Sinful love

Hate my whole life

Gold POV
I was just sitting at the balcony wondering how I got to be punished for my innocent misdeed. I really hate myself anytime I remember this memories. I can't get over them I know and I am just always depressed when I remember them. "It will be fine" I found myself whispering all alone. I am just lost in so many pain of my past. " you are here dear, have been searching for you ". ... I turned around to see her.  " Bellin, am sorry have been up here. I just want to see the view from here."  I sighed in relief. All I just wanted was for her to turn back and leave. "Do u need me, my little cousin" she said with her serious face, she is my cousin and we stayed together in school. She is so fat and not beautiful, gosh I just wonder wat guys see in her "are u suppose to be a food or some candy for me to need you" I frowned. I just wonder how she reasons, she is just always a turn off for me. She sat down beside me and all I could just do was to hmmm. "Gold, I know what you've been going through, though u don't want to talk but I can figure some shit out. I just want you to know I will always be here for you" I was just looking, I wanted to just start laughing but I can't, I don't want her to feel stupid lol. I wonder how some people think, you can't even save your relationship, you want to save me lol. "Gold I believe we can do this together, I have these friend of mine, he really likes you and he wanna be friends with you. He his a nice guy. And he won't eat you" she said smiling. I just hated her immediately, after everything have been through, the last thing I wanna is guys. I have been through a lot and it all because of these mysterious devilish creatures created by God. Men, I just feel dat is the wrongest decision Gxd as ever made. Men are just evil and people become my enemy if they talk about men. I am not a lesbian but I don't also like the word men. "U know I don't like men and being friends with those evil creatures. So please if you don't want me to hate you don't talk about them in front of me" I hissed. She looked quite but suddenly again "you have similarities, his been through a lot too, his past his worst than yours I guess. U guys can just be normal friends." I kept quiet, I just don't know what to say but her idea seems convincing. We kept quiet for a while and I just decided to break the silence " ok Fyn I will be his friend, give me his contact and what is his damn crazy name? I hope he his not cruel?"

She gave me all I asked and I immediately pick my phone and dialed his num, he didn't pick. I just became furious. I stumbled bck into my room, is been long I had sex, but I don't wanna have sex for now , I am trying to control my addicted urge. I switched off my phone and lay down on my bed.
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I hope you all like these chapter? The next chapter will be uploaded tomorrow. Please drop your comments. I want to know how much you all love me. Have been on the bed since morning, I guess I have malaria but I will try my best to update more chapters. Please don't forget to leave comments and to like too.