𝖪𝖾𝖾𝗉 𝖬𝖾 𝖠𝗐𝖺𝗄𝖾 | 𝖢𝗁𝗈𝗂 𝖡𝖾𝗈𝗆𝗀𝗒𝗎 [Unedited]

11 : 𝖦𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖨𝗍 𝖠 𝖳𝗋𝗒

「⛈️」

「Y/N's POV」

It was one rainy night when I huddled onto my bed, contemplating about my life. I just kicked Beomgyu out just like that. And I couldn't believe that he'd react fairly far from my expectations, considering that I already admitted what happened. I thought of him leaving me for good. Or seeth at me in disgust.

What was I thinking? Of course.. My guts were right. He indeed needed me in his life. But I was too stupid and cowardly to take a step closer. How am I supposed to do so when I myself struggled too?

Ding dong.

I got up to answer the door. As soon as I opened, Beomgyu appeared in front of me looking grim.

"Hi.."

I immediately attempted to close but he held out a hand to stop it from slamming shut. He squeezed himself inside the apartment without my permission. He locked the door behind him and towered in front of me.

"Get out!"

"No."

"Seriously, can't you just leave me for good?!"

"I told you, I can't."

Beomgyu tried to hold me but I scooted away. I didn't want to feel his skin touch mine. It only reminded me of how disgusted I was with myself.

"Please, there's nothing for us to talk about. Leave."

"I'm not going anywhere until you let me speak."

I gave him a stern look. Beomgyu held his stance and stared back. Crossing my arms, I let out an exasperated sigh. I waved a hand, gesturing him to start. Beomgyu nervously bit his lip.

"I can't take this any longer, Y/N. I miss you. So much. I don't know if you feel the same but I want to let you know that I'll be more than willing to wait to have you back."

I remained silent.

"I know there's still so much for us to learn about each other. But you're.. How do I put this..?" He scratched his head. "You're special to me. In many ways. Even though we're highly different. That's why I need you. You ease me like nobody else."

"That's it?"

Beomgyu fell silent. I honestly didn't know what to say. He's grown special to me as well but I just couldn't bring to trust myself with him again. I was afraid that I might let another mistake loose if I did. I was afraid that I might end up lacking towards him. Don't get me wrong. I never hated him. I even wanted to stay up for him. But this just doesn't feel right.

"You may now go."

"I like you." He blurted out.

"Pardon?"

"I.." He looked away. "I like you. It's too sudden, yes, but I really do."

"Beomgyu, you and Hana-"

"Why are you still sucking up for something that has been wasted already?" He eyed me. "Screw Hana, I want you this time."

"You can't.. We can't.."

"Why not? I understand that you might only see me as a friend but let me-"

"No, Gyu."

His shoulders dropped. His face showcased hurt.

"Are you still thinking about the mistake?"

I shook my head.

"Then what, Y/N?"

My eyes began to swell with tears. "I'm sick, Beomgyu. I'm sick."

"What..?"

"I was diagnosed with Klein-Levin syndrome months ago. I sleep most of the time."

Beomgyu failed to respond. I turned my back guilty and wiped the threatening tears away.

"We can't happen. We'll never work. I'm always alseep. You're always restless. It's not worth the risk."

"Do you like me?"

I didn't face him. My heart sank as I tried to push the idea to the back of my mind. I can't like him. We weren't just made for each other.

"Tell me, Y/N."

"I don't know.. I'm not sure.."

Beomgyu held my arm and made me face him. I lowered my head to conceal my tear-stained cheeks but he held up my chin and wiped them dry with his thumbs.

"Don't cry."

"I wanted to take care of you as much as I could, Gyu.. Believe me.. But it's hard.. The timing's just fucked up, we're both a mess and bad things happened.."

"Hey, look at me."

"I can't afford to let you down again.."

"Y/N, look at me."

I did as told. Beomgyu suddenly cupped my face and leaned in for a kiss. Like before, it took me a while before I could react. Beomgyu held me tight and close, ensuring that I wouldn't squirm away. I didn't. Instead, I placed my hands onto his chest and kissed back, closing my eyes to feel the unlawful bliss. He pulled away right after, gasping for air.

"Give it a try."

"Beomgyu, I'm scared.."

"There's no need to." He caressed my cheek. "I'll walk with you and you'll walk with me. We can do this together, Y/N."

"I don't think so.."

He smiled. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then believe me when I say that we can."

"It's too risky.."

"You're worth the risk. We're worth the risk."

I bit my tongue as I looked up at him. Beomgyu's eyes were screaming hope. Well, I guess I should just go for it and see what we can do. After all, it turns out that we actually needed each other. Now that I've got nothing to hide, why should I recoil?

"We'll save each other.. Right?"

He nodded. "Yes. Yes, Y/N."

I forced a smile. "Can you promise me one thing, Gyu?"

"What is it?"

"Please keep me awake."