Two doctors working on the same floor share and compete for patients.
One doctor increases headsize by inflating heads with cow farts,
the other is an optometrist specialising in psychiatry; and he funds the protests of the anti-farters.
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Doctor Dobrey Oc and Doctor Kleinkopf say,
"SIZE MATTERS"
by, Erika Karol Sidler-Korman
"Melonie, bring in the next patient" Doctor Dobrey Oc's voice came through the intercom.
Lunch hour was approaching, but there was time for one more intervention. Berta was reclining on her lush grass carpet, peacefully munching her portion of grass and herbs. Her head was big, as any must be in order to win even a mite of respect from Doc Oc.
"Good girl, gifted girl," he cooed as he stroked the beast's hide. The intercom buzzed. He pressed to answer, "Speak."
"Doctor Oc uh, the patient you just saw, the Mr. Clip?..."
"Yes, Melonie, get on with it."
"He is still here. He doesn't want to leave."
"Oh?"
"Mr. Clip is afraid to exit."
"Oh?"
"Doctor Oc, you should open the window and look down into the street."
"If you say so. Is my next patient ready?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Well, what are you waiting for? Send him in. It's almost lunch." Doc Oc took a few steps towards the window, fully observed the scene, then shut the curtains firmly with one sweep of his arm.
Demonstrators. "What is the world coming to?" He said under his breath.
Noticing his patient waiting to be asked to enter he turned and said, "Good morning, Mr. Peabody. Please come in. Lie down here. You remember the procedure I described," he watched the patient nod. "Good. I see you are not wearing your spectacles."
"That's right. After the transformation," Mr. Peabody smacked his lips, "I'm seeing the optometrist next door. Did you know he also does psychiatry?" he said, once more gushing.
"Great. I've heard he's making a name for himself." (Because of me of course, Doc Oc congratulated himself silently.) "We're going to hook you up to Berta now. It might feel a little uncomfortable, but there's no need to be concerned."
Doctor Oc unravelled the long principal tube that was attached to Berta's behind, and then inserted the four thin secondary extensions into Mr. Peabody's olfactory and auditory orifices. Next, the doctor crossed the room and brought Berta to her feet, as one might a princess; and then turned her head away from the patient—a little man, at the moment lying in a shadow bed designed specifically for the procedure. He might have been at a tanning salon.
