Athazagoraphobia - AtsuKage/KageHina

self-destruction for the sake of others

(the song is there because it fits how I'm feeling right now, but also how Kags feels)

Ever since Kageyama met Atsumu at the training camp, he'd always held great admiration for him.

His admiration grew into more and he soon found himself in love with him.

Hinata Shouyou, his best friend, who he trusted, he introduced him to Atsumu.

But something between the two clicked, and when Atsumu told Hinata that he was going to set for him someday, Kageyama suddenly felt ill.

Hinata was going to replace him as his setter some day and that terrified him.

Athazagoraphobia. The fear of being replaced.

He heard that and started training harder, for fear of being replaced. What scared him more was that, if he wasn't good enough, he'd be replaced no matter what, and he started to fear his imperfections, hating them in every single way and trying to get rid of them, desperately.

Atelophobia. The fear of being imperfect.

His fears grew even worse when, after they graduated, Hinata left for Brazil and Kageyama hadn't known until he was talking to Atsumu who brought it up.

He suddenly felt as though Hinata didn't trust him, and he began to question his trust in anyone.

If his best friend hadn't told him he left, could he be trusted when he had to find out from a third party?

He was suddenly scared to trust others, worried that they might not trust him in return.

Pistanthrophobia. The fear of trusting others.

He slowly found himself spending more and more time with Atsumu. Though they were on different teams, the older setter always checked in on Tobio, and younger setter's long time crush on the older had stayed.

He felt that maybe, just maybe, Atsumu felt the same way for him.

He slowly got clingier, and whenever Atsumu left or when he wasn't with someone who he trusted, he grew anxious, nervous, and terrified.

Monophobia. The fear of being alone or lonely.

He was faced with all of his inner demons, his phobias eating away at him, when Hinata texted him saying he was coming back to Japan.

He had replied, asking if he wanted to meet up and catch up on what had happened over the last few years.

He was left on read.

Atsumu stopped coming to see him after he got the text and now, Kageyama was always anxious, but he managed to act calm, cool, and collected in front of the others.

Eventually, when Tobio went to play against the Black Jackals, he saw Hinata on that team.

Hinata hadn't responded to any of his texts or calls since he texted him about coming home, and now seeing him play against him with Atsumu, he felt like throwing up.

Was he even still Hinata's best friend? Did Atsumu ever love him as more than a friend?

And that was when he noticed the way they looked at each other.

It was the look he had been giving Atsumu for the last few years.

He managed to force himself through the game, and afterwards, went straight towards the bathroom.

Boy, did he regret that decision.

The moment he got to the bathroom, he opened it to find Hinata and Atsumu making out right in front of him.