The Unexpected Path

Chapter 24 - Olivia

There are two things that I undoubtedly know to be constant.

The first are stars. Whether we can see them or not, they are always there. Even when the sky is bright and the sun in shining the stars are still there. They stay in the sky until they eventually burn out but no matter what, they're constant.

The second, as I've come to learn, is my love for Lucas. No matter what I convinced myself of over the past four years, whether it was to hate him or be dead to him, it didn't change the fact that I've never stopped loving him. Not once. From the moment I was born, I was also his.

When I was just a day old and my aunts and uncles came to visit Mom in the hospital, three-year-old Lucas climbed onto the hospital bed and demanded that Mom let him hold me. And when Mom asked him why he wanted to hold me so badly, he'd said "Because she's mine."

I've heard this story more times than I can count. It only made me even more smitten with Lucas than I already was as I grew up. I can remember being as young as five years old and thinking of Lucas as my prince, my hero, my other half. No matter what's happened between us I've always loved him and these past few months have made it unfailingly clear that I always will. It doesn't matter how much he's hurt me. It doesn't matter that he's said and done some things that are hard to forgive. In the end I'll always love him because I belong to him. Not by choice, but by fate.

Maybe that's why I can't seem to escape him. Fate brought me right across the hall from him and has been smacking us together ever since. Not that I completely tried to stay away from him, did I? A small part of me wanted to be part of his life again. A small part of me had even forgiven him for everything that happened. But for the sake of the act I pretended to continue hating him when I realized he still hated me. Anything to avoid admitting how much that hurt.

The thing is, I don't think I can pretend anymore. I don't know how to pretend anymore. I don't think I even want to. But am I willing to put my heart on the line again? Am I ready to let him in, knowing he could destroy me once more? I honestly don't know because in order to do that I have to tell him what happened four years ago. I've never told anyone. Not Lucas or my parents and until I finally say something, I'll never be able to move past this.

"Damn it," I whisper and cover my face with my hands. I think I also dragged out hating Lucas because it gave me a reason to hide the truth about what happened. I wasn't ready to confront it and I could hide it in the storm of our rivalry. Nobody asked questions. Nobody even realized. As long as they kept their attention on Lucas and me, they wouldn't know something else went wrong. So I kept up my hatred for him even though it hurt to hurt my best friend. I was young and a coward but it's time to grow up. It's time to stop being so afraid.

There's a knock on the front door and my head whips up, wondering if it's Lucas. When Grace stands up from the couch I wave her back down. "I'll get it."

I pull in a calming breath as I go to the door. Once I open it I can't help but feel a rush of disappointment when it's Beck that greets me instead. Instantly I feel bad for thinking that way and force a smile into place instead.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Hey," He stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Could I talk to you?"

"Sure," I step aside and he brushes past me into the living room. Lucas will have to wait. When I turn around to face him I find him shuffling from foot-to-foot what appears nervously. "Is everything okay?"

He nods and then lowers his voice. "Could we talk, uh, privately?"

We both glance over at Grace who catches onto the awkward silence immediately. She gets to her feet and holds her book close to her chest. "Huh. What are the chances? I'm suddenly starving so I'm just going to run down to the cafeteria."