Ocean and Alcohol ✘JJ Maybank✘

Mother Nature

When you finally got home, your dad was sitting on the bottom of the stairs, just like Kid had been the night before.

"Hey, Dad," you said, setting your keys in the bowl by the door.

"Hey, sweetheart." From the tone in his voice, you knew a teary-eyed apology was on its way. You groaned inwardly as you shut your eyes. "I...I wanted to apologize for last night."

"It's not a big deal, Dad," you said, opening your eyes and putting on a smile.

"But it is." He pushed himself off the stairs and took a few hurried steps forward. He stopped when he saw you flinch and step backward. Tears brimmed his eyes and he covered his mouth with his hands. "I hurt my baby girl and my boy and I...."

He broke down into tears, falling to one knee as he sobbed. You grit your teeth, trying to blink away a few tears of your own. He did this almost every time. He either pretended like it never happened or he cried, there was never another option. You preferred the first because you never felt obligated to comfort him, like you did now.

"Dad." You walked over to him and dropped down next to him. You wrapped your arms around him and he leaned into you, clinging to your arm. Every piece of your heart shattered as you heard him cry. His tears soaked through your pajama shirt. You hid a sob of your own by planting a kiss onto his head. Keeping your breathing steady, you slowly peeled him off of you, putting your hands over his teary cheeks.

"There is one way you can make it up to me," you said, plastering on a smile.

"Anything," he choked out. "Anything."

"Sarah is having a get together tonight and she wants me to come."

"You...go out?"

You heard the concern in his voice so you pushed harder.

"You know how much I like Sarah, and I know you want me to make better friends. This is me trying." When it was clear he was still mulling it over in your mind, you pulled the last stop you knew would guarantee a yes. "And...Rafe will be there tonight."

"Rafe?" The tears were immediately gone from his eyes. You nodded, though your stomach sickened. "I thought you hated him."

"He's not as bad as I thought." A lie. He was worse.

"Well, if someone responsible like Rafe is there...." You resisted the urge to laugh. "As long as it isn't a party, you can go."

A grin spread across your lips. You leaned down and kissed your dad on the cheek, just one more foot in his goodwill door.

"Thank you, Daddy."

You helped him to his feet and brushed away a few of his stray tears.

"I love you, sweetheart."

"Love you."

As soon as you were upstairs, you vomited the words out of your mouth.
While you were glad that you had been given permission to go to the party, you hated how low you had to go to get there. Making your dad bend to your will was generally easy and very rarely did you actually feel bad about it. After all, his favorite past time was beating you senseless, so why couldn't you manipulate him to get the things you wanted? It seemed like a pretty fair game.

You brushed your teeth twice before heading back to your room to start homework. As soon as you opened your computer, you knew that you were going to get very little done. Your mind went, as it usually did these days, straight to JJ. You weren't sure how to feel. You fought the last time you spoke to him, but you also spent the entire night thinking about seeing him at this party. And then you saw him kiss another girl and then spent the entire day wanting to murder him. And now you were just double confused because he seemed ready enough to introduce you to one of his best friends. Your mind was all over the place and none of those places was homework.