I'm going to be real here,
and I know that metaphors would be nice,
but at this stage,
I'm just gonna say exactly how I feel.
I feel trapped in the middle,
when people fall out and argue,
because I want to stay civil,
I don't run from confrontation ; I don't run toward it.
I've seen too many people use me as a go between,
in their wars of words they shoot across.
I feel awful;
I feel myself slipping,
but catch myself just in time to feel terrible,
and not fall off of the edge.
It's this perpetual see-saw that hurts,
balancing on a ledge,
between accepting reality and finding it positive,
and realising it's horrific and negative.
Some people think,
it's all just how you perceive the world around you,
what if,
it's just the distinction between,
thinking the best of the world in a bad situation,
and thinking the bad situation is the best of the world.
I just needed to speak my mind,
I feel I can't talk to anyone,
so I publish it as a poem,
so it's an art form,
that most - not all - people can read,
and maybe feel a flicker of emotion,
for a second,
until they start reading another book.
Or find another poem that resonates with them.
Or sing a song because it describes their feelings so well.
Or watch a show over and over and for that one character who so happens to be exactly like them!
No!
Sometimes what really explains you is an instrumental,
when your life is full of yelling and down-talking and judgement,
sometimes silence is what describes you best,
because we've all been there,
when you're sad, miserable and unmotivated and you don't know why!
But I could never deal with the silence,
because then I'm alone with my thoughts,
alone with myself and that's causes me to slip,
so I settle for the poems I resonate with,
with momentary emotion,
and songs that describe my current mood,
and the characters that express what I can't.
I need the background music.
I can't be alone with me.
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