Fickle thoughts

Sometimes Now

Sometimes...

I just want to throw it

Throw it all

Throw it all out

To throw it up

Sometimes, I feel the need to throw up

Throw up all the pent up emotions

Let go of the burning bile of dark thoughts 

I feel it rising up to the surface

Wanting out

Sometimes, I can feel the burn of anger

The ache of pain

The tightness of sadness

The itchiness of sorrow

The scream that can't get out

I want to cry

I need to scream

Or else I'll explode

A thousand pieces of me covering the walls

A thousand pieces of my heart scattered all around 

I suffer

I suffer emotional boulimia

I eat everything that feels good

I devoure joy, love and laughter

More than a single soul could bare to contain

Too much...

Then it gets too much

I need out

I need it all out

Now

I cut, open, bleed, vomit, tear apart

I rip, burn, punch, bite and scratch

Just to let it out

Just to let it go

Just to stop feeling

It may not be the healthiest way to live

But it's the only one I know

And it's still better than the alternative

To just stop feeling

For good

I'd rather love too much

Live too much

Laugh too much

Suffer and hurt too much

Than be too little...