Rhiannon

- Riannon's Tale -

A year later

"Good morning, Riannon. How are you, today?" Helena welcomed Riannon in her office. She was sitting behind her desk and once Riannon entered, she stood up and smiled.

"I'm good. A little bit cold," she answered and took seat on a couch as she always used to do.

"Tea? Coffee?" Helena suggested, asking.

"Tea would be lovely, doctor," Riannon nodded with small smile.

Helena prepared tea, added a spoon of sugar as Riannon asked many times before, stirred it and then passed her a mug. She took it with quiet 'thank you' and cuddled her legs to her chest, holding mug with her both hands. "Is she here with you?" Helena asked as she took a seat in her armchair before Riannon and took small notebook to her hands.

"Yes," Riannon nodded once and looked next to herself. She saw herself sitting on a sofa. Her projection, only with grey eyes in black  dress. "I think... I would like to tell you something," she kept her eyes on a spot, then turned to Helena. And she was already crying and convulsively holding her wrist, while her hand, in which she was holding the cup, was shaking so much, she spilled the tea.

Helena stood up and came to wipe it. Then offered Riannon tissues to dry her tears. "It's alright, Riannon, cry if you must. If you feel like you want to tell me something, take your time."

It took her few minutes before she began to speak.

"I was born as Bradbury. Who was my father, I don't know. My mother probably has no idea either. I remember, when I was younger, she kept dragging man by man to our apartment. Then she married one. A Bentley. I can only wonder why. Now I know, it was simply a destiny. Shit happens, hm?" She rose her eyes red from crying at doctor and nodded once. "First time he came to my room, I remember the moment so blurry," she whispered and began to cry quietly. "I was 17 and I was so scared, that I didn't make a sound, I only cried and cried... Then he left and told me, that if I lock my door next night, he'll kick it out. He had a son," she sniffled and wiped her nose to tissue, that was already leaking from her tears. "He repeatedly beat me. He called me with the wirst names. Daddy's little bitch was probably the one, that will echoe in my brain for the rest of my life. And... And my mother, she knew," she cupped her face and bursted into endless desperate cry. "She knew and she always told me, that nobody will believe me."

Her endless cry echoed in the room and Helena stood up. At first she cancelled every futher appointment she had and then she came to Riannon and took her hand into hers. "I'm here. Continue, whenever you are ready."

"That is why I created Rhiannon and the world, where I didn't feel so hopeless. I see it now. She wears all the time the same clothes, the same hair and same make up. She is me. The version, that I wish, I could be. Fearless, revengefull," she admited, crying. "I so wish, I could go and kill them both. I wish, I could be strong enough to face my mother," she sobbed quietly. Then fell in train of thoughts, that seemed neverending.  "I imagined James as a man, who would be on a place of those, who hurt me. But he wouldn't be hurting me. But the truth is, that I, in the end, couldn't tell the difference between the reality and my imaginary world."

New long waterfalls of tears and Helena patiently waited, holding Riannon's hand.  "Does that mean, that the baby you carried, was your step father's?"

"Yes," Riannon whispered. "I got rid of it and I ran away from the house. I met Nathaniel and I thought, he could help me to move on. But I never really loved him. He annoyed me. Constantly he tried to change me. And I fell.
I fell into the other world completely. He wanted to took James from me."

"When we met, you called me a witch. An evil goddess. That's how you saw me?" Helena asked and Riannon nodded.

"Yes, I saw you as an evil. I woke up here, you were trying to keep me away from James, who was stading in corner of the room and he vanished everytime you began to talk to me," she answered, keeping her eyes closed. "You spoke to me and your words turned into venom in my head."

Helena nodded once and didn't comment on that. She knew, that Riannon, who was on medicaments started to realize, what is real and what is a world, that her brain created to protect her from reality. "Do you ever wake up as the other one? The other Rhiannon?"

"Yes," she nodded head. "I do. And I see him," she said, whispering. "He's standing by my bed and a scent of lavender is filling the room. There he is, that scar he has over his eyes, ink that adores his body. That piercing glare, that turns soft, when he sees me waking up."

"Does he speak to you?"

"No, he is quiet. But he is there," she added and began to cry again. "He is there and he always comes to me and hugs me. And I feel safe... And I feel loved."

"But he is not real, Riannon. He's only inside your head."

"I know," she whispered, closing her eyes. "I know."

That's why it hurts so much, she thought and looked at projection of Rhiannon, who was sitting by her side still.

We will make it together, my love. We are in this together, Riannon.

***

In her file, there was written schizophrenia. After a hell she has been through her brain created few personalities, who took her to a world, that was everything but her reality.

But her journey wasn't over. Her journey has just begun.

One day two police officers joined their appointment. Riannon was speaking in shame, like it was everything her fault. Like she was the one to blame, that she was in the past raped, humiliated and her soul torn to pieces.

But Helena knew, that deep down, she was strong and she knew, that Riannon will fight.

Or at least, she hoped so...