Rhiannon

~Us~

5 years later

I woke up in the middle of the night. Few drops of sweat on my forehead and my chest heavily arising and falling. I was panting and trying to wipe tears from my face. It was just a dream, just a dream. I tried to persuade myself, even though the darkness of the night, that was filling my bedroom, surrounded me and I felt, like it was suffocating me.

Then a movement came from beside me and a weight of a hand landed on my back. "Baby, are you alright?" It was your voice. The sleepy and husky as you just woke up and you sat next to me and caressed me gently. Oh, so gently.

"I had a nightmare," I whispered and he wrapped his arm around my waist and laid down with me, cuddling me to him.

"I'm here, Rhirhi," James whispered to my ear. "It was just a dream."

I closed my eyes and let out a long deep sigh. "Just a dream," I repeated and smiled with a content hum, when I felt comfortable warmth from his body surrounding me. His scent. That regular strong heart beat, pumping in his chest and I could feel it on my back. We laid for long minutes and I felt his hand caressing my forearm. I heard him breathing in essence from my hair.

Some parts of him, were the same like had James in my head. He was not so dark, but carring. Yes, he was also possessive, but he never played games with me, but always talked to me straigth. The most importantly, he was never demanding and he gave me time. In everything. In sharing things from my past, in intimacy, in decisions, whether I should stay over night with him, later to move to him.

He always gave me time and waited for my approval. Giving me comfort was for him like his task. James never did it, because he felt sorry for me, but because he wanted. He liked to spoil me, he liked to create smile on my thin lips. It didn't matter, if it was a breakfast to bed or he surprised me, waiting for me after my work.

A time to heal was, what I needed the most. I had it.

The first time he kissed me, I began to cry, because no man ever kissed me before with so much love and care. His lips dried my tears and his hands held my waist. The warmth from under his touch made my heart melt. Slowly I opened myself for him. Step by step, story by story.

James was a great listener. His gift to sometimes only listen without commenting, was something, that made my soul heal quicker. Yes, sometimes, he only listened and didn't say a word, then held me, till I cried myself to sleep in his arms. It was everything I needed few years ago. The comfort and the realization, that I am safe. That there is no longer somebody waiting behind my door, ready to hurt me...

It took me long months, before I was able to let him touch me. And everytime he felt, that I was tensed, he stopped. It felt most of the time, like my body was craving but mind refusing. How much he helped me, by giving me a power, by giving me a main word. I said no and he respected it like a holy word.

I know, he had to suffer like a dog sometimes, I saw it in his eyes, I felt it in reactions of his body. But he never pushed me somewhere, where I'd feel uncomfortable or endangered.

It was our second Christmas together, when he gave me a key from his apartment as a gift. It didn't take me long and I moved to him and stayed with him. Three months later, it was a day of my birthday, he came to bedroom and I asked him to keep the lights on. I needed and wanted to see him.

Like in my head, in my own world, where I was hiding, I repeated myself, that I am his virgin. That he is and always be my first and I hope, that he will be my last. What was before him, that never happened. I had to erase it and forget and James helped me to replace it with new experiences.

How gentle he was. It seemed, like while he was taking off my clothes, he was stepping on a holy ground. Like a man worshiping a god. With so much affection and so much love. To relax and slowly accept, what he was offering, was so easy in his arms. And soon in weeks, I came to realize, that a nervousness had been replaced with curiosity. Stress with thrill. Some days, I couldn't wait for him to come home finally.

Closed doors and footsteps in the hallway behind them meant no longer a threat. There walked a man, who loves me, man who cares. Man who seeks my comfort. And asks nothing but loyalty and honesty from my side.

From a train of my thoughts, James' voice brought me back to earth. I thought, he was sleeping already, when he suddenly said "Ah... I mean, now when we are awake..."

"Unbelievable," I chuckled and whatever scared me just minutes ago, it was gone.

Maybe in the end the magic is real. You are my magic, my lover, my man. Because in the end, you made the past to be only a bad dream. Only a nightmare and blurry memory.

So many times, I pondered, how come I knew you, before I met you. Maybe there are things beyond our understanding. Maybe my other reality was a memory. Memory to my past life. Even though nobody would believe me. Would I even believe something like that?

One thing, that I knew, when your soul met and touched mine, I knew, I was complete.

🖤🖤🖤THE END🖤🖤🖤