Ventura

Capítulo 16

"I can resist everything except temptation." Oscar Wilde

1 ... 2 ... 3 ... inhale. 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... breathe.

And there he is, the stage! Waiting for me. I could hear my heart pounding. And suddenly panic invades my thoughts, but now there is no turning back, we have to face it!

I got on my cue, spoke the three sentences and left the scene. And suddenly it was over.

Do you know that moment when you first ride a roller coaster? Fear and adrenaline? That desire for everything to be over soon? But when it's over you want to go through the experience again. Is this the paradox of every artist?

As soon as I left the stage Barbara came to greet me.

- You did very well. How about we celebrate later.?

- Yes. In your apartment?

In the days that followed before the premiere of the play, we not only rehearsed but also had sex. Too much sex. An immense amount. All the time. And several times in a single day. She had peculiar tastes. And I gladly accepted everything. Right on our first fuck, when I tried to penetrate her from the front, I was stopped and received a warning.

- No, my boy. Not there. - and gave me a seductive smile.

He stood on all fours and offered me a privileged view of his rounded buttocks. As I penetrated her she whispered obscenities.

- Thomas ... Oh! You're tearing me apart.

- Do you want me to slow down? - I stopped breathless.

-No, you miserable. Do not stop. Get strong in me.

She was good fun, and also a great source of contacts. I knew a lot of people in the artistic world and got me another role in another play. We were a good pair.

One day after another sex session, I got up to turn on the air conditioner. I felt my body dripping as if I had just worked out at the gym.

- Have you thought about making movies?

I looked at her uncertainly.

- Movie theater? No, I never really thought about it.

She got up from the bed completely naked and came over to me, ran her hands flat over my chest.

- You are a fine specimen, if you know what I mean. And I think I could get you a job or two and see how it goes. Think about it. And if you're interested I can introduce you to a few people.

Two weeks later we were at the production company. And as it was like Barbara, she only informed me about the content of the film when we were already there.

- Not even. - I replied emphatically.

- Now stop being a moralist, it's just a fucking porn movie. And I guarantee it is nothing like you are imagining. Besides, they pay very well.

I confess that it was not difficult to convince me when I knew the amount they would pay me.

It was quite an experience. Of course, you have sex with women. But it is very technical. They often don't even film your penis. They use a double. And you stay there, making faces and mouths, pretending to feel pleasure and reaching orgasm. I was fascinated by the number of cameras and lights used. And of course, there was a certain interpretation of some nonsense that we had to talk about. I just thought of the guy who wrote that "script".

A film with a certain quality took around forty days to be recorded. Then I went to editing and sound design.

I ended up making a certain friendship with the director, not without first making it very clear that I didn't like men. He was a little disappointed at first, but ended up accepting the fact that there would be nothing but friendship between us. He confided to me that working with a porn director was only to supplement his income. His main job was as a cameraman.

- Oh yes. - he said - It's real art. And a lot of money involved.

-"And how do I get a role in some of these films?" I asked innocently.

He laughed so hard that he was forced to sit down.

- Boy, don't even try. This is a jungle, and they achieve little.

I think my expression of dismay must have touched him.

- It's ok. Do not say that I did not warned you. I'm working on a production here in London and they always hire extras. Can be?

I smiled and nodded in agreement.

- God help you. You don't know what is extra. Get ready to stay all day waiting for the time to shoot. And remember: extra DOES NOT ACT. He doesn't look at the camera, he doesn't speak to the director and he doesn't eat. Do we have a deal?

And there I was, wearing tons of armor and under a scorching sun. My mission of the day: Run holding a sword and then fall like a sack of potatoes on the red earth. But it was worth it. I managed to keep my name on the list of fixed extras.

By that time he had already left college. My parents did not approve of my choice and made it very clear that they were unable to support me while I established myself - if that ever happened - as an actor.

Through Barbara I got a small role in another production. And so two years went by. My career was limited to small roles, but I thought it was time to find an agent.

And one more learning. Most agents want to fuck you, literally. The secret is to let them look for you, but for that to happen, you must be famous. So I was stagnant and didn't see how to make my career take off. But at no time did I think of giving up.

Barbara introduced me to a producer, who was making an independent film. I got the role of supporting actor - which was already a big step. But also a big mess. Independent productions have little money and the fee is barely enough to cover their own expenses.

Filming would be in the state of Nevada, more specifically in Las Vegas. I was happy to be able to leave London. Barbara was becoming inconvenient and wanted something more than casual sex.

Participating in a real movie is very different from acting on a school stage.

It requires discipline and a lot of dedication. It is hours repeating the same scene until the director is satisfied.

I had to work on my London accent and take singing lessons. But it was all worth it. He loved every moment on camera.

The film was finally finished and had a modest release. But in one of those lucky strokes the film fell into popular taste and was nominated for an Oscar in two categories. Original screenplay and best photography.

I could hardly believe I was stepping on that red carpet along with some big names from the cinema.

I rented a costume and went to the theater. I was a nervous wreck, but I managed to smile and wave.

The film won the award for best original screenplay, which took directors and their actors to the next level.

A series of interviews was scheduled, the first of which would be in Las Vegas where the film was produced.

Barbara made a point of accompanying me and I was unable to dissuade her from this attempt.

Right after the interview round we went out to celebrate. We all went to a casino and I just remember drinking a lot. Happiness was stamped on my face. The mix of alcohol and cocaine got me completely stoned. I thought I was the owner of the world. A little staggering, I turned to Barbara.

- Today I can commit any madness.