𝐴𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑆𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐴𝑈 ♡𝐷𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑑

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑇𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦 𝑇𝑤𝑜

Part One

Usually silence is a good thing. It means no one has anything to say which helps me avoid conversation. But in this moment in time I would give anything to hear someone say something. It's been dead quite for the pass twenty minutes! No one moved. No one spoke. I'm quite surprised that they were still breathing, they looked like statuses.

You may be wondering why I haven't said anything. Well, the harsh reality is that I am so done I don't even feel like breathing. I just want it all to be over. What's the point in fighting if I'm just gonna lose. And I don't want to hear the harsh words that will be fired at me.

This isn't the first time I've said I wanted to kill myself to someone. I told one of my foster moms. I was eleven years old. We just had a assembly on mental health. And I came home and told her, that's what they told me to do. She looked at me and laughed in my face. Told me I was a worthless peice of shit and that it's no wonder I wanted to kill myself. She only wanted me for the money. That was also the day I tried to comit suicide for the first time. I had to many pills, the maid of the house found me and called the ambulance. I was sent into foster care as soon as I got out of the hospital.

My whole life I've been abandoned, abused, neglected, and worse all on my own. So what if I spill the whole truth about myself to the people who are supposed to love me the most. So what if I get a couple of harsh words flown at me, I can take it. I've done it once I can do it again.

"You tried to kill yourself." Bucky mumbles out softly while looking at me. I weakly look at him and shrug my shoulders. I bring up my hands with six fingers and hold up one more adding seven. Then I bring them down and set them in my lap. I give him a very fake smile.

"Don't stress to much about it. I just wasn't meant to be live on this world yet." With everyone looking at me I would usually get very self conscious but right now I just feel numb.

Peter cries out and runs towards me, "Peter what are you doing-" He grabs my thighs and wraps them around his waist. I barely noticed the pain in my ribs. If anything the pain felt. . . Good. It's like the world is telling me I'm still here. He sits on the floor and holds me tightly, rocking back and forth while he cries in my neck.

Shocked I stay frozen while he does this, why didn't he yell, or scream?!? Does he really care? I look back at the others who are still pretty frozen from shock. Some of them have tears in their eyes while others look plain angry. Not at me though, which I am very confused on why they are angry but eh.

Peter then starts to sob and my arms hang limply on my sides while my head is on his shoulder. Am I supposed to hug back? Do I pay his head? Make a sarcastic remark? What am I supposed to do?!? I've never dealt with this before? Not even my old boyfriends and girlfriends did this for me.

If I were to kill myself would it have really hurt them? More than I thought? Oh fuck it! I wrap my arms around Peters' waist and cry. Just a few silent tears. No matter how much I try to hold them in. So my chest just shakes and whimpers escape my mouth. As soon as I heard Peter whisper in my ear I lost it, "I love you."