I'll Hold You || Asanoya || Bullied nishinoya x asahi

Hiding (TW)

TW: self harm

Nishinoya

I hate life, and to be honest I think I always will. Not because I want to or just because I hate life. No, it's no where near that. It's because of people. Bullies, to be exact. Why do people have  to be so cruel. Why can't we all be nice and kind to one another. 

Some just like to see others suffer. So as for now i'll have to hide it. Each time I get a bruise and he notices I just make up a lie, and he seems to believe them. I'm glad he can't see how I feel I guess. I don't want him wasting his time on someone like me. Someone so pathetic and weak. But truly? am I weak? or is it just giving up, or the lack of energy in my body. Maybe it's because I don't care. 

I hate myself. My body. Everything. Why was I even born, why do people want to be my friend. Each day became dark and darker as soon I couldn't control myself in a way. So every time, i'd end up hurting myself. A knife would apply to my soft silky skin as soon it glazed across it. It would soon be jabbed in deeper to the skin to cause more blood, more pain if possible at this point. Cuts were all up my arm, but no one could see. 

I'd wear sweatshirts to hide them, and put makeup on them. I admit, the makeup burns as the deep cuts were not cleaned causing them to get infected. But why does that matter? It doesn't, and it never will.

I was walking down the hallway, a mess. Everyday my hair was down as I didn't bother to put it up. My eyes were dark and gloomy as dark black creases were very much visible under my paralyzed dark eyes. Whenever walking by someone i'd here a gasps almost, it kinda annoyed me in a way. 

Asahi was always worried about me and my health but I told him I was fine, and he believed me once again. But maybe he didn't and he was just to scared to say something. Welp, it's not like it matters anyway. 

Everyday was the same thing. No sleep, get out of bed. Get ready, don't eat, got to school, leave, get beaten and go home and repeat. My parents never were home so they never really knew about what happened to me. How I was broken, sad,depressed and would cut myself whenever I got the chance. Sadly though this cutting thing has soon became a addiction to the pint where I start scratching and clawing at my skin till it bleeds. 

All I can do to hide it though is smile. As people are blinding by what's underneath. I made it to my locker where I quickly grabbed my stuff not bothering about the people around me. Most were gone as they went to class early and soon the hallway was empty. 

I heard footsteps come towards me. I turned my head to see asahi walking towards me. He seemed a bit different. Not look wise but aura wise. He seemed,angry? He walked over me and looked down at me. His face showed anger but then softened a bit as it almost looked like he was about to cry. "Why do you hurt yourself noya..." he said. But it didn't even sound like a question but instead a statement. 

I looked down as I tried not to make eye contact with him, but doing this made asahi growl loudly. I quickly lifted my head up a little in fear. He was looking down at me still, he still had a angry face on but his eyes were soft and gentle. As if he didn't know what to feel or how to express it. 

I still hadn't answered him. I didn't want to. I didn't really have a answer either. I opened my mouth looking at him thinking of words to say before slowly closing it. Thinking for a second. "I-I don't know". Lie, I knew. At least now I did after thinking about it. I did it cause I hated myself, because I didn't want to live yet kept going. So to sooth me i'd hurt myself. 

His face softened again as he soon grabbed my waist and pulled me into a gentle hug. I slowly wrapped my arms around his big body as my head rested on his chest. I tired not to cry but I was hard. So with that we both ended up in tears hugging each other. 

After this me and asahi left school. It wasn't like us but we truly just wanted to talk I guess. I was okay with this because I knew i'd get a break from the bullies after school. We were walking to asahi's house. It was quiet as birds chirped melodies and sang to one another. Cars rolled by as some stopped, grownups going into coffee shops or stores. 

We made it there fairly quickly as asahi slowly opened the door greeting me inside. I slowly walked in and set myself on the couch. Throughout this whole time we didn't really talk as all we were doing was cuddling and watching a movie. It was a calming day. A time where we can both get a break. As it was a time i'd be happy to.

Eventually the movie we were watching sadly ended and asahi finally spoke "Can I go to your house tomorrow?" he asked curiously. I nodded immediately as I was excited for tomorrow, to have asahi over. Just me and him hanging out. By ourselves. Doing whatever we truly want. 

But theres one thing I forgot about. One thing that would change everything...

.

.

.

.

the bullies 

A/N:

Hey guys sorry this is short i'm just not really sure how I was gonna end it. So the ending is kinda bad. But anyways I hope you liked it as part 2 may be coming soon, maybe. But also you guys can comment ideas you may have so I can maybe use them either for the next chapter or one later on as I like to plan my stories before I write them. But sadly this one came right out of my head so like said, not the best.

thank you for reading this <3