Home Sweet Home 2

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"This isn't my fault Beyoncé..."

"Then who's is it Onika?" Beyoncé stood above her in their home office, eyes beet red evident of tears, the pain was clear as day in her voice.

"Because you say it isn't my fault you say it isn't your fault then what the fuck are we doing?"

Onika deeply sighed lowering her face into her palms rubbing it as she felt a migraine coming on.

"You sit here elbows deep in your fucking work every single day, it's work, work, work, work this work that-"

"Bey you know how important it is for us to close this deal right now."

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry. The deal, right." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "So that's why you don't come to bed till well after I'm sleep? That why you're gone before I wake up? Is that why you ignore my phone calls? Is that why we don't speak when you get home? Not even to say 'hello how was your day?' Huh Onika? Is that why I feel like I'm completely alone raising two daughters Onika, because of this fucking deal?"

"What do you want me to say Beyoncé." Onika huffed through flared nostrils. Her temper seemed to be getting shorter and shorter lately. She could feel her nerves unraveling by the minute.

"I want you to be honest with me! Tell the fucking truth about why you're avoiding me Onika!"

"You want me to say it's because you miscarried!?Huh? Is that what the fuck you want!?!" She finally exploded standing from her seat. "Fine, I avoid you because it's hard Beyoncé! I avoid you because when I look at you I see you on the bathroom floor sitting in your own blood half conscious losing our child! I avoid you because I get angry when I look at you! I get so fucking angry and I HATE that I feel that way about you but for some reason I can't seem to stop myself from feeling it! I avoid you Beyoncé because you lost our child and I haven't figured out how to deal with those emotions yet without blaming you for it!"

The room grew eerily silent despite Onika's heaving.

As soon as the words left her mouth she wished she could take them back.

Beyoncé's eyes brimmed with tears as she nodded her head.

"Wait, Bey I didn't-"

"Fuck you Onika." Beyoncé spat turning to leave.

She desperately caught the crook of her arm. "Baby wait-"

Beyoncé snatched it away coldly turning back to her.

"You said what you said don't take that shit back now. Be a fucking woman and own it, but don't ever fix your lips to speak to me ever again."

Onika couldn't believe the genuine disgust that lie behind Beyoncé's eyes.

"Bey I've been so stressed baby we never dealt with this in a healthy way-"

"I want a divorce." Her voice was cold.

Onika's eyes widened, she was losing her grasp on this situation with every passing second and now tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she felt her heart hammering in her chest.

"You don't mean that..." she spoke breathlessly shaking her head.

"No I meant exactly what I said, just like you did. I knew you blamed me, I fucking knew it," her bottom lip quivered as she struggled to speak clearly, "I wanted to be wrong so bad but-" She stopped herself shaking her head before she got choked up.

"I want a divorce." She repeated, this time turning and leaving the study closing the door behind her not giving Onika a chance to respond.

Onika sat frozen staring at the door. Everything felt numb, except for her chest. Her chest burned, like she'd been shot right through the heart the searing pain radiating slowly yet intense throughout the rest of her being.

Her own words haunted her, they had been the ammunition that killed what was left of their relationship. She knew there was no coming back from this. She knew the miscarriage wasn't her fault yet she couldn't help her feelings. But despite her feelings she wasn't justified in saying what she said even if it was true, not like that, and seeing the hate her wife's eyes held destroyed her.

The realization of what she'd just effectively done manifested in her slamming her fist down into the glass topper of her desk shattering it.

The blood seeping between her knuckles only moistened her palm as she felt nothing. She could only feel pain in one place at that moment, and she truly believed she was going to die.
******
Present

Onika lay on her side gazing up at the ceiling. She'd been awake for about an hour, a gentle blue glow was beginning to peak from behind the white curtains, the sun was rising soon.

Her hand gently rubbing circles on Beyoncé's hip was muscle memory that hadn't left her even after three years of being apart.

She suddenly stirred beside her. Onika halted the motion, waiting for Beyoncé to realize what they'd done and be ashamed, disappointed.

But that didn't happen.

She could hear Beyoncé's breath escape her through a yawn before she rolled over. She tangled her legs into Onika's before sliding an arm snugly around her waist and nuzzling her head into the top of her warm breasts. She sighed contently.

Onika now allowed her hand to settle in the small of her back.

"Bey..."

"Hm?"

Onika hesitated still feeling apprehensive.

"Yes?" Beyoncé mumbled still awaiting a response.

"Do you know where you are right now?" She questioned carefully. She very well could've thought what happened was a dream, and she actually lie in the arms of her current lover.

"Yes... Onika." She answered softly.

They lay silently for a long while holding each other, tracing old scars they knew the stories of, scooting closer every so often in an attempt to be even closer, to feel one another's soul.

This was peace, the both of them knew they could never find this in anyone else, but there was still so much that had been left unsaid. So much damage that went unattended, too much baggage to simply ignore.

"Beyoncé, I love you. I'm in love with you. I could never even begin to love somebody the way that I do you... but what I said last night wasn't fair. You were vulnerable, I know that you still love me and I took advantage of the moment. It was wrong of me, it was selfish. Do I want to be with you? More than I want oxygen in my lungs. But there are things we have to address first, things I don't think you or I have healed correctly from. I don't want you to make this decision because of what we did last night. If you come back to me I want it to because you've thought about it, you've considered everything and decided it's what you actually want."

They continued to hold each other comfortably, Beyoncé never figured out how to respond.
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Okay this either would've been reeeeeeeaaallyyyy short or reeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllyyyyyyy long, so I just decided to chop it and make it a 3 shot 🥴

Talk to me folks,

So we know why the divorced now 😞

Was Nicki wrong for what she said even if that's how she felt :/

Do you blame Bey for leaving? What would you do?

Now that we have a little more insight what do you think Beyoncé is going to do? 👀👀👀

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