Humanity- A Hunger Games fanfic

Part 6- Training 2

The next day Amanda lets us go down ourselves, and as a result, we're about 5 minutes late. When we get down, the rest of the careers immediately come up to us,

"Hey, Bruce, watch this!" Titus says. He throws his sword across the room into the heart of a mannequin, making about 5 other tributes jump. We all laugh and head to the weapons. I decide today I'll try throwing knives. I go over to the targets and start. The first throw completely misses and almost lands in someone's head.

"Need any help?" Mars walks up to me, laughing,

"Oh, please!" I say. He stands behind me, and turns me around,

"You need the right stance, you're standing square on, but you need to stand to the side," He tells me. He grabs a knife and throws it for demonstration. He hits it almost square in the chest, but not quite. It would still be deadly, though, "I'm not the best, but look," He gives me a knife and directs my hands to throw it. He gets me into position and tells me to throw it as accurately as I can. I do, and it hits the left side of the stomach despite aiming for the chest.

"Okay, now practise on your own," He tells me. I practice the whole morning and by the end I can just hit it around where I aim.

"Good job on throwing the knives," Evangeline says, "I mean, for a beginner, obviously,".

"I mean i've never done it before, so that adds up. I'm probably never going to use it but still," I say, "Hey, would you be good at throwing knives?" I ask her. She's very good at archery, so I expect it would help.

"I'm not sure, I'll try, though," She says. The rest of the day I work on throwing knives. It's upsetting to think we're all going to have to kill each other. I'm going to try not to but who knows what the arena will turn me into? I could become a cold blooded killer, I've been told by some people I have great potential if I wasn't so intent on not really participating in the games. I don't want my family to see me lose myself. I want my family to stay safe and I don't want them to go through this. I don't want to go through this. My dad specifically asked me not to lose myself, and I'll stick to that, even if it kills me

On the elevator back up, I get this random sinking, knotted feeling of dread in my stomach. It feels terrible, weighing me down. This stays for a half hour until it fades out towards the end of dinner, though it wasn't hunger. It was dread. My body telling me to turn back. Warning me this is whole thing a bad idea, but I can't listen. I can't turn back. I sleep in my Capitol bed in my Capitol room in the Capitol apartment, trapped. Just like I will be in the arena. It feels like I'm a million miles away from home. Away from comfort. Away from "back".

The next day I want to do hand to hand combat. There are some platformed areas with armoured peacekeepers, I think they're peacekeepers since the outfit looks the same, that we can fight using long sticks. I pick up a stick and go up to the highest platform, where the peacekeeper is, and prepare to start. The peacekeeper takes a swipe at me which I block and they get me in the thigh. They jab at my stomach and I jump out the way and grab on to the end. I take control and jab the peacekeeper in their stomach, taking the stick out their hands meaning I now have two. I whack them around the head and kick them in the back, making them fall onto another lower platform. I throw a stick back to them and they catch it and swipe at my feet. I jump, and, as I land, I hit their head. They drop the stick and put up their hands, signalling I won. I immediately jump down and help them up,

"Are you okay?" I ask. They nod and get up. I leave and I feel both good and guilty. I'm proud that I "won", but I may have just hurt them. Who am i? What will I turn into? I've been thinking about this far too much lately, I need to take my mind off it. I decide to make a net. I'm terrible at it, as I've always been, but in 4 it's a common pastime. If you're going through something, make a net. If you're bored, make a net. Everyone knows how. I'm not great, but it is relaxing. I sit down at the station and start.

The guy at the station looks at me and my wobbly start of a net skeptically,

"I know, I know, I've never been the best at it," I say,

"I can see!" He laughs, "Everyone from 4's usually the best at tying things, and you're still probably better than everyone else,".

"When I went on the boats with my father and brother they would never let me make the nets. I miss the boats. I remember when my father went on a week-long voyage. I was 11. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen but he came back, he was more rosy and happy than ever. The sea was nice. It's so big and beautiful and sparkling. I'll probably never see it again. But the best i can do is be optimistic, right? The issue is being optimistic isn't always an option when you're meant to be killing people you'd call your friends. Making friends wasn't possibly the brightest idea i've ever had, let's be honest. I don't want to kill anyone, but that's not what everyone else is like. Have you seen my allies? They've been training their whole lives just for this competition. I can't compete with that. Sorry, I've been talking too much. Is there anything you want to say?" I ask,

"No, no. It's nice. You may never, well, go home again, it's good to go over thoughts and memories. It's what i would do," He says, joining in with me. We make a net each for around 2 hours until lunch is announced. When we finish lunch, Mars calls after me,

"Hey 4, come climb with me," We go over to the frame and ropes. I scramble up a rope, jump to another platform and climb up to a higher one. Mars is watching me,

"So quiet!" He says,

"That's what my father used to say when i climbed up the boat net," I say,

"He was right," He says, "You could be lethal if you wanted to. Sit up in a tree and kill anyone who walks by,",

"Yeah, but i don't want to. I'm not becoming a murderer," I say,

"You should give up the pacifist act,"

"It's not an act,"

"Doesn't change the fact you should give it up,"

"Let's just, not, right now," I end the conversation. We spend the rest of the day going around all the survival stations., much to Mars's disliking, but I convince him that anything could happen.

At the end of the day us careers take the elevator together. It's just us, as the others are too intimidated. The boy from 6 starts to walk in with us, but Titus glares at him and he walks away.

~

We leave, Mars and Evangeline first, then Titus and Em, then Bruce and I. We get back to the apartment and I drop onto my bed and start crying. I have no idea why, it just happens. I was feeling perfectly content but now I'm an emotional mess and I don't know why. Lena, and, to my surprise, Annie, come in to comfort me. Annie sits on the edge of the bed and strokes my hair whilst Lena talks to me,

"What's wrong?" She asked,

"I don't know, it just happened," I say,

"It could be a build up of all the stress from the past week," She tells me,

"I get that sometimes," Annie adds,

"I mean, I guess so," I say, "I've not really been too stressed but, well, maybe I have?"

"Could be. What relaxes you?" Lena asks,

"Singing and making nets. I made a net today, but it was very wobbly. I've never been very good," I laugh lightly, remembering all the times Mother has been driven insane by my impossibly bad nets, and all the times Wenda laughed at me because of my basic incompetence,

"Nets. Nets always help. I might have some rope somewhere," Annie says,

"No, no, no it's fine. You probably need it more," I say,

"But yes, make nets. It's probably the oldest tradition of our people and there's a reason for that," Lena agrees. We sit on the bed and just make nets together until dinner is announced,

"What were you doing?" Beaufort asks,

"Nets," I say. We eat in silence and immediately afterwards, all of us but Amanda sit and just tie knots, making a big net. Amanda just sits there, watching us, smiling. By around 9 pm we have a huge net, but it gets late,

"Well, I need some sleep," Beaufort says, standing up. We all drape the now-heavy net over the couch and go into our rooms. I sleep very well for a change, luckily forgetting the assessment the next day.