help - bakutodo

three - murderer

Todoroki's POV

I'm sitting in my chair at the back of the classroom, like usual. This morning, Recovery Girl and the other nurses had given me the 'all-clear' and I was allowed to go back to my classes. I say 'back' like I've missed weeks worth of work when in reality, the attack happened last night and I'm already back in school, so I haven't missed any work.

Not like that matters anyway — I can't bloody focus. My eyes keep drifting over to the scowling ash-blonde who sits a few seats ahead of me. He hasn't said anything to me since our conversation last night and he completely avoided me when I entered the class earlier... he definitely hates me. Great. Just great! Not only is my family a huge mess but now the guy who I might actually like is avoiding me. I just had to run into him looking like a weak, pathetic, vulnerable mess and then I told him how much hearing Touya's voice affected me — I just blurted out my feelings and I expected him to understand?! I'm still surprised he didn't just run away in utter disgust and fear. After all, my own mother did so why wouldn't he?

And now, I've ruined what little friendship we had. Great.

"Pssst, Todoroki!" someone whispers my name, bringing me back to reality. I turn around, dazed, and see Yaoyorozu looking at me with wide eyes. "Are you alright?" she asks. "You're making everything cold!"

I blink slowly then realise that the air around me has small snowflakes levitating and I've iced up the pen I was holding. "S-sorry." I stammer, as I heat up my left side to warm the air back to room temperature. "And I'm fine, thanks for asking."

She smiled warmly at me. "If you ever need anything, you know I'm here."

I nod to her then turn to face the board, where Ectoplasm is going over some algebraic equations. I check the clock on the wall — almost lunch. I haven't been paying attention in any classes this morning but luckily Aizawa is sleeping in the corner, in his yellow sleeping bag, so he didn't notice.

I stare at Bakugo for the rest of class, mentally kicking myself for messing things up with him, when the bell rings. Finally! Lunch, then solo training, then I can get back to the dorms. I start picking my stuff up when Aizawa walks over to me.

"Can we talk for a little bit?" He asks in hushed tones but it's more of a demand than a question. I nod and he walks back to his desk. I continue packing away and watch as everyone leaves the classroom. Bakugo is the last to go but he doesn't even look my way. I sigh quietly and walk over to Aizawa.

He speaks first, sounding genuinely concerned, "How are you feeling today?"

I sigh and reply in my usual calm voice, "I'm alright. Still a bit tired though."

"I'm glad you weren't badly hurt. Anyway, the private investigators we have working on this case found burn marks on the ground in the area you said the attack happened. Do you remember fire? Or was it your own?"

I gulp. "I-it wasn't my own. Unless the attacker had two quirks, there must've been another villain there who could make blue flames. At first my ice wasn't effective until I made that large ice spike which broke through the box quirk."

"Hmm. You see, there's been numerous cases of new heroes bodies being found in dark alleyways, burnt almost to a crisp. We believe that there's one villain who is doing all this, and the police are trying to find out what those small heroes have in common. This may be the same villain who attacked you."

I felt a shiver run down my spine. If the voice was telling the truth, and this blue-flames villain is Touya... then Touya is also a murderer?! No, no way! Touya would never hurt anyone. He hated our father so much, always saying that it wasn't right for a large, strong man to beat me and mum, who were innocent and small. Killing innocent heroes does not meet his ideals! Oh god, please please please let that villain be lying.

"I-i... um..." I stammer, not knowing what to say.

Aizawa places a hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eyes. "Todoroki, it will be okay. For now, we advise you not to leave UA grounds unless constantly supervised, in case the villains attack again. They've killed innocent heroes and traumatised you — I promise the police and I will find out who it was and lock them up for good."

I nod shakily and try to plaster a fake smile onto my face. I'm pretty sure it fails but Aizawa just nods and tells me to go and eat some lunch. Even though I've now lost my appetite, I comply, feeling too tired to do anything else.

Please. Don't let Touya be a murderer...

I get to the canteen and take a plate of soba. I think I see Midoriya, Uraraka and Iida sitting at a table together out of the corner of my eye but I'm really not in the mood to be around people. I shakily make my way over to an empty seat at an empty table, avoiding eye contact with everyone. I sit down and stare at my soba. It cold, just how I like it, but I can't bring myself to eat anything. My arm is too heavy. My mind is too cluttered.

Fuyumi... Natsuo... are they okay?
Touya is a villain now... look what you did to him, father!
Bakugo hates me...
I'm weak. He always told me I'm weak and he was right!
What if we did get revenge...?
No! What the fuck? Those are the words of a villain, ignore them Shoto!

These thoughts race through my mind, each one getting louder and louder, until I can't take it anymore. I dig my head into my hands, gripping onto my hair as if that will make these thoughts go away. I want to scream but I keep it in — no one needs to know how messy my mind is.

I quickly look back up at my plate, composing myself. I take the chopsticks and start eating. I force cold soba down my throat; I'm going to train hard today, I fucking deserve it for being this weak, so I need fuel.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Bakugo sitting down at a table to my right. with Kirishima, Sero, Kaminari and Ashido. As he starts eating, he looks my way. I rapidly look back down at my food but I can feel his stare drilling into my head. Or maybe I'm just freaking out and imagining it. There's only one way to find ou- no, I'm not looking at him. I can't. I'd probably start crying. Or screaming. Or both. I don't know, I've never been in this situation before...

As soon as I'm done, I head straight for the training hall, without looking at Bakugo. I arrive earlier than everyone else but Aizawa is already there, chatting to Cementos. I quickly get changed into the UA sports kit in the male changing rooms, shoving my school uniform into a locker, then walk back out and over to the two teachers.

"Is it alright if I start training now?" I ask.

Aizawa shrugs and Cementos places a hand on the ground, manipulating the cement to create dozens of towers. I thank him and run to the back of the room. I hear Aizawa call my name so I turn back around but I find out that it wasn't my teacher who called my name...

It was Bakugo.

He's standing near the middle of hall, which is about 200 metres away from me, still in his school uniform. Did he follow me here as soon as he finished his lunch? No, of course not. But then, why is he here- No! Just focus on training!

I turn away from him and make some ice to lift myself on top of one of the tallest pillars. There's no explosions, so Bakugo definitely hasn't followed me up here. I breathe a shaky sigh of relief. I'm glad because I don't want to deal with rejection right now but... it still kind of hurts.

Up here, alone, I train for the next two hours. I make large amounts of ice and fire simultaneously until my heart is racing, I'm struggling to breathe and my face is coated in layers of sweat. Not the hardcore punishment Endeavour would have given me if I was home but...

I feel slightly less weak now.
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[1461 words]
—i promise there's todobaku coming next chapter ;)