the fuck Lenny is!"
"Tricia I wouldn't know!" He yelled at me,slowing his pace. "Because I don't know who the fuck Lenny is! I've never met a guy named Lenny before!"
I shook my head, tensing up, trying to vault myself out of his arms.
"No, no! You're lying, Jace! You and I and Lenny are good friends! We,we've known eachother for a long time!"
"Tricia! I don't know who that is! And if he's a friend of yours, then he surely is no friend of mine!Because I never once met him!"
"No, no."
"I've never met him, I swear that I've never met him."
"No,Jace, you have! He existed! He was right over there!" I looked up and over Jace's shoulder, and pointed to,
To what?
Lenny wasn't in the play structure.
Where am I?
My eyes widened in alarm. I started to panic.
"Jace, we were just in the candy shop.The one that you took me to for my 7th birthday. I swear that we were." I said, breathing fast, my voice pitching and shaking over the edge.
"You were dreaming, Tricia. You walked right out the door and passed out in the middle of the playground. There is no candy shop."He said calmly.
"But.. You took me there for my 7th birthday. On May 13th.The one on South Avenue, right out of the back alley off of Willow Pauze street."
"I never took you to a candy shop."
"Yes you did."
"No I didn't."
"But I remember it-"
"No! Listen to me Tricia, for once just fucking listen to me!"
I grew quiet. We were nearing my house.
"I never took you to a candy shop." He continued, breathing harder now. I guess the task of carrying me so far was getting to him. "I know this. Because I took you to the arcade near Rat's Pizzeria for your 7th birthday.I still have the wristbands and our tickets tacked to my wall. If you want me to show you."
His last words wavered, and made me dizzy. And I was suddenly terrified, and so sleepy. I could feel his grip tightening on me, as he said:
"Lenny doesn't exist.There is no candy shop on South avenue. They replaced it with a mini-mall years ago.And you're birthday, fuck me for knowing this when you're delirious without knowing it, but it's on December 14th. Not may 13th, okay? "
"Okay." But even as I said it, I just couldn't bring myself to believe it.
For the first time tonight, he looked down at me, and his worried expression, an expression that I rarely saw on the steely Jace, made me break on the inside.
"Sleep now, Tricia. It's okay to sleep now."
But I could barely make out these words now. And he really didn't even have to say them.Because I was already falling asleep. I was already sleeping, even when I felt that I was truly awake.
Was it all just a dream?
A spark of hope, something that I had forbidden, shot through me, and I thought :
Does that mean that my mom's still alive? If this is all just a dream, then that part must've just been the part of a nightmare, right?
Before the darkness cascaded me Into a calming inferno.