Underworld Edits and Reviews

💎 Laws of Time (B)

Title: Laws of Time
Author: Karasmara
Genre/Subgenre: Fantasy Adventure

Blurb:
"With the power to change history, we have a great responsibility to keep the time intact,"

Anielle is a descendant of the all-powerful Karaisa family. The ruler of Rainarog and the most influential family in the continent of Pallaea. Their prowess lies in the secret of an inherited magic, the magic of time.

Anielle had decided to give away her gift of time travel for her brother. Until the discovery that her brother revoked the gift reaches the whole Karaisa family. Anielle's family is at risk to be set as an example...

...when she finds out that her future self has sent a legendary Samaya to save her. She now has to accept the gift and find her brother that is "lost" in time to save him from his doom.

Reviewer: 🌹BrittneyStar

Review:

Title: 5/5
The title is good. It is short and draws the eye. It fits your story without giving away any plot.

Cover: 5/5
Your cover is beautiful. It fits your genre well with the colors and the font. It draws the eye even for the dimensions on a phone.

Blurb: 5/5
The blurb did a great job. It is short and sweet, but hooks you in. It has a hook that gives us just enough to be curious about what is inside.

Spelling, Punctuation, Grammar, and Vocabulary: 14/15
I only noticed one grammar mistake and I think it was in edits. At the beginning of chapter 2 it says "quite a several times" and I think it was meant to be either quite a few times or several times.

World-building and Descriptions: 10/10
The world is interesting. You did a great job in the earlier chapters of setting it up and making me want to know more about it.

Character Development: 17/20
Your characters are interesting. I did like the ones I got to hear about and I only read the first few chapters, but I didn't feel like I got to know many of the characters. Which is fine, many plot driven stories are like that.

Plot Development/Pacing/Chapter Structure: 18/20
The plot is very good. I haven't read anything quite like this plot before, so that was refreshing. The chapter structure is very nice. None of your chapters were too long or too short. The only thing is that chapter one seemed like a lot of info at once and drug a little bit.

Originality: 10/10
Like I said above, I haven't read anything like this before. So that was very nice. It is cool reading about.

Enjoyment/Hook: 10/10
I was hooked from your blurb and then even more so learning about the world you have created. I did enjoy reading this.

Total: 94/100