8th Period and Other Tall Tales

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Chapter 1

It was a dark stormy day in the cemetery. But even as the wind howled, the passerby could still hear the heavy breathing from all the crying at the casket.

Abe Lincoln felt as dark as the day while George Washington felt as the night was covering his heart.

Their beloved professor was no more.

He died tragically in a serious chemical explosion, one that killed him dead.

Many mourned him, but they all PALE in comparison to the grief and anguish experienced by his three favorite students, Abraham, George, and Robert.

Even when everyone else had left hours after the funeral was over, the three of them still remained, kneeling by his casket, awaiting the moment they finally had to say goodbye to their favorite professor.

Thankfully for them, the ever caring and wise Pastor Once Ler stayed to keep them company in their most desperate moment.

"I understand how hard this is for twinks like you, please take your time." The Once Ler said, licking his lips.

George and Abraham felt almost enticed by The Once Ler's "twink" comment, however, Robert, being the more extroverted of the group, felt a certain sensation in his pants as he stared at The Once Ler's towering figure.

Abe grabbed onto Furg's lapel, staring at his shining eyes before closing them, cursing the funeral director's grave mistake. He pressed his small dry ass lips against Furg's vaseline lippies and kissed him slowly and sexily.

George being suddenly and uncontrollably turned on to no extent, leaped onto Furg's dead cold body, and began unbuttoning Furg's shirt.

The Once Ler stared at the scene, as the familiar sensations he once felt at the seminary resurfaced. He had never seen anyone act like this before, but he knew he liked it.

As the Once Ler grappled with this new wave of emotions, Robbie stood and looked deeply into his eyes, and simply said "Do you like Big Chungus?" Robbie then aggressively and passionately kissed The Once Ler on his moist young lippies.

The Once Ler was HARD.

He didn't want to kiss back, but his lippies started moving on their own, almost as if they were reflexively responding to something like a normal human being would god damn it. He then opened his eyes and saw the chaos that surrounded them.

Abe Lincoln was now fully nude and had taken the liberty of shoving a candle stick in a very dark place ;) all while George continued to undress the very dead man below him.

With The Once Ler's remaining self-control, he commanded the two other boys to dismount from the deceased.

The Lorax started to cry because Abe had stepped on a nearby flower.

Abe and George quickly regained their composure, and beginning to put their god damn clothes on because we will not have fucking NECROPHILIA IN THIS FANFIC.

George quickly clothed the dead man and then buried him immediately.

Once George was complete in burying Furg, he was very sweaty, and everyone, including The Lorax, was extremely hornie on main.

They all began to approach each other before the Once Ler held up his skinny, twinkish hand, "We shouldn't do this." He said emo-ly, "I have a better spot."

"You mean..............Lover's lan3???" Asked George, suddenly remembering the fun times he had had with Furg at that very spot. He began to cry again before his pee pee got hard again.

"Yes! Here I'll drive us ;)" The Once Ler said gleefully, as he began to lead the group to his teal Chevy. "But we should probably take the Hearse, since it has tinted windows."

The boys nodded in agreement as they began to enter the hearse where the former teacher had just been transported to his final resting place.

They all buckled up as according to law before the Lorax began to drive them to Lover's Lan3. The Once Ler had to keep his eyes on the road in order to not become completely dazed at the sight of the thicc boyz behind him.

The Lorax turned on the radio, which began to play the Britney Spears hit, Toxic. They began to stir in their seats, unable to sit still due to the fact that they were so HORNWEY.

The entire group felt their hearts quicken as they approached Lover's Lan3, as they knew this was a very important, normal, and necessary part of their grieving process.

As The Once Ler put the Hearse in park, he could not control his urges as he leaped over the seats, dragging the Lorax behind him, eager to display the Lorax's incredible talents to the group.

Abe was hungrily looking at George like he was a five star meal ready to be eaten by a hungry, hungry hippo.

(The writer's were inspired by their dearest friend's chewing of those deliciously crunchy pretzies).

As Robbie limped upwards towards Abe's seat to check on him from a previously mentioned tummy ache, Adams realized a subtle noise emitting from his location. Later that noise was found to be the Onceler senselessly cleaning Abes bum bum with his vorpal tongue action. (it hits all enemies with physical dmg (Severe)).

"How bad could I possibly be?" were the only words that needed to be said in order for the Lorax's special little talent ;).

That little rat bitch's talent was juggling all four of the beautiful wallets while burping the ABC's. The group was so amazed by The Lorax's talent that they were easily disposed of as The Lorax knocked them out, and stole all of their belongings and left them completely nude in a locked Hearse.

THE END........OR NOT???????

Chapter 3-1 THE SECONDING

As The Once Ler woke, he quickly felt a pain in his heart at the sudden betrayal of his dearest and oldest little rat bitch lover. But that pain quickly faded away as he noticed three unconscious beautiful boys surrounding him. They will replace the Lorax, and this time he will make sure they don't get away.

The little rat bitch left behind a piece of paper. It was ironic you know because he wants to save the trees and shit. The Once Ler picked it up, sniffing it for confirmation. His eyes widened as he realized.........

FURG DIDN'T DIE OF NATURAL CAUSES!!!!!?????

Chapter square root of die

They needed to find the killer. So they hired Goro Akechi. After they all briefly sucked him off, they knew they had to get to work.