Unsent Letters to Edward

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I was just nine years old back then when I realized that life was really unpredictable and short. Na hindi laging constant na kasiyahan ang mararamdaman mo. At ang nakakatakot? You might even, first, face the worst thing in your life before you'll learn.

My mom died because of Dilated Cardiomyopathy. Huli na nang nalaman namin. I just turned nine that day noong bigla siyang hinimatay. Akala namin, hinimatay lang siya because of stress and fatigue...but when my uncle checked her pulse, he confirmed to us na wala na siya.

Akala ko, 'yon na ang worst moment sa buhay ko...pero akala ko lang pala ang lahat. Christmas noon at napagdesisyonan ni Daddy na magpa-party para na rin siguro makalimutan ko saglit ang sakit ng pagkawala ni mommy. But I guess, life has really its own ways on messing up with us. Nasa kalagitnaan ako nang paglalaro with my cousins when I suddenly felt dizzy and passed out.

Akala ko pagod lang 'yon...but I was wrong. I was nine years old that time when I was diagnosed with Dilated Cardiomyopathy...the same disease that ended my mom's life.

Doon ko lang narealize na sobrang ikli ng buhay. 'Yung iba, nalulungkot kapag kaarawan na nila. Nadadagdagan na naman kasi sila ng isang taon sa edad nila at natatakot na malapit ng mawala sa kalendaryo. But me? Sobrang saya ko. A new life means a new hope for me kahit alam kong papalapit na ako ng papalapit sa deadline ko.

"Hey, Miles! Ano na? Pupunta ka ba or hindi?"

Napabalik ako sa realidad dahil sa pagtawag sa'kin ni Jo, my bestfriend.

"Huh? Sorry, I wasn't attentive a while ago. Saan ba?"

"That's it! You've been spacing out, Miles. Hindi mo pa nga nagagalaw ang pagkain mo. May problema ka ba? Hindi ka na naman ba makahinga ng maayos?" she asked with concern.

Jo knew about my condition and God knows kung gaano siya naging protective sa'kin noong nalaman niya. Eksakto pang Nursing ang kurso niya kaya naman todo ang pagpapa-alala niya sa'kin ng mga do's and dont's ko. She's my childhood bestfriend but she's more likely a mom for me.

"No, may naalala lang," and to end her questions, I gave her an assuring smile. "Ano nga pala 'yung tinutukoy mo kanina?"

"I'm asking kung tuloy pa ba 'yung pagsama mo sa'kin sa arena mamaya."

Oh. Jo's a big fan of Blazing Spikers, a men's volleyball team, at lahat ng laro ng team ay hindi pinalagpas ni Jo. Todo pa ang excitement niya nang makapasok ang paborito niyang kuponan sa Finals.

"Oo naman. I've already made my promise to you, Jo."

"Sure? Wala nang bawian?"

"Wala na. Promise."

"Oh siya...dahil diyan, you owe me a favor."

Napangiti na lang ako habang umiiling sa kaniya.

Pagkauwi namin ay agad kaming nagbihis. 3:30 pa naman at 5:00 pa ang start ng Finals pero pinagmamadali ako ni Jo. Mas maganda raw kasi kung mauna kami doon although nakapagpa-reserve na kami ng seat. At sa harapan pa talaga. God, sana hindi kami matamaan ng bola mamaya, if ever.

The ride from the house to the arena took us almost an hour. Napamura pa si Jo ng ilang beses dahil baka daw ma-late kami. May nagproposed daw kasi na lalaki sa gitna ng highway. Romantic...but he still gets a no. Kawawa.

"Damn! Na stuck tayo dito ng napakatagal ta's hihindi lang din 'yung babae? What the F!"

I can see the frustration on Jo's face when she said that. Kahit ako nafru-frustrate din...at naaawa doon sa guy. Nobody deserves to be humiliated and to be treated like trash. But whoever the girl is, I know she has reasons. And why in the hell am I saying this? As if naman affected ako sa kanila.