He will be the death of me L.H.

I'm not going unless I'm in this

"He wants you to join the Cartel." Paige's words stunned me. Everything slowed down as her words replayed in my mind. Join the Cartel? Just for help against a drug dealer? There has got to be more to it. Am I right? Why would he want me to join? Do I have what it takes? Paige waved in front of my face and I snapped out of it. "You won't be fighting or killing people if that's what you're thinking about. At least not until after training and if you want to do those things. Everyone has a choice on what they do in the Cartel, but once you pick there is no changing or backing out." Well I suppose the training could make me better, plus I could actually have an excuse to work ou-did she just say everyone has a choice on what they do? Does that mean she chose to kill people? "Now you're thinking about me choosing to kill huh?"

"This is all so much Paige." I ignore her question not wanting to hear anymore.

"Yea I know it is, and I am sorry Ardis. I didn't want you to know this side of me. I don't like keeping secrets. I just don't want you to change." I see where she's coming from, if I was in her position I wouldn't tell her about any of this. 

"What do you want me to do Paige?" I looked at her and she stopped and thought about it for a minute. 

"I am fully in the Cartel now, I won't be having a normal life anymore. The only time I'll see you is school but after we graduate this year I won't see you ever again." Holy shit, school!! My mom and dad will find out about me missing then. How could I have not care?! Listen Ardis! "Plus the Cartel isn't all bad, there are parties, and balls. Although I hate wearing dresses, I get away with skin tight dress sometimes, it depends on how fancy the ball is and what it's for. The bonds with some members are great also. Like our bonds with the boys..." Paige frowned as she brought the boys up. What about Michael and Ashton? Luke and Calum? If I join do I lose them? "But if you don't become a killer and just become eye candy, and help Carlton get partners you can still see them."

"Eye candy?" I laughed and she smiled.

"Yea eye candy, you gorgeous creature." I shook my head and got more comfortable on the bed. 

"So if I say yes I can just be eye candy, still get to be with my best friend, and see my other friends?" 

"I can't promise about seeing the boys Ardis, but I'm sure you'll have more freedom then me." I nodded, closed my eyes, and laid down on the bed. Super comfortable bed. 

"Will I have my own room like yours?" I asked with my eyes stilled closed, Paige laughed.

"This isn't just my room Ardis." I opened my eyes and looked at her. "It's Romeo's also." I furrowed my eyebrows and sat up looking around the room.

"What?" I looked back at her, the room wasn't necessarily girly, but it definitely wasn't boyish either. I suppose it was a neutral room, but you wouldn't be expecting a boy to live in here, at least a straight boy.

"Well I didn't live here Ardis," Paige laughed more. 

"But now you do? So does he go to a new room?" Paige smiled and shook her head. "What about Calum?" She frowned and then her face went emotionless. 

"Nothing can happen with him." I frowned as she shut off completely, she never does this. 

"When I join will I turn like you?" I asked this hoping I could get her to show some kind of emotion.

"I'm like this because I was trained to do it Ardis, you won't turn like this. You won't kill people, you won't see the things I have seen and done. Not anymore hopefully." I nodded and laid back down, she was monotone at the beginning of her sentence, but slowly had shown sadness. 

"Will I get a room like this?" I asked again.

"Yes, you will get to design it and everything." I nodded. Being eye candy doesn't sound to bad, plus I'll have Paige teach me to defend myself more. Should I?