We Could Have Been

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Nag-usap muna kami ni Benedict bago ako tuluyang pumasok sa klase. He explained his side. 'Yung rason kung bakit hindi siya makatawag. He said, he couldn't contact me because he was always needed at the business. The three days were packed of schedules. Palagi siyang may kailangan kausapin, palagi daw siyang may kailangang gawin.

He had no choice. He said the only thing he could do was to follow. Everything.

Kaya noong nangyari ang nangyari, hindi niya din alam. 

He confronted me. ''I can't tell you right away, Ares. Because... kahit ako, hindi ko alam ang nangyari. And I wanted to make sure before I tell you that. I wanted to assure myself that I did nothing wrong...''

Pinisil ko ang kamay nito para kumalma siya. I could see how depressed he was while talking to me. I felt so guilty that I chose to lean on my side than hearing him thoroughly

''Ben...''

''Because, I can't lose you. You are the reason why I'm doing this. I won't hope for another day if that means losing you. Mababaliw ako, Ares...''

My heart flapped in just an instant. Benedict had still that effect on me. I couldn't give this guy up. I just... couldn't.

Sabay kaming pumasok ni Ben. We just had to go separate ways when we were already at the campus. Maraming tao kaya wala naman masyadong nakakapansin.

To tell the truth, I wasn't really happy. But I had a comfortable and relieved feeling. Maayos na ulit kami ni Ben. Hindi ko nakakalimutan na may nangyari sa kanila ni Diana. I didn't wanna pretend that it was definitely alright... but I didn't want an ounce of regret. Lalo na kung ang relasyon na namin ang pinag-uusapan. 

Mahal ko si Benedict. He was the guy that can be trusted. I knew that for two long years of being with him. Hindi dahil sa isang pagkakamali lang ay iiwan ko na siya. I didn't want this relationship to sink.

He said an explanation and it was valid enough for me to accept. I just hoped that he would not waste the chance that I gave him.

''I love you...'' sabi nito bago tuluyang kumawala sa mahigpit na yakap sa akin. I missed him... if only I could, I would not attend the class. Pero hindi pwede. Bakit kasi ako nagmukmok nang matagal!?

Hindi matanggal ang ngiti ko hanggang sa makapasok ako sa campus. Nagulat ako nang makita ko ang pagiging busy ng lahat. I looked upon the crowd on the field, they were doing something.

I looked at the date on my phone's calendar. What's with today?

Maglalakad palang ako nang mabasa ko na ang tarpaulin sa building ng Foreign Service. Yes, it was also Stan's building. Foreign Service Booth Fair was written on it. Napatango ako nang maalala ko ang month na ito.

I hope Stan would be very busy. Wala akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanya. I was relieved that he hadn't contacted me after... after what happened at his condo.

I mean, kakabati lang namin ni Ben. I wanted to take things slowly before I finish another issue with Stan. Sa ngayon, gusto ko munang maging masaya ulit. 

Pagpasok ko sa room ay kaagad kong nakita si Diana. My head was trying to concentrate. I was hoping she'd tell me what happened before... with Ben. And I was ready. Prepared ako sa kung anuman ang mga sasabihin niya.

Pero nagulat ako nang hindi ito ang unang lumabas sa bibig niya.

''Have you seen tarpaulins outside? Today's the Foreign Service Booth Fair.'' she told me. I blinked for a few times before I kept up my pace. Tumango ako bilang sagot sa kanya.