We Could Have Been

Chapter Twenty-Two

Kung mayroon man isang siguradong bagay ako tungkol kay Constantine, iyon ay kilala ko na ito. I knew his guts, his wits, his demure, his personality, his bad-ass cruel characteristics.

Pero... ilang taon na nga ba kaming magkakilala? Days? Weeks? Months?

The real question is... Do I?

Today was a no-brainer for me. Today was shattering everything I thought I knew. Parang sinasampal ako. It was a painful truth that if there's really one thing I don't know about him...

it is that, I really don't know him. At all.

Napaatras ako. ''S-stan...''

I saw how he exquisitely laughed. Like always. Like he had mastered it already. ''Why are...you...scared?''

Ako? Takot? I wasn't scared! I was shocked! There was a difference.

Pero walang boses na lumalabas sa bibig ko. Hindi ko pa din ito masabi sa harapan niya. I still felt overwhelmed.

I did not expect it from Stan. He liked playing games... he liked surprising me, yes. But this one was way different. Gusto niya akong halikan! Shit... gusto niya akong halikan!?

He was wanting to kiss me and say it like it was an honest, eager, raw truth? How could I!? Papaanong hindi ako matutuliro!?

Kasabay nang pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko ang malakas na dagundong ng speaker. Everyone was starting to cheer and went on the dance floor. Kami ni Stan? Nanatili lang kaming nagtitigan.

Hindi pa din ako nagsasalita. My brain was battling with my heart. It passed a minute already but I could still hear Stan's words lingering in my head... trying to outrun my patience.

Hindi ako sigurado sa susunod kong desisyon. Hahakbang pa ako paalis? Tatakbo ako palayo?

Shit. This was starting to confuse me.

''Ares...'' his ragged breathing exhaust me. "this is the reason why I don't wanna be honest with you.'' he said. Kumunot na naman ang noo ko.

H-huh?

I wasn't sure if I depicted his face reaction. He just... painfully smirked at me. Ewan ko. Parang kumirot ang puso ko dahil doon.

Bago ko pa malaman ay nakita ko na ang paggewang nito. Lalakad palang ako sa posisyon nito nang makita ko si Adam. He was already guarding Stan's arms.

Napahinga ako nang maluwag. Mas gumaan pa ang pakiramdam ko nang dumating na 'yung bouncer na pinatawag ko sa kaniya.. 

''Shit, Sanchez! Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo?'' Tanong ni Adam, nakasukbit na ang braso nito sa balikat ni Adam. Pero hindi na ito makasagot. Dahil tuluyan na itong nakatulog. 

Adam and the bouncer were talking already. I went nearer them. 

Tinitignan ko si Adam. ''Do you know his place?''

Mabilis na naman itong tumango. Hindi na ako nagsalita pagkatapos at bumaba na kami papunta sa parking lot. I went inside after Adam and the bouncer both lifted Stan and guided him to the car. Nagpasalamat kami bago ito umalis. And then, we revved the engine.

I was at the back seat with, no other than, Stan. Si Adam naman 'yung nagmamaneho. 

Tinitigan ko ang siraulong si Stan. Naka-angat ang ulo nito habang mahimbing na natutulog. He looked... so kind and comforting. Mas nakikita ko kung gaano ito ka-gwapo sa malapitan at habang nakapikit.

Ano ba kasing meron sa utak nito at bigla nalang nag-inom sa araw na may klase siya?

Bigla ko tuloy naaalala 'yung sinabi niya kanina. He wanted to kiss me. I mentally shook my head by the thought that was bound to absorb me.