Tear in my heart //CHUUYA NAKAHARA X READER//

5'

I woke up when it was almost sunset. I found myself in someone's bed, with a white sheet and soft pillows. Everything smelled like cologne mixed with dark wine... For a moment I just dived my head into the soft pillows, hoping that all of this mess would be forgotten maybe just for one second.
Sadly, but I came back to reality very quickly... And when I lowered my eyes to my body I saw that I was only in my underwear. ...

"Why I am without my clothes?!"

"Good morning." Outside the door, a man appeared holding a glass of wine in his hand.

"Gah!" A muffled noise came out of my mouth as I quickly wrap a sheet around myself.

"I wasn't looking at you."

"Yeah... sure thing.."  We both looked at each other before I turned my eyes to the light brown floor.

"Why I am in your room?... Without clothes on?"

"Hmm, I never knew people were sleeping with clothes on. You do that?"

"No, but that means...you undressed me.."

"Yes."

Chuuya turn away from me, he puts that empty wine glass on the table, then my eyes lock on the clothes in his hands.

"Over there is a bathroom."

We both looked at the door leading to a small room. Before going there, I looked again at the clothes that were already in my hands.

"Your clothes?" I asked without raising my head, avoiding his deep gaze.

"If you don't like it, you can be with that sheet around your body."

I don't take so long time to change. Brushing my H/C hair, I looked at my portrait in the mirror. His clothes suited me well because we were both short, maybe his borrowed t-shirt was a bit bigger for me.

"Thank you, Chuuya. It's nice how your clothes suit me because, I think our hights are similar."
I smiled softly when I came back.

"What?!" He shouts at me immediately. "You say I'm short?"

"N-no. What? Of course no."

"You shit..." He grabs my wrist and roughly pulls me to him.

"Where are we going?"

"Back. You don't remember? You are fucking our hostage."

Suddenly I heard his laugh.

"You for real thought I kidnapped you because you're "very" beautiful and I just didn't have anything to do? You are so stupid."

"No, you short bastard!" I wasn't sure what was going on, but my body was overwhelmed with anger I never felt. A shadow, slightly larger than me, quickly emerged next to me, Chuuya looked at him then at me, not knowing what to do. "You treat me like a dog! Do you think I will just sit and act the way you want?"

"Are you fucking out of your mind?! Make that shadow vanish!"

"Hahaha! You scared of tiny shadow?" I shouted louder while Chuuya tried to grab my hand.

"I'm not scared.. of that..." His eyes locked at the blackness above our heads. I couldn't figure out what he was going to do, so I tried to tell the shadow to attack him. But Chuuya was faster and stronger than me. This time the wind was way higher, his power mixed with mine.

"Look at me." I heard his calm voice. He tried to hug me or something...and I truly wanted to be in his arms. "Are you listening to me?"

Chuuya's one hand found my cheek. His grey eyes collided with my E/C ones. Everything around us revolves. My shadow is trying to knock down his gravity, while he's trying to calm my anger accumulated in that shadow. I didn't pay attention to all the caused mess. Only to his eyes and his hand pressed to my cheek. From the inside, I just scream that he somehow calm me down and stop me.

Once I wanted to lower my hands, I noticed a tiny syringe with white liquid in Chuuya's hands.

"N-no.." I murmured trying to push myself away from him. "Don't do-" I fell in Chuuya's hands, feeling how his strong arms wrapped around my slender body.

"If you had kissed me, it would hurt less."

***

Almost an hour later, I still wondered why I didn't faint, even though I hoped that I'm gonna do that.  Now I was in Chuuya's strong arms...and he carried me somewhere in uncomfortable silence.

"Oi..." He was gazing at me, trying to calm his breathing.

"Y-yes?" I didn't want to look at him, I didn't want Chuuya to think how weak I am...

"Do you think I liked that time when I kissed you?" Now we were in the place where I woke up the first night, he was sitting right next to me, our hands touched slightly.
I didn't answer anything. I felt like my heart wanted to jump out just because of his voice and the words he was saying.

"Okay, I ask you otherwise. Do you liked that kiss?"

"Why... Why are you asking this...Now?" My voice turned into nothing more than a whisper.

"I don't know... It feels like I have to know what you felt.." Chuuya lowered his head ... Now I could see his orange curls.

"It wasn't a real kiss for me... but I liked it.." I whispered in fear of his reaction. Maybe it was a show... And this honest moment is fake.

"Was that your first kiss?"

I nodded, slightly blushing. Chuuya slowly turned to me in hesitation. His hand found my hip, I felt spaced out when our eyes met, and when his face came closer to mine.

"Can I kiss you only this time?" Our faces were so close that I could feel his breath on my cheek.

"Yes."

He brings his lips to mine, slightly touching them as I closed my eyes when they met. In this tiny moment, we share, the world falls. I dare to not think about Dazai, or the agency or what will happen tomorrow, in that second my weak hands wraps loosely around his neck, one my hand presses a piece of his white shirt while Chuuya's hands securely locks on my waist, deepening the kiss. I'm giving my best to memorize his lips softness, the way our lips connected, not so rough, but simply meaningful and at the same time a bit passionate. As I pull away, breathless, I realise how much I'd wanted this.

A/N
thanks to all who are reading this book! love you!