The Fog of Fame (Len x Oliver)

Chapter 16 - That Night,

Eleven twenty-three...

...

Eleven twenty-four...

...

Eleven twenty-five...

...

Should I do this? Should I really face him?

When else would you?

But... what if it goes wrong? What if... I say the wrong things? What if-

No, Oliver, think positive. You've known him well, you know he wouldn't do such a thing.

Would he?

I sighed, groaned, crashed my head onto the strangely-hard pillow. I felt the heartache, the headache—my heart still yearned for his attention—for his love—it's telling me that he still loves me, that everything that had happened had all just been a little misunderstanding.... But what I had seen that day – on my birthday! – on that stage... it was burnt in my mind: the gloom-stained image of Len smiling as he announced his relationship with Rin, their official kiss, up-stage for everyone to see...

It left me in tears, streams of them, for hours and hours—days even. I hadn't ever felt heartbreak before... it felt awful—despairingly awful. And his smile then—it made it all the worse.

I had locked myself up in my room for the following weeks, eating nothing, drinking...nothing. Needless to say, I came out miserable: thin as a twig, eye bloodshot... blood-red, clothes ripped and holed in my frustration. And I never really got over it.

Not even now.

Not even after a whole year.

Not even after achieving what I thought was my dream.

When I had first come here, I had thought Rin hated Len for the same reason. I thought he had played with her feelings, broke her heart or something. With all the songs Len had, it didn't seem too hard to believe.

But now... now that I had seen how exactly it worked behind the stage... maybe... if I could learn his side of the story...

＊＊＊

I walked up to his room, just a few doors from mine, and stood quietly as I gathered my confidence. The door grew, larger and larger, and as the creases made out to be the eyes of the creature, it howled into my mind—its dark brown wood... What if he hates me too? What if-

I took a deep breath, raised a shaky fist, and knocked tentatively, softly on the door as to not gain the attention of any of the others.

No answer.

Is he asleep?

I was about turn back and leave, but then came his voice. "Come in," I heard him whisper. To that I gulped, and I turned the knob, pushed the door lightly before fitting my way into the small dark opening I made for myself.

"Oliver?" He called in his raspy whisper. You could tell he had probably been crying too.

"Yeah?" I whispered back, closed the door behind me with extra caution.

"Why... are you here?"

I breathed deeply, exhaled, and only then could I answer; with my beating heart still deafening my ears, "I-I... tell me, Len..." I bit my lip... what do I want to know? "Were you really dating Rin?"

I could see his shocked figure through the dark, then I could see something click, before he turned back and answered. "Yes."

No, that's not supposed to happen.

He loved me didn't he?

He's not a bad person.

It can't be true!

"Rin forced me to." He sounded... hurt. Then he finally poured everything out: all the stories of his pain, before he had left one-year-ago, before we had met. Then after that. How they had forced him to continue performing, to continue singing for the crowd. It all made sense. It all made clear.

His words from Shukijin echoed in my mind. It all makes sense now!

How stupid was I to not trust him first.

"And I..." he sobbed, "I never forgot about you. You were always in my heart."

"I'd wanted to run and meet you again, I'd wanted to break out... to see you. And when I saw you came here..." he bit his lip, "I didn't know what to do."

"I know you hate me now," he continued to sob, his words barely escaping his mouth, "but-"

I reached out and hugged him, tight, in my hands, squeezed him from behind, tight, to let him know I still cared for him—I couldn't take it... all his pain... I wanted it to stop; I wanted to stop it. "Len," I whispered to him by his ear, laid my head on him like one of those days when we were together back in Shukijin, "I'll help you. I—I..." air escaped my lips as I sought to say the next few word; and as my heart continued to tighten, as the emotions built up within me, I felt myself finally being able to say those words to him again: "I-I love you. I still love you."

I felt his shock, then his tears streamed down harder, he wrapped my arms in his and made the most beautiful soul-forsaking groan.It had been my mistake. I—had I trusted him from the start...

"Oliver..."

I looked to him, then sat myself by him, our hands still connected, his warm hands in mine.

"Len..."

"Oliver, we... we can't do this." He spoke in a broken tone.

Why Not!?

"They hate me," he squeezed my hands, before letting it go... I kept it on his, "if they see us together... they'll hurt you too."

"Len, I don't care what they do."

"I do!" His tears visible, even in the dark, "Ollie, I don't want to see you hurt."

"I'll be hurt if I can't be with you."

He grit his teeth slightly, he knew he couldn't stop me, we both knew where this was going. "Then— then... we'll keep it a secret. None of the other Vocaloids can know this, okay?"

I felt a smile form, then I buried myself in his chest and nodded to let him know... "I love you."

"I love you too, Ollie." He wrapped his arms around me, and we stayed there for a good couple minutes crying—then another, just relishing each other's presence.

But alas, we knew I had to leave, no more sleeping-togethers, no more special-nights... No, not the sexual kind... we just like to spend nights together with each other, talking, hugging, cuddling...

We knew: Rin would come next morning, and if she would see us together in his bed... well, she'd tell the higher-ups, then everyone would know... and there would go our chances, out of the window.

Len, I love you.

Len... thank you—

—for forgiving me...

...for everything.