Amortentia

Part 30

The four went down to the Great Hall for lunch a little bit later, and as soon as John could see through the doors he was automatically looking for Sherlock at the staff table. To his happiness he saw him, sitting as far as possible from Snape, who was also there. Sherlock’s eyes were watching the door, and when he saw John, he seemed to lighten up, like he could ignore the terrible conditions of the Great Hall as long as John was in view. John wondered how long it would take for him to come over to the common room, he wanted to talk to him again, hear his voice, and see his face up close. He smiled up at Sherlock, who smiled back, and made John’s heart do a weird sort of tap dance in his chest. The four sat down at the Gryffindor table, which wasn’t very busy since they were late, but it was Saturday and the food stayed longer than it did on weekdays. Once John had eaten as much as he could as fast as he could, he looked up at the staff table again to see if Sherlock was coming down. John had purposely left a seat for him on the bench next to him, but Holmes was still sitting at the staff table, his eyes towards the floor. John frowned slightly, but sat quietly as he waited for his friends to finish eating.
“Do you think he’ll come over to go to the common room?” Greg asked after John’s head had turned back from the table.
“I hope so.” John said, making Sara smile.
“You should’ve listened to us about him, then you could have been this happy way before, without the guilt of Mary.” She said.
“There isn’t guilt of Mary, she ended it, she said as long as I’m happy, she’s happy, and I’m pretty darn happy.” John said almost accusingly.
“Ya, she’s probably walking around the halls with a smile just because you are, makes sense.” Mike pointed out.
“Well I’m sorry, but it’s not really my problem right now.” John sighed. Sara’s smile disappeared, she seemed to understand Mary’s problems right now even though John was pretty sure she only went out with one person and she dumped him.
“Why are you guys complaining? He’s back with Sherlock, he is smiling through the halls, we’ve wanted this ever since he woke up in the hospital wing!” Greg pointed out.
“Ya, I guess so.” Sara agreed poking what was left of her potato salad with her fork, looking as if she was finished with it.
“Let’s go then.” Mike said hopefully. John looked at the staff table, making eye contact with Sherlock, and an understanding seemed to pass through them, so as John got up to leave the Great Hall, Sherlock got out of his seat at the staff table and made his way to the Entrance Hall to meet up with them. John watched him come with anticipation, excited to finally see him again after what, an hour, which felt like a life time. How his heart managed a couple of months was almost impossible.
“Hello John.” He said, smiling down at him.
“Hi.” John said, rather shyly. Sherlock smiled at his friends as a greeting, but went back to John as soon as they all said hi back.
“So, common room?” John asked.
“Sure.” Sherlock agreed. John led the pack up the steps to the common room, Sherlock walking beside him, standing up strait and looking elegant as usual, where John was just, John. But obviously there was something okay with being John, because Sherlock liked him. The Fat Lady let them in after they told her the password, and they climbed through the portrait hole. The common room was still filled, as John expected. Kids had nowhere to be, and they probably were all done with playing in the snow, as John and his friends were, and were setting in for the afternoon. The chairs in front of the fire were taken, as were most of the tables, so they sat in the table in the corner, as they didn’t most of the time. It was a good place not to get over heard, even if you did kind of look antisocial.
“So, how was losing the snowball fight?” Sara asked, a pathetic attempt to start a conversation.
“Surprisingly okay.” Sherlock said with a bit of a smile. John’s heart rate increased, realizing Sherlock meant the staff room incident.
“Chess?” Mike asked.
“No.” John decided, making the decision for the rest of them. The five brainstormed things to do. On an afternoon like this, their options were limited.
“Library?” Sherlock recommended.
“No.” Sara said at once. She was never a big reader, she only read for homework assignments, and the library was torturous to her.
“There’s nothing to do around here!” Greg exclaimed.
“Well, the snow is still falling, if you want to go back out.” John said.
“I’m already getting frost bite, I don’t want to get all snowy and cold again.” Mike complained.
“So what then?” John asked.
“Walk?” Sherlock asked him.
“Where, it’s freezing out.” John pointed out.
“In the halls, I don’t know, just something to do.” Sherlock shrugged. John looked at his friends for some support, and they were all glaring at him to say yes.
“Sure, that sounds good.” John agreed. He got up from the table, following Sherlock out of the portrait hole and into the hallways. They were mostly empty, except for the occasional student wandering around for no visible reason. The halls were cold, the freezing air seeping through the gaps between the windows and walls.
“It’s a nice day isn’t it?” Sherlock asked.
“If you consider freezing and miserable nice, yes.” John said, making Sherlock laugh.
“I think it’s pretty out, all the snow on the ground and the trees, it reminds me of Christmas.”
“Next week already.” John pointed out. He tried to keep the conversation flowing, to keep the awkwardness to a minimum. He knew when he looked away Sherlock was looking at him, and Sherlock probably knew when he looked away John was looking at him. They both wanted to pick up where Professor Sprout interrupted, but neither had the courage. John didn’t want to make Sherlock feel rushed or uncomfortable, and Sherlock didn’t want to push John too far.
“I always loved Christmas when I was little; my parents would dress up like Santa and creep through the house with the presents. They knew Mycroft and I were hiding behind the couch, watching. I was convinced Santa was real when I was little, but then Mycroft spoiled it for me.” Sherlock said.
“Mycroft is your brother I’m guessing.” John asked.
“Yes, nasty little idiot he is. I guess I showed him though when I got my letter and he didn’t.” Sherlock said with a pleased smile.
“My sister was furious when I got one; she thought it was some prank from my parents or my friends, she even chased down the mailman.” John laughed, remembering the scene. “Of course he didn’t have a clue what she was talking about since it was sent by owl.”
“She and Mycroft should start an anti Wizarding group.” Sherlock laughed.
“I don’t think anyone would want to work with her.” John decided. They continued walking through the halls, John had no idea what to say or what to do, and this was extremely awkward.
“Do you have any idea who actually wiped my memory?” John asked a question that had bugged him for a while.
“No, the spell came out of nowhere.”
“You were there then?” John asked with surprise.
“I was the one who blocked the spell the best I could, but not in time.”
“I guess I’m lucky you were there, memory charms are nasty.” John decided.
“For everyone.” Sherlock agreed.
“I’m sorry if I was a jerk; I didn’t know that I was hurting you so much, if I had known I would’ve done something about it ages ago.” John said.
“It’s not your fault; you thought I was just a teacher. I know I shouldn’t have blown up like that, I think I just kind of forced you into all of this.”
“You didn’t force me into anything, I chose this, and I’m happy I did.” John assured. They had stopped walking without John realizing it, John was looking up at Sherlock, staring into his green eyes, and he was looking back at John with the same lounging look. The hallway was empty, thankfully, but anyone could just walk around the corner.
“I’m very happy you did too.” Sherlock agreed. His eyes never left John’s. John took a step forward, towards him, but he didn’t go in for the kill yet, he was waiting to see what Sherlock would do. Sherlock took a deep breath, glancing behind them for a brief second, then stepped forward again, pulling John to his and kissing him deeply. John couldn’t hide his relief as he joined in, wrapping his arms around Sherlock’s neck and kissing him back. Sherlock opened the door closest to them without breaking the kiss, John knew it was empty because there were no classes going on anyway. Everyone was in their houses or the teachers in their offices. They moved together into the room, John slamming the door closed behind him and then continued the kiss. His heart was beating harder than it ever had before, practically jumping out his chest. Nothing could interrupt them now, and John didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. He ran his fingers through the back of Sherlock’s hair, curly and soft and something he’d always wanted to do. He wondered how he managed to go months without this feeling in his heart, how Sherlock had lived, watching John fall in love with someone else, and not doing anything to approach him. John felt like a monster for keeping him from this feeling, this right, and this perfect. Sherlock slowly pulled his lips from John’s, but keeping him in his arms all the same. John sighed, that had been the best time of his entire existence.
“Good thing Professor Sprout isn’t here.” Sherlock said with a smile. John smiled too, he felt like he could smile for the rest of his life.
“Sherlock, I am so sorry.” John said, planting a soft kiss on his Sherlock’s lips, short but sweet.
“For what?” Sherlock muttered. He was so close; John could feel his breath exhaling out of his nose.
“For making you suffer those long months without me.” John answered.
“It’s worth it.” Sherlock decided.
“You had to watch me, knowing what we had, and you did nothing.”
“I didn’t want to scare you, you saw how that turned out, you were terrified.”
“I didn’t know, I had no idea how much I love you.” John said. Sherlock smiled a bright smile that made all the shadows disappear in the dusty room.
“You love me?” he asked, as if he didn’t think that was possible.
“Yes, god yes.” John agreed, and pulled Sherlock’s head closer to him, kissing him full on the lips. Sherlock kissed him back, and John knew that every word he said was true. He did love Sherlock, insanely.
“I love you too.” Sherlock said without pulling away, but John got the message. After a while, John pulled away, not because he wanted to, but he had to go down to dinner eventually. He didn’t want them to come out of the room with students crowding the halls that would probably raise some suspicion.
“We should go back to the common room.” John decided.
“Why?”
“Dinner.” John said simply. Sherlock nodded, as if that cleared everything up. John back away a little bit, getting ready to go out in public now, he hoped people couldn’t hear his beating heart when they walked past, that would be kind of a giveaway. Sherlock led the way down some stairs and to the main staircase, which was where they said a very forceful goodbye. John walked back to the common room alone, his heart beating fast and his world seeming perfect. Sherlock was his, all his, and nothing would ever change that. He would’ve never guessed a kiss could feel that perfect. He told the Fat Lady the password and bounced into the common room, a smile on his face that couldn’t be changed right now.
“How’d it go?” Greg asked. The common room wasn’t very full; most people were at dinner already or starting to leave for it.
“You can guess I think.” John said. Sara clapped her hands once and Mike smiled at the news.
“And to think this is the second time we hear information like this.” Greg said.
“Luckily Professor Sprout wasn’t around.” John laughed, sinking into an available armchair. The fire was crackling invitingly, the warmth seeping into him, even though he wasn’t necessarily cold.
“Well, we better get ready for dinner then, John, fix your hair, it looks like you purposely messed it up.” Sara instructed. John patted his hair down, unaware and uncaring. Greg gave him a knowing look, but John rolled his eyes, even though he was still smiling. They climbed out of the portrait hole and then walked down to dinner together. The halls were still cold, but John didn’t notice it much, he was in his own personal bubble of warmth and happiness. The snow had started to fall even more, and it was really starting to pile up out there.
“So, any plans with Sherlock later?” Sara asked as they walked into the Great Hall.
“No, just because we’re together doesn’t mean I have to spend my entire life with him.” John said.
“Would you want to?” Greg laughed. John smiled guiltily; of course he would want to. He looked up at the staff table and saw Sherlock looking down on him, smiling softly.
“Don’t look now, but he’s there.” Sara muttered, heading over to the table. John was looking anyway, smiling back at Sherlock. He walked over to the table and sat next to Mike, who had already started helping himself to the food. 
“So you do like him then?” Greg asked.
“God yes.” John laughed.
“I’ll plan the wedding then.” Sara laughed.
“Hey, do you know the date today?” John asked.
“Um, it’s the twentieth, why do you ask?” Greg said.
“Oh, I was just wondering.” John shrugged. HE hadn’t bothered to check his lunar chart yet, and he panicked slightly when he saw the sun was starting to set. If the full moon was tonight then he could turn full out werewolf in the middle of the Great Hall, attacking countless innocent students. He looked at the enchanted ceiling, to see if the moon was visible, but not yet, the sun was still setting. The falling snow made the ceiling look white, like a Christmas card. Thinking of Christmas, John needed to get his friends Christmas gifts, so there must be a Hogsmeade trip coming up, yet another date opportunity. According to Sara, who had tried to fill him in on a crash course of his past relationship with Sherlock, he had asked Sherlock to Hogsmeade as a first date. John wondered how that went, and how Sherlock responded to so many people in small areas, like jammed in the Three Broomsticks line.
“John, aren’t you going to eat anything?” Mike asked. John realized he’d been staring at his plate, lost in thought. His friends had already started on their dinner.
“Ya uh, sorry.” John said, helping himself to some roast beef.
“Thinking about You Know Who?” Greg asked.
“Actually, no.” John said with a smile. He wished he was though. “Is there a Hogsmeade visit coming up soon?”
“Probably, it’s close to Christmas, we all need presents.” Mike shrugged.
“You going to take him?” Sara asked with a smile.
“Is there any other topic in your heads than Sherlock and I?” John asked with fake annoyance.
“I should say the same for you.” Sara replied. She had a point.
“I don’t know what I’m going to get my parents, they always like quills and other wizard stuff. I should get my brother a snitch, he’d like that, and my sister would want candy.” Mike planned.
“I should get my parents an owl to send me letters for after Hogwarts.” John planned.
“I still get my parents #1 mom mugs.” Greg laughed.
“What are you going to get Sherlock?” Sara asked.
“Now you’re just getting annoying. I don’t know what I’ll get him, what does he like?” John asked.
“You.” Greg muttered, making John blush slightly.
“Well, he seems like he could always use potion ingredients, I’m pretty sure he’d got an owl, maybe a quill?” Mike suggested.
“That’s original.” John laughed.
“There aren’t a lot of presents out there!” Mike defended.
“Just get him some chocolates and tea.” Greg shrugged, taking a tart from the dessert platters that just appeared. John rolled his eyes, but at least he didn’t have to shop for a girlfriend, who got emotional if you accidently spelled their name wrong on the tag. John ignored the suggestion, that must have been the worst present to get him, chocolates and tea, that’s very thoughtful. John helped himself to some pudding before the four made their way back to the common room to settle in for the night. John was exhausted, after the snowball fight, not to mention all the emotional energy he had used that day. He had kissed Sherlock twice in one day, about the second day they were actually together too. Well, two days that John remembers. It was constantly annoying to try to remember something just to find a hole in your memory, like a fact for a test, or potion ingredients, even things going on at home. John had sort of gotten used to the fact that his memories were gone, it didn’t seem like anyone was hiding anything anymore either, like they had with the fact that he was in love with Sherlock. He had no idea why all the sudden it wouldn’t damage his mind, but he wasn’t complaining, he seemed to have filled in all the important gaps. They gave the Fat Lady the password and the portrait hole swung open, letting them enter the common room. Most of the students were back from dinner, so most of the tables and armchairs were occupied. There was one table though, that had a lot of people crowded around, and people seemed to be signing up for something.
“What’s going on over there?” John asked Greg.
“Probably the list of people going home for Christmas.” He guessed. John groaned, he had forgotten to ask his parents.
“Let me run up, I need to send an owl.” John decided, running up to the dormitories, as if a couple of seconds affected how quickly the letter would arrive. John pulled some parchment, ink, and a quill from his school bag and started scribbling a note asking if he could come home for Christmas. He was always allowed, but sometimes they had an event going on or something. The note was fairly legible, so he folded it up, wrote his parents’ names, and walked back to the common room. His three friends were sitting at a table, and John showed them the letter before leaving the common room for the owlery. He walked through the lonely halls, which seemed to be unusually deserted. He climbed the stairs to the open air tower, shivering and pulling his robes tighter around himself. The cold wind blew sharply against the tower, and even the owls were snuggled deep in their wings to get warm. He spotted Jam in a little box pretty high up, but once he got his attention, the owl flew down and perched on the snowy stone wall. John tied the letter to his leg, told him where to go, and the owl took off, soaring above the castle and the forbidden forest until he disappeared into the snowy background. John walked back to the common room, thankful for the torches and walls in the hallways. He wondered if Sherlock was going home for Christmas or not. He probably was, most people did, and since he’s a professor he might even have his own house.
“UMQRA.” John told the Fat Lady, who swung open. The common room was even warmer than the hallways, with the fire burning in the fireplace and all of the people crowded around. He joined his friends at the table, who were talking about Christmas again. From what John heard, Greg and Sara were definitely going home for Christmas break, but Mike had forgotten to ask his parents like John had. He didn’t seem in a rush to ask either, like he wanted to stay for some reason. John would hate to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas break, it must be lonely and boring, considering there was basically nothing to do except sit around or do homework. He could also not go that long without seeing his family; he would miss them a lot, even if they drove him partially insane, especially Harry.
“Do you know what Sherlock is doing for Christmas?” Sara asked.
“No, it didn’t really come up.” John shrugged.
“I doubt you guys talked at all.” Greg snickered. John smiled guiltily.
“Maybe he can come to your house and meet your parents, get permission and all that.” Mike suggested.
“Permission?” John asked.
“Ya, you know how you always have to get permission to have a serious relationship with someone, I think it would only be polite if he got permission.”
“How would that go, hi, I’m your son’s Professor, but I’m also in a relationship with him, is that okay?” John imitated.
“Well don’t say it like that, twist it a little, tell them he’s in your year or something.” Sara suggested.
“So I’m supposed to lie to my parents then?”
“Twist the truth.” Greg corrected.
“What would they say anyway, do they have any idea?” Mike asked.
“Unless I don’t remember it, no, I don’t think they know he exists.” John shrugged.
“Do you think they’ll be okay with it?” Sara asked.
“Well, ya, I guess so, I don’t see anything they wouldn’t approve.”
“If not, you two better run away together, because I will not let you two break up, you’re perfect for each other.” Sara decided. John laughed, blushing slightly, but she was right, nothing as stupid as a parent’s rejection would split them up. But he was pretty sure his parents would be okay with it, as long as he was happy right? That should be a parent motto by now.
“How about his parents, do you think they’d approve of you?” Greg asked.
“What’s not to love?” Sara laughed.
“Well, I have no idea who they are or what they’re like, but I think I’m okay, just use the parent charm you know?” John planned.
“If Sherlock was as much of a loser as he said, then I think they’d be happy just to know he found someone.” Mike said.
“That’s a little bit harsh.” Sara said.
“Well, it’s true.” Mike defended.
“I hope they like me, because they won’t get rid of me so easily.” John laughed. “You guys need relationships, it’s always me and Sherlock, how are you and Molly?” John asked Greg.
“We haven’t talked, so I’m guessing we silently broke up.” Greg shrugged.
“There is a reason we only talk about you two, you guys have the most interesting relationship.” Sara shrugged, as if that was a simple answer.
“How is it complicated?” John asked.
“Well, it’s a secret, forbidden gay love, it’s perfect.” Sara said with a smile.
“If you put it that way it just sounds like a cheesy vampire romance novel.”
“This one is a werewolf one though.” Greg pointed out. John froze, looking Greg straight in the eyes.
“It’s a what?” John asked, his voice shaking slightly. How could Greg ever know about that, he’s never told anyone but his parents. Greg looked guilty, and his friends looked awkward, like deer in the headlights.
“I forgot about that, you told us about your, um, situation, before your memory was wiped.” Greg said. John looked at them in amazement, all this time they had known and never said a thing? But they hadn’t left him, or treated him any differently, a bonus for forgetting the pressure he had put on himself by actually telling them.
“Sherlock had this potion, the Wolfsbane potion, it makes you turn into a whimpering wolf, you don’t attack anyone, you just hide under tables like you’re scared of everything.” Mike added. John smiled wider than he ever remembered.
“You mean I don’t have to worry about killing anyone anymore?” John asked hopefully.
“Not anymore, you’ve got a good boyfriend.” Sara agreed. John could sing, even though he was rubbish at singing, it was like an enormous weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He had no idea there was actually such a thing as a potion like that, which sounded too good to be true. He had lived his life terrified that he would find a body somewhere in the woods, mauled by an animal, that was, of course, him. Now all he had to do was get through the painful change and disappear when the full moon came. But now his friends know, it made it a thousand times easier.
“Ya, he lets you stay in his office overnight, so you don’t have to suffer in the cold.” Mike added. There’s a bit of a complication, his robes rip to shreds when he changes, when he’s a wolf it’s no big deal, but if he changes back and he’s on the floor or something, that would be the most awkward and embarrassing thing, not exactly worth the convenience of an office. He’d work through that complication another time though. 
“That’s perfect.” John decided, a relief he thought he’d never feel flooding him. The sun had already gone down; since it was winter it set a lot earlier. John was exhausted, so he said goodnight to his friends and headed up to the dorms. It was quiet up there, the noise of the common room blocked out by the heavy wooden door he swung closed. He noticed the bunch of long past dead and rotten roses sitting on the window sill, maybe now would be the time to finally dispose of them, since they didn’t exactly brighten up the room. He tried to remember any spell that could bring back life to plants, but since there was a gap in his memory he couldn’t think of one. He decided that could be dealt with tomorrow, and quickly changed into his pajamas, climbing into his bed. It seemed to now be a tradition that he was the first person in the dorms falling asleep; he wondered why it was always so empty. But he didn’t have long to think about it, because before he knew it he was fast asleep.