dogfight : reddie

hey good lookin'

searched the whole world through, looking for you

the three split their separate ways, loads of women along the street and in the bars. 

ben stopped along the sidewalk, seeing a woman with a crooked nose. he looked her up and down, deciding she was ugly enough.

"hey good-looking, aren't you just gorgeous!" he greeted her, watching as she turned her head to expose a very wrinkled face. "i just had to stop and say hello," he added, her expression disgusted. she kept walking, speeding up to pass ben. ben sighed, giving up.

bill was in a bar, sipping his beer and checking out the place when he saw a man with horrible facial hair. he walked up to him, sitting down in the chair across from the man. 

"what do you want?" the man's voice was raspy and deep, and bill held in a snicker.

"whatcha doin' tonight? c-cuh-can i take y-y-y-you out?" it was hard for bill to take himself seriously, but he was doing alright. the man, thoroughly grossed out, shook his head.

"c'mon, d-duh-don't do it for me, do it for your country!" bill saluted and winked, but the man continued to shake his head. bill's face expression stayed the same, but he blinked rapidly, disappointed. he got up and moved on.

connor was wandering the streets as well, coming across a hispanic woman with very mismatched eyes. he walked over, standing next to her at her bus stop. 

"hoo baby! how's about a date?" he asked, noticing the woman looked at him with barely any comprehension. he wracked his brain and smirked, "dondé está la biblioteca?" in response, he got an eye roll. she continued to ignore him. 

connor scratched the back of his neck, and once sure she wouldn't respond, he simply walked away. 

mike was in the church down the street, where he saw a woman with a shaved head and a lopsided face. he wandered up, "i can't believe this...

"it's a miracle, i prayed for you, and here you are. you're everything i want in a girl!" he put it on thick, his voice sympathetic and overly sweet. the girl turned around and mike put on his best puppy dog eyes. she got up and walked away, out of the church.

"hey! where you running off to?" he called after her, sighing deeply.

richie found himself on a bench, next to a boy with a very round face and physique. he was reading a newspaper, and richie nudged it, trying to get his attention. he was clearly uncomfortable, but looked up at richie anyway.

"where's your wife?" richie asked, the boy getting more and more awkward. 

"i don't have a wife." he replied, his voice frog like. 

"husband?" richie put an arm behind him on the bench, raising an eyebrow.

"no."

"fiancé?" 

"not engaged."

"you got a girlfriend?"

"nu-huh"

"boyfriend?" 

"no,"

richie smirked, "you mean a pretty thing like you doesn't have a spouse, isn't engaged, and doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend? my name's richie tozier. whaddya say--hey!" the boy had gotten up and started to walk away. 

"where you going?" richie got no response, and he leaned back on the bench, his ego hurt. 

will took a different approach, letting people come to him. having rejected a couple nice looking people, he was waiting for the ugly ones.

"hey, tot, aren't you cute.." a man about 60 looked over at will. will's eyes widened. the man was... not attractive, to put it nicely. will tried his best to flirt back, 

"uh.. hi there," he wasn't the best at flirting. especially with old men who made him uncomfortable. 

"can i buy you a drink, sweet thang?" will decided it wasn't worth getting molested to win a pot of cash. 

"here," will put cash on the table for the bartender and left, ignoring the man's questions. 

ben sat at a table with a woman whose face was very blotchy. they talked smoothly, the woman looking a little weirded out.

"so there i am, having lunch with timothee chalamet..." ben bragged about situations that most definitely had not happened. 

"no way, really?" ben nodded at the woman, whose jaw was left open. 

"uh huh and then we talked about the movies he's been in." ben continued, rattling on.

"what's his favourite role to play?" the woman asked, ben internally panicking.

"well, i think he said he really enjoyed that, uh, role in that sci-fi show, the one with the teens?" once again, ben had guessed wrong, judging by the look on the woman's face.

"stranger things?" she asked, her lips pursed. ben nodded, and she sighed. without saying anything, she got up and left the table. ben put his head on the table, "fuck."

bill smoked a cigarette on the corner of the street, next to a boy who glared at him.

"so? whaddya say? you c-cuh-comin' or what?" bill sighed, defeated and exasperated.

"gimme that," the boy took the cigarette from bill and took a drag. the two of them seemed to already know each other. 

"look, stanley, i got one thing on my m-m-mind tonight, and it's winning that p-puh-prize." bill said, exhaling cigarette smoke. 

"what kinda food they got at this place?" stanley asked, giving him back the cigarette. 

"who c-cuh-cares? did i guarantee you mac and cheese? you cuh-come along, you get fifty b-buh-buh-bu-fifty dollars." bill turned to stan, who was thinking about it. stan wasn't specifically ugly, but he wasn't cute by most standards. straw thin hair, big under eye circles, acne, and a long face.

"if i gotta put up with you all night, i'm gonna need more than fifty bucks. i do better business down at the clubs, and they buy me flowers." stan leaned back against the wall as he spoke, crossing his arms.

"all right, you win m-muh-me that prize: i'll give you seventy-five." bill was exasperated.

"man seventy five? chump change." stan sighed.

"okay, okay. eighty bucks. and it's our secret. you t-tuh-tell anyone you're a prostitute, i'm fucked. no, we're fucked. so kuh-keep your trap shut." bill threatened, stan nodding.

"sorry, bill, how many boys do you know that would do this for you? i deserve half."

"half? are you insane? you think you're w-w-w-w-wuh-wuhr-worth half the pot?" bill scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

"i know i am. i can guarantee i'll win." stan said confidently, looking bill up and down. 

"oh yeah? and how c-cuh-can you do that?" bill watched in awe as stan reached his hand in his mouth, removing his retainer, and therefore removing two front teeth. bill thought for a second. 

laughing, he whoops into the air and nudges stan with his elbow, who grins and puts his retainer back in. 

"half the money, right?" 

"you got it."