Who am I as a lover???

My Heart

I'm pau, and I'm the kind of person who loves too much
The only problem when i fall in love is I get too attached
They said, Guard yourself and be mindful, don't let your heart get crushed
It's not a one way relationship , both of us needs to adjust.

Most of the time i hate myself for being like this
But the love inside me is overwhelming, i just can't resist
Maybe it's normal for me to feel this way, same like immense bliss
But pau, it's wrong, being present too much can only make him pissed.

Now i'm afraid to love excessively
Every little thing i do is wrong, i can just feel it to the highest degree.
I'm just sad because he can't understand how it feels to be me
And the only thing i wanted to do is isolate myself in the middle of the sea.

I was lost and don't know where to go
I have mistakes and shortcomings, these things i Know
Insecurities and flaws are the reason why i can't grow
But the love that i have is the only precious thing that i can show.

Boom!! I was shocked, it felt like a hit and run
I was standing alone trying to fully understand
All i can think of  is they'll just play with me and leave me, because they said they're just a man.
You don't know how it feels like to be kicked and be thrown in a trash can.

I don't know why you can just leave me like nothing happened
Now, people will just stare at me and will start laughing
They'll be thinking that i'm the kind of guy that's always lacking
I'm pitiful, and begging for love, that's what they'll be thinking

I'm not generalizing that every man is like that
All i am saying is that when you love someone make sure you'll not treat them like crap
I'm in pain, i'm restless, don't just leave me like that
Give me more time i'll endure the pain until my love line get's flat.

If  You just don't know how to handle my heart
Just be true to yourself and just play your part
Rather than making  me feel your love but in the end you'll just tore me apart
Get lost my friend, i'll just make a brand new start

I saw it coming, i've been stupid, it's too late,
My heart is broken i did not guard it, i should have listened, check mate.
Now all i need to do is accept the fact and lessen the weight
But man, we're talking about my heart, it's not a game and i'm not your play mate.

Honestly, for now, it's hard to forgive
But who am i to deprive you with forgiveness, i've loved you and still love you, that's the reason why i give.
One thing i've learned is to move on and live
I don't want anyone to feel this pain, a kind of pain that no one should receive.

I realized that It's better to be alone than to love someone
I feel like the only person who you should trust, love, and give your time is your loved ones
Keeping it in mind will surely and always  feel like a home run
Let's forget it, forget what we have, that's better, i'm done

It's not a mistake that i've loved you
It's not even a mistake that i cared for you
I was just too focused whenever i'm around you
That i forget everything , that's what i need to undo.

My God, forgive me,
loving myself first is hard, it's not that easy
Nothing's complicated just think about the Almighty
Everything will be okay, trust Him, it will just be a cup of tea.

Oh Lord God, You're the author of everything
I was looking from afar but noticed that it's from within
Help me get out of this pain, fill me with the  joy you bring
I accepted you as my God, now i know what's the real meaning.