IDK Whatever

Short Story 1: The Teacher's Pet

As I lay down on the table at Wendy's I wonder why I didn't quit sooner. I still eat here, and I always make sure to order the most complex things and custom burgers, salads, and so on. I dont care if they spit on my food, the hatred tastes good. Besides this is the only place that serves eat horse meat, literally. 

My friend walks in grabbing my legs and pulls me off the table, the bruise on my head will probably last a month.

"Hey Carmencita, here for the HORSE MEAT" I yell.

"By the way I am not stopping at your house for a honeybooboo marathon" she responds ignoring me

"I'd rather poop myself" she continues

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As I stare at myself in the mirror my hair looks like dehydrated poop. Why did I decide on dreads? I try to wax it up but then I just look like a hedgehog covered in poop. My parents burst in while I"m naked in the shower...my parents are cats by the way.

"Hi mom, hi dad...can't you wait till I'm done?" I say

"Meow" they say

"Hey don't use that language, or I'll spray the faucet at you" I yell

They run away, parents amaright??? 

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So I go to school. I have a crush on the guy who sits in front of me. He is an aber crombie and fitch model, I see him standing topless in front of the store. Yum, I want horsemeat. He's also the teacher but I know its not his true calling. 

I think we could be together if I didn't blame him for my farts so often. When I did that at his workplace it got real awkward between him and his boss.

I decide to ask him to lunch today but he just gave me more homework instead. He wants me. I'm pretty smart I have a C+ average. Go me! I take a peak at his earlobes. They are so round and perfect, I wish I could caress them. Ew no that's gross, looking at them is fine.

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I wake up, oh god I thought that was all real! No no no, that isn't me! I am your average college student, average height, no poop looking hair, my parents are human! I do have a crush on the teacher though, his name is Vance....

so she gets drunk and makes out with the teacher unknowingly but the teacher is drunk but he doesnt realize it either. The age gap is like omg he is taking her innocence so reader are like OMG and I write this and I'm like lolololol. Any waaaaays, so the teacher and student be like I think its you and then they realize it is but the teacher is in denial and starts to ignore the student and then the student is in danger somehow maybe creepers at the bar in an alleyway and the teacher punches everyone like a manly man and rescues her. She is all traumatized and he takes her home with him by the morning she doesnt realize where she is, too drunk to remember, thinks she slept with the teacher so runs out before she gets a proper explanation. Readers be like noooo, talk to him. Any ways so then the student ignore the teacher its all twisted now omg. But eventually she learns the truth and apoligizes/thanks him. The teacher finds out he likes the stuent because he didnt like being ignored by her. Then they get into a secret relationship. Some random evil girl character blackmails them because that usually happens in these type of stories. We probably need a love triangle too.how about like the dean and he is crazy sexy too. Lets make him a pervert instead and he leads the student into his office to ask about her relationship but actually to sleep with her or he will fire the teacher. She is all confused and freaked out and drops out of college and becomes poor and becomes a hobo because her parents are disappointed that she dropped out of college and she becomes a surfer that says "totally". There was also a time where the teacher stood up for her in class or something. Anyways so the teacher starts surfing and takes lessons and the teacher is actually the girl and now the girl is the instructor lol and while surfing they get knocked out by a wave and stranded on an island and get married on the island by a penguin who reminded them of a pastor so it was official to them and they had three kids who learned all about surving on the island. Eventually they are rescued but the parents decide to stay on the island while the kids live their life somewhere else. 

The end