Bechloe - Everything I Wanted ✓

Everything I Wanted Part 6

Beca's P.O.V

Chloe and I got back around 20 past 3, the bar didn't kick us out until after three. We've just got back and I'm in the bathroom getting in my pj's. Chloe wants to talk, I'm just going to tell her about my dream, nothing else. I know she loves me, but that parts terrifying me. I leave the bathroom and go to our room. I see Chloe in my bed wrapped up. I guess she's going to cuddle me.

"Come on Beca, get in and talk to me"

"Are you ready for this? Because I'm not"

"You trust me, right?"

"More than anything"

"So, talk to me. What's going on? Why did you leave?"

Oh god, here goes.

"Ok, promise me you won't say anything until I've finished?"

"I promise Beca"

"I keep dreaming the same thing over and over again. It started off as me being in school and being bullied and my Dad telling me being gay was a phase, but then it just gets worse and worse every night. It starts off the same way, me being in school being bullied, but then it always ends differently, until the last 3 nights where they end the same way. The whole dream after school is me being around the Bella's, at first it started off ok, but then they started saying that I'm pointless and the Bella's are better off without me. You then shout at me telling me you'd be better off if I was gone. Over the last 3 nights they've been exactly like that, but then Aubrey comes in saying she shouldn't have let me in and then you all agree" I start to cry, but still manage to continue. "I phone my Dad, but he blames me for his and Mum's relationship break down and then says everyone would be better if I'm dead. I try to talk but you all shoot me down, in the end I get in my car and I drive to the Golden Gate bridge and jump off. As I'm jumping off you're all there cheering me on and then yeah, I die. But the scariest part is, it seems so real, and then when I don't want to talk and you all push me, it just reminds me of the dream and I just want to vanish.

But it's right anyway, I'm just a nobody, the dream's right. It's because of me you all get angry, my Dad doesn't talk to me anymore. Everything's my fault. I can't do this Chlo. It's too hard, I've lost everyone before, and the dream just puts it into reality that I'm just a pathetic little nobody that no one wants around. I'm just waiting for the day you all realise and follow what everyone else has done" That's it, I'm gone. I'm uncontrollably sobbing, my knees to my head, my hands are wrapped around my knees.

Chloe's P.O.V

Beca tells me all of this and all I can do is cry, I have tears. She's sobbing loudly with her knees close to her head. I wish I could take the pain away. We all love her, she's done so much for us, even Aubrey agrees. We need her.

"Shh, shh, come on Becs, hey hey, look at me"

She looks at me and her eyes are bloodshot, she had tears everywhere. God, I wish I could take the pain away from her, it hurts seeing her like this. I've never seen her this bad.

"Beca, please, listen to me ok? Just listen. As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you. I know it's hard and you don't want to lie here, but you can learn to. Fuck, If I could change the way you see yourself, I promise you, you wouldn't wonder why you're here. Those people? They didn't deserve you. I promise you Beca, we all love you, none of us are going anywhere, we're family. We're not leaving your side, I promise"

She didn't say anything, she just sobbed. It hurts seeing my best friend like this. I look over at the time and see it's nearly 5, we're both very much awake.

"Becs? Are you tired?"

She shook her head.

"Me either, do you want a coffee?"