summer in the city 「 s.stan 」

DAY 16

— AUGUST 16TH —

For the third time that week, you woke up to see a lot of missed calls and messages from your friends, especially Allie. Not that you blamed her – yesterday had arguably been the peak of your shitty behaviour.

Finally, the reality of the situation hit you – you'd bailed on your best friends to sleep with a guy (again) who you'd known for a couple of weeks. And, to make matters worse, you'd then switched off your phone to avoid any confrontation.

Groaning, you sat up in bed and clicked on the FaceTime icon next to Allie's contact before you could change your mind. She picked up almost immediately, for once not looking too happy to see your face.

"I'm sorry," you spoke immediately, grimacing when she rolled her eyes in response. "I can explain."

"Yeah, you better," Allie snapped. "What's going on, Y/N? We've known each other since we were little kids and you usually tell me everything. I don't think I've ever been this clueless before."

"I know," you sighed, "I never meant for this to happen, I just... I don't know what's going on, okay? And I was trying to just block it all out, but I can't."

Allie didn't reply. You could see the hurt and frustration on her face as she folded her arms, and tears welled in your eyes as you finally began to explain what had happened, not sparing a single detail. You didn't want to lie any longer, no matter how embarrassing and awkward the situation was.

Once you'd finished talking, you watched as your best friend folded her arms, frowning at you for a second. And then, strangely, a huge grin broke out on her face.

"I knew you guys would get along."

"Get along?" you scoffed. "Allie, we fu– we slept together. Twice! And right now, I don't even know where I stand with him."

"Okay... where do you wanna stand with him?" Allie asked, genuinely wanting to help you. She never could hold a grudge for very long.

"I like him. A lot. And I know that I'll be leaving at the end of the month, but... I don't know, I just wanna enjoy the time I have left with him. Preferably not as friends with benefits, I want something more than that."

"And does he know what you want?"

You thought for a second, your eyebrows furrowed. You were pretty sure that Sebastian knew how you felt about him... then again, what had you said to him last time he'd tried to talk to you about everything that had happened?

"I'm fine. In fact, I think we actually made the right decision."

You'd lied. Of course.

Groaning to yourself, you internally cursed your stupidity. As difficult as it may be, you were going to have to come clean to Sebastian too – or risk losing your chance with him forever.

"Thank you," you muttered, addressing Allie again, "and I'm sorry again."

"Nah, it's fine. We're even now – because remember that time..."

As the conversation moved on, you felt your mood gradually being lifted. However, Sebastian couldn't say the same for himself.

He was standing outside your door, paying careful attention to everything you'd said about him. He didn't mean to intrude – he'd been walking towards the stairs when he heard you mention his name, and now he was standing still, his eyes closed in exasperation as he faced yet another internal battle with his own feelings.

Yes, he was falling for you. He thought that was obvious, especially after he blurted it out in front of Margarita. But, disturbingly, he understood where you were coming from. Things were constantly awkward between the two of you – the only time things were normal was when he had you pinned underneath him, moaning his name into the darkness. As if sex filled some kind of void that had formed between you.

Now, after overhearing you on the phone, he knew that you liked him back. But your words had unfortunately struck a nerve – they'd reminded him that you were leaving soon, a well known fact that he'd been trying to push to the back of his mind.

He could pursue things with you. He could grant his own wish by fixing things with you – but where would that get him? Really, there was only one outcome. He'd be left completely head over heels, forced to return to everyday life without you, while you'd likely go home and forget about him.

He thought he was just a summer fling.

Behind the door, you laughed and said your goodbyes to Allie. Sebastian hesitated, wondering whether to knock on your door and talk to you. But then he heard you enter the bathroom and lock the door, leaving him alone and lonely.

Leaving him with no other option but to walk away.