Wicked Game

03 | White Mercedes

Play: White Mercedes by Charli XCX 

03 | White Mercedes 

Halos isang month na ang nakalipas simula nung last conversation namin ni Ildelfonso. I thought he was going to bother me all the way through my college life after that intense mind puzzling convo, and from that moment on I was honestly really expecting and preparing myself kahit hindi ko alam kung ano yung mga isasagot ko if ever he'll be squeezing me with questions until makuha niya yung gusto niyang sagot, but I was also not disappointed na hindi niya ako binobother. It's just that this is me we are talking about--he knew something about me or he knew something about my Tito Gustavo and it bothers me a lot. It distracts me a lot na parang wala lang sakanya. It caused me to overthink a lot. 

One time nung nagkasalubong kami sa hallway he even just looked straightly lang like it was nothing. Like the intense conversation we had was nothing. Like we never met. Not a bit smile. Wait. What? Me expecting a smile coming from him? No. Hell not. 

Ugh. Ang gulo ko na tuloy. He is really  being unpredictable huh. 

After kasi nung last sagot ko sakanya  agad na akong lumabas mula sa room at nagdirediretso na pauwi ng condo. Hindi ko na nga na call si Manong Donny para sunduin ako nun, and was not able to bid my goodbye kina Dia and Clark. I was too nervous nun at yung tanging nasa utak ko is makauwi lang ng condo. Kinakabahan ako at takot, I don't wanna cause a trouble or any issue especially kay Papa knowing na illegitimate daughter niya lang ako--he even hid me and my mama's identity just to protect his image.  He wouldn't go to that extent if he really doesn't care about his career diba? At isa pa ayoko ng dumagdag sa mga issues na pinaggagawa ng mga half siblings ko. I am trying my best to live a simple, low-key life. 

"Sydney?"tawag ni Secretary Gin, masyado na atang occupied yung utak ko to the point na hindi ko na naririnig yung mga pinag-uusapan nila. 

"Why do we still have to keep her identity? Gosh! Gin she is already 20 years old I believe she is already old enough to know what is right and what is wrong. She's a top student, which makes her a good role model if ever makilala man siya ng crowd as Ramon's daugher"Tito Gustavo looked at me sabay wink. 

Tito Gustavo was my mama's best friend and ever since kahit nung hindi ko pa dala-dala yung  apilyedo niya siya na yung tumatayong papa ko, they really are the epitome of friendship na through thick and thin. Nung inask siya ni mama tungkol sa plan nila ng totoo kong ama hindi siya nagdalawang isip na um-oo sa plano. 

Even though wala na akong pakealam sa totoo kong ama for the sake kay mama I had to go on with the plan, which my father will sustain my college fees and secure my future, only on one condition kailangan hindi ako makilala ng crowd bilang daughter niya--mama wanted me to enter a prestigious college that's why he ask Tito Gustavo and poof from Sydney Kathrine Rodriguez to Sydney Kathrine Carter but my truest real surname is Pascual, complicated? yeah I know my life sucks. 

Madali lang naman sana solutionan tong problemang to pwede naman sana ako maging scholar or mag take a gap year para makapag-ipon kung hindi lang naging prideful si mama na humingi ng tulong kay Tito Gustavo eh hindi sana magiging kumplikado ang sitwasyon na meron ako ngayon kaso si mama ayaw niya na daw maging super pabigat kay Tito Gustavo, kahit na daw willing itong magparaal saakin but still ayaw niya. She always have that excuse na "No, you are your father's responsibility" pagod akong makipag-argue kay bahala na. 

Agad kong ibinalik yung mga mata ko kay Secretary Gin  na siyang nasa harapan ko"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi to"pinalipas ko muna ang isang month thinking if ever Ildelfonso bother's me again then that's the time na magsusumbong na ako but yun nga lumipas nalang ang isang buwan mukhang wala naman na siyang pakealam na. Baka trip niya lang talaga na paglaruan ako.