ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ // ᴊ.ꜰ.

♡ 17 ♡

"John, I don't need another argument with you. Go away." I say, jerking my arm out of his grip.

He looks hurt, and rubs the back of his neck. "I'm not arguing with you. I'm also not leaving." He says.

"You... you're not mad?"

He shrugs. "I guess not. I get why you did it. I think it was really brave of you, actually."

I stare at the floor, trying to hide the fact that I'm about to burst into tears. "I'm not brave. Far from it."

He steps a little closer. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You've gone through so much this year, you're one of the bravest people I know."

I look up at him and smile. Much to my embarrassment, he's got nothing on except short and suspenders, and his fiery red hair is dangling across his face. There's no distance between us now; we're practically touching.

For a while we hang there; him staring at me and me trying desperately to resist the urge to kiss him. Again.

I tried so hard to push that memory away... now it's all flooding back.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

"I... I haven't always been completely honest with you, Natasha." He says in a low voice.

I furrow my brow. "What do you mean?"

He licks his lips and I feel his grip on me tighten, this time with both hands at my waist. "John, you're freaking me out."

He steps back and lets go. "I'm so sorry, I don't mean to frighten you. It's just really hard to say..."

"Say what you have to say. I don't care anymore."

He sighs, hanging his head slightly but then looking up at me, with those big, beautiful brown eyes...

"Do you remember when we met? When I was... really aggressive towards you?" He says quietly.

That was an awful day but I have to force myself not to laugh a little. "How could I forget?"

"I acted that way because...not only was it a really difficult time in my life but... on that day the universe gave me a blessing. And I knew that from the second our eyes met. You were that blessing, Natasha."

In that moment, everything becomes a blur. I'm so confused but... somehow it seems to make sense.

But that kiss... that didn't mean anything. It was a mistake and we both knew it.

"Well say something!" He pleads. I've never seen this side of his personality, it's so startling. I thought this boy wanted me dead.

"John... you're a fucking idiot," I say, stepping closer, "for thinking that I haven't loved you since that very day."

He smiles the widest smile I've ever seen and places a hand on my cheek. "Do you really mean that, beautiful?"

I blush and lean into his hand. "I've never been more serious in my entire life."

He closes his eyes and presses his forehead against mine. I take his hand and grip it with my life.

His lips meet mine and I almost melt in his embrace. This kiss is even more magical than the first.

Although it's the last thing I want, he pulls away.

"God, what have we done to each other?" He laughs.

Before I can reply, we both hear someone calling John's name.

"Fuck, you better go. The show's about to start." I say, although I'm still holding his hand.

He sighs. "You don't have to go home, you know. Besides... I have to figure out how I'm gonna tell Toni."

Fuck. I had forgotten about that. I've single-handedly ruined the relationship of the only female friend I've had in years.

"Hey, hey," he says, lifting my chin, his eyes meeting mine, "this isn't your fault. We've been on the verge of a breakup for years."

"Oh... she never told me."

He sighs. "She didn't tell you a lot of things."

I press my head into his chest. All I want is for him to hold me a little longer. "I have to go back. The tour's nearly over, right? I'll wait for you."

He smiles and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "Will you be able to cope with her there?"

"I think so. Don't worry about me, just play your heart out and come home safely." I smile.

"That's easier said than done. I can't stand being away from you now."

I giggle. "That's so corny. Just call me whenever you can."

"No." he sighs, "she'll wonder why I keep calling you. I could write to you... she never checks the mailbox."

"That seems risky."

"It's not. If she finds out, I'll explain everything. Until then, we have to wait. I can't break up with her while I'm away. I'll write you letters every week. It'll be romantic." He grins.

There are so many flaws in his plan, but I'm so desperate for his love that I just nod my head and smile.

We hear his name being called again. At this point, I'm nearly in tears but he gives me a tight hug and kisses me on the forehead. "I finally have you all to myself. I love you."

"I love you too. Stay safe."

He lets go. Backing away, he places his hand over his heart, mouthing the words 'I love you' before turning around and running back down the dark backstage passageway. And once again, I am alone.

-

TBC...