adoration || brightwin

seven

above is who i pictured Callie as :) ☝︎︎

win

i sat on the bed, still very confused with what is going on while my eyes dart between bright and some girl?

"listen, i don't want any explanation. honestly i don't even care that you're- gay," she pointed at me awkwardly, "or whatever, i just-" she inhaled sharply. who is she?

she walked back and forth infront of the bed, her hand resting on her forehead.

"callie," bright stood up from the bed, holding onto her arms, stopping her in her tracks, and tilting her chin to meet his eyes. "i'm not gay, i don't even know who this guy is, i was drunk and bored okay?" he reassured her, and a sharp pain instantly hit my chest.

what is he trying to do? he knows who i am. why is he pretending?

"why did you just leave without giving any sort of explanation? you literally just packed your bags and moved out. we've been dating for 3 years, bright. seriously, what the hell?" she shoved him away.

everything started to register in my brain. callie? that was her name. and she's his girlfriend. oh.

i couldn't handle seeing this anymore. my chest felt so heavy i couldn't breathe. the humid air filled with the addicting scent of him.

i got up from where i was sitting on the bed, grabbing a random jacket, putting it on and heading for the door. i pushed past callie, and walked out, slamming the door behind me. i could hear bright yelling after me, but i paid him no mind.

this entire time he's toyed with my feelings. he knew all along how i felt for him. and this entire time, he's had a girlfriend.

the loud music and shouting was all drowned out. i could only hear my own thoughts. everytime i closed my eyes, to try and regain balance, all i see is him towering over me.

after what felt like years, i finally made it out of the house, and into my car. and it all hit me. the betrayal, the lying, the touches, the rejection. the truth.

hot tears were streaming down my cheeks, and i realized i was crying. sobbing.

i couldn't make sense of it. not during the long drive home, not during the entire next week. i couldn't figure out why. what did i ever do wrong?

-
bright

he's been avoiding me. everytime i try to explain myself to him. he walks away. he makes any excuse not to stay for workshop, and when we film, he's distant. when we film, he's tine. when we film he's bubbly, and smiling. but as soon as it's all over, and he's win again, he's distant.

one thing i've always observed about win, is how genuinely happy he always is. he takes hate, and thinks of it as constructive criticism, and improves himself in so many ways that no one ever has anything to hate on him for.

he doesn't let things get to him. ever.

but this is what i wanted right? to hurt him. to make him stop liking me. now he won't even look at me. and it hurts.

callie has been calling me nonstop. i left her for a reason. because i don't feel the way i do with win, with anyone else. he makes my heart race. he makes my skin sting with every slight touch. he lights me on fire, and i crave the feeling of that genuine love.

and now i've lost it.

i've lost the one person who could make me happy. who could make me become myself again. i've lost him.

and i'm going to get him back.

——-
win

the day after i left the party, i realized the jacket i'd taken had been bright's. i never returned it. i don't want to. i don't want to ever see him again.

yet here i am. laying in bed, all windows shut, the blinds blocking all natural light out of the room. snuggled up to his jacket, which still had his strong scent. as it absorbs all my tears that seem to stream down my face.

i hate it. i hate the fact that i still love him, after everything he's done. i still want to hug him. i still want to play games with him. i still want to go to fanmeets with him. because i love everything about bright vachirawit. i always have.

before i knew him, i'd sometimes see him on billboards around bangkok. or in chiang mai.
everywhere.

we had a past that's long gone. forgotten. hidden.

he used to be my best friend.

he used to be my everything.

i hear banging on my door, and i groan. i look at my alarm to see its 13:45. i've been laying in bed all day. thinking.

i groan, sitting up and wiping my face, running my hands through my hair as i walk to the front door.

i open it slowly, surprised at who's standing on the other side of the doorway.

what the fuck is he doing here? and why am i so happy to see him?

——-
hii, recently i've seen more positive comments on my story! so thank you for that! i'm glad you guys enjoy these random updates. and it will mean a lot if you keep on reading!🤍