UMBRELLA ACADEMY/READER ONESHOTS

1. Loser (Klaus)

Starting this book off with a basic ass klaus/reader one shot, where y/n wakes up one night only to receive a call from non other than her lifelong best friend, klaus hargreeves.

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Klaus Hargreeves is one of a kind. He's eccentric, odd, somewhat funny, wild, exciting, and so much more. I've known this man for about 15 years of my life, and to say he's my friend would be an understatement. No, he's my best friend. My soulmate, maybe. We've been through thick and thin together, and I wouldn't trade him for anyone else in this ugly, god forsaken world.

That being said, I'm ready to smash a fucking brick against his head.

It's about 12 in the morning on a Tuesday night, when my peaceful slumber is ever so rudely interrupted by the king himself, Klaus Hargreeves. I barely manage to get out of my bed as my phone rings and vibrates on my desk. Cursing silently, I scoff once I see the caller ID, and answer the call.

"Y/n, my love! My precious little bestie!" His voice sings a moment later.

"What the fuck do you want?" I muttered, running my fingers through my messy hair.

"Right, always one to jump straight to the point. Love that about you, sweetheart. Anyways, you see, I may or may not have accidentally taken three hits of coke, and I may or may not have picked a fight with the bouncer at the club down on 3rd Avenue, and I may or may not need a ride home...."

In that instance I felt my eye begin to twitch, and the irritancy I had nearly tripled. Of course. Of course Klaus wakes me up in the middle of the god damn night to pick him up from a club. Not even a week after he promised me he'd try to get sober.

"Klaus! What the fuck?!" I sighed angrily, nevertheless beginning to dress myself to head out to the club. "You promised you'd cut that shit out after the last time I nearly had to take you to a fucking hospital."

I could hear the hesitance in his voice as I left my apartment, stomping towards my car. "I knowwww I knowww, darling. Look- just get here soon alright? I'm not exactly in the best state of mind to be standing near a dark alleyway at twelve in the morning." He hummed.

"Whatever. Stay put, okay? I'll be there in five." I scowled and hung up, rolling my eyes. I got into the car and began to drive. What a damn mess.

I met this kid when we were both around 15. He and his siblings had saved a store from being robbed, and I just happened to be one of the people watching, curled up by the frozen food section. When he tried to help me out of the corner I was sat in, I told him to 'fuck off, loser', and from that point on we became close friends.

I was with Klaus when he first tried weed. It was my fault, honestly. We were hiding in the garden of the Hargreeves mansion— because Reginald thought I was 'a distraction and a bad influence'— when I showed him the blunt my friend gave me, and we both promised to try it together, just to see what it was like. From that moment on, after the first hit, we got blazed almost once a week.

Only a year later, Klaus brings me to the garden to show me the LSD tabs he bought with some birthday money. I was reluctant, but I ended up trying it with him. It was pretty fun, I'll admit, although I wasn't planning on doing it again. That shit fucks up your brain.

Klaus, however, had other intentions. As soon as he turned 18, the man practically ran away from his home and lived with a mutual friend of ours for a while, since I was still with my parents at the time. One night, he texts me to come over, saying he has a little surprise. When I entered the apartment, I had not expected to find klaus sitting at the table, four rows of cocaine laid out in front of him.