thought this story fits well with what girls go through on a daily with today's body standards and added some things i went through when i was younger. this might sound cliche but love yourself beauties you're perfect💗
2020: the year of change. a revolution of acceptance towards others and even ourselves. i am no exception. i've always been a bit 'on the heavier side,' as my mother would describe, but it wasn't until late last year that i began the road to body love. needless to say, i still find myself having difficulty dealing with self-image.
one of the main scenarios would be shopping with my slimmer friends. don't get me wrong, i love them all to death, but it could get rather discouraging when they got to shop in the normal section while i floated through the plus sizes. as much as i enjoyed spending time with them, i preferred shopping alone most of the time. today was one of those times. i had just walked into a random store in the mall, readily set on achieving a successful shopping day. however, within mere moments i found myself in the direct view of a couple of my male friends. i turned away in hopes that they'd be oblivious of my presence, but the inevitable won as i heard them talk amongst themselves. "aye, y/n!" mattia called out, and all the boys raised their hands when i looked over. i gave a weak wave, hoping that they'd understand that i really just wanted to shop alone, in peace.
"hey, are you here alone?" kairi continued on as they flocked over to me, diminishing any chance of granting my wishes today.
"yeah, actually." i looked at them, hinting my desire to avoid company. they were utterly oblivious.
"well that's no fun," roshaun piped up as he stood on the other side of the clothing rack, swiping through the various clothing items before connecting his gaze with mine. "why don't we take you shopping? it'll be on us." he looked at the other boys, who agreed with enthusiastic nods.
"that wouldn't be necessary," i denied as politely as i could. "i– i prefer to shop alone. thank you, though." if subtly wouldn't get to them, i might as well say it straight up. unfortunately, it made no difference.
"aw, don't be modest." alejandro nudged me before hanging his arm around my shoulders. "come on, you're coming with us." looks like i had no other choice. a couple shops later, they had finally found a place that catered to their liking. i couldn't complain too much about the store itself; it had decent clothes that i'd wear. but as i saw the boys scoping out the normal-sized sections, i began to feel uneasy. within minutes, each of them had picked out at least one outfit for me to try on.
i took the hangers with great hesitance, looking at each of them. "well go on and try them, princess," alejandro encouraged, nodding towards the fitting rooms. i considered making a run for it, but they looked so expectant, and i found it difficult to say no. they followed after me as i walked into the area, and they sat on the couches in the middle. i locked myself in a room and took a deep breath.
"you'll be fine," i mumbled to myself, "maybe they'll fit." turns out my words of encourage didn't help much as i tried on the first shirt and could barely move without risking a tear in the material. discouraged enough as it was, i refused to try anything else on and decided to stand there and wait for time to pass. when i decided it had been long enough, i grabbed the clothes and opened the door, catching the boys' attention.
"done already? i thought you were gonna show us," mattia spoke first. i shrugged, pretending not to be fazed by anything.
"i didn't really like the clothes.. sorry, guys," i lied, setting the clothes on the return rack.
"aw, that's alright. we'll try another store then," kairi brushed it off, and then we were off to our next place.
two hours and five shops later, i was standing in the middle of a forever 21 dressing room, almost ready to burst into tears.
