Strawberry Milk - Jeonglix

24

Seungmin knew what he was doing was wrong, morally so anyway. Every time he went to see Chan he felt sinful, but he couldn't stop it. He liked Chan and after they started meeting up, one thing led to another, but Chan never asked him to be his boyfriend. Seungmin was scared to ask Chan in case it ruined what they had and he never got to see him again, so they fell into a friends-with-benefits routine. Seungmin told himself he didn't mind, but he couldn't deny the fact it made him feel awful when he went home.

He was sat on Chan's bed again. Seungmin sat on his lap, knees either side of Chan's thighs as their lips connected in a long kiss. The guilt that resided in the pit of Seungmin's stomach was pushed away as Chan thrust him backwards, his back hitting the mattress and Chan's hands resting beside his head. His nails dug into the bed sheets until Seungmin removed of his hands and guided it towards his neck, whispering with only slight hesitation, "can you choke me?"

"What?" Chan asked, pulling away from the kiss, "you want me to choke you?" He asked for clarification, thinking he had heard wrong, but Seungmin nodded. "I would but...I don't know how."

"It's ok. I'll show you," Seungmin pulled him closer and tightened the grip he had on Chan's hand, thus tightening the grip Chan had on his neck. By the end of it all, the two were left panting for breath as they lay under Chan's bed sheets.

"How did you know how to do that?" Chan asked after a few moments of silence passed. He could only see Seungmin from the streetlight that shone through the cracks in his curtains and he had pushed himself into a seating position, leaning against the headboard as his fingers played with the cross around his neck.

"I learned when I was fifteen," Seungmin mumbled, not meeting Chan's eyes. He had a look on his face that showed he needed to talk, so Chan didn't interrupt him. "I learned it at a Christian summer camp which is an odd place to learn, I know," he scoffed, "there was this guy there and he was handsome, funny and everybody liked him. I didn't expect him to like me, but for some reason he did. He used to flirt with me when nobody was around and then, at night he'd invite me to his cabin and we would...well, do what we just did. He did a lot of things to me but I wanted to try the choking again."

"You sound like pretty advanced fifteen year olds," Chan chuckled.

"He was twenty-seven."

Chan's mouth fell open, at a loss for what to say. Perhaps Seungmin would have laughed at his expressions if the topic wasn't so scarring for him.

"I'm so sorry," Chan muttered, not sure what else he was supposed to.

"It's fine."

"That's not fine, Seungmin. Did you tell anyone? Did he get arrested?"

Seungmin scoffed and shook his head. "Of course I didn't tell anyone. My foster family are some of the most religious people you could ever meet and yeah, I'm religious myself but we don't hold all the same beliefs. If I told them they would have never looked at me the same way. They would have assumed I was gay, which I know I am but it shouldn't matter if I am or not. I could never tell them. If I did, I wouldn't be allowed to live with them and I wouldn't be allowed to look after Jeongin. He's all I have. I need him just as much as he needs me."

"You have me," Chan offered, sitting up beside Seungmin. "I don't really know how this happened, but when I met you it wasn't just sex I wanted. I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to be with you."

Seungmin fingers stopped playing with his cross. "Do you mean that?"

"Yeah, I do."

"So if I want that too...what does this make us?"

"What do you want it to make us?"

Seungmin thought for a moment, "I want you to be my boyfriend."

"I want that too," Chan smiled, moving closer and placing a hand on Seungmin's cheek. He pulled him into a soft kiss and they hadn't shared one like that since their first one. Seungmin had been longing for one since. He didn't feel guilty when he pulled away, he felt elated, excited and so many other things he couldn't begin to explain. After being used so many times, he finally had something to hold onto. Something he's always wanted. A relationship.

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"They're disgusting," Minho scoffed, staring out the kitchen window at Chan and Seungmin. They were sat at the bottom of the garden, on a wooden bench Minho assembled a couple of weeks ago. The garden was Minho's favourite place in their house and he was the one who looked after it. He planted all the flowers, cut the grass, fed the birds and picked the fruits once they were ripe. He had plans to pick the strawberries and send them back to his mother at home, knowing she missed him and was lonely in her house alone, but Chan and Seungmin were in the way, conversing and occasionally kissing on his bench.

"If they're so disgusting, why are you still staring at them?" Hyunjin asked, looking up from his laptop to briefly eye Minho by the window, arms crossed over his chest and shooting daggers at the couple who were unaware of his presence.

"Because they're in my garden," he said, pouting like a child as he threw himself into the chair beside Hyunjin. "I just want to pick my strawberries," he continued to whine, kicking his legs forward underneath the table. Hyunjin didn't seem to be paying him any attention as he typed away on his laptop. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find a job," Hyunjin explained, "I know I failed college so I'm checking my options before I am forced to become a hooker."

Minho snorted, "you're going to become a prostitute?"

Hyunjin was too absorbed by his laptop to respond to the question, desperate to find something so he did not have to become a prostitute like Minho said. "Tell me if you do. I might hire you," Minho said and started to stalk out of the room, off to find something to pass the time until Seungmin and Chan left his garden. Hyunjin's cheeks flushed bright red, staring at the space Minho had just got up from. He knew Minho was joking, but that didn't help the blush.

"You wouldn't need to pay me," he mumbled to himself before letting his head fall into his hands. "It was just a joke, stop being so stupid," he continued, fingers dancing over the key's of his laptop again. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but wonder if Minho would let him sell his body for money. He hoped he wouldn't. He hoped someone would stop him. He didn't want to end up like that.

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Ayo (I was going to call you all sluts and I'm so sorry, that is so mean-) anyway, I've written 27.5k words for my next book now and bROOOO it's angsty hjfhjfdhsj it's so fucking angsty.

Question of the chapter, uh...... I don't have anything. Tell me a cool fact about turtles. Does anyone know anything about turtles? I really like turtles. I'mma get two terrapins when I move out...I hope. Idk what to call them tho. Any turtle names? My dad said name them after ninja turtles....Idk why I'm on a tangent about turtles??????