The Great Pelican Boy

Chapter 7

My mind was still trying to process what was going on, so I decided to go to the bow to eat alone. I let my mind wander into the depths of my imagination. I try to decipher what evolutionary purpose our imagination serves. Perhaps it manifested so that we were more alert when hunting at night. That momentary panic we get when we turn off the hall light in our house and scurry to our room might be evidence to support this hypothesis. Maybe our ancestors needed that fear so that they would remain alert at night when they heard creaking in the trees behind them. It is also possible that the imagination is nothing more than a fluke in the evolutionary development of our species and we are now left with a part of our brain that has the ability to distract us for as long as it wants. Too often I discover that my consciousness has been absent for the whole day and that my imagination was the thing in control. Why does the battle for presentness in our mind always feel like a losing game? No matter how hard you try to regain your focus, it fades just moments later. Sometimes it feels like our unconscious mind was meant to maintain control and our conscious mind should only be used when needed. We like to think we should be 'present', meaning our conscious self is in control, but what if our conscious self is the only part of the brain that believes that? It's possible that there is a great debate between our conscious and unconscious mind that is taking place in the small space between our ears that is inaccessible to us. They both feel entitled to control over the other.

I lose my train of thought when I see an island approaching from the horizon. I wonder how many islands there are in the world that remain uninhabited. When I was younger, I would tell my Mom that one day I would be rich enough to buy an island. Now I realize that this was just a boyhood fantasy. I imagine how quickly the appeal of living on a private island fades. The disappointment from people who expect to find happiness by sitting on an island and drinking margaritas all day must be immeasurable. The older I have gotten, the more I have come see that we need something more fulfilling in order to find happiness. I feel sorry for the poor souls who achieve this fantasy only to have it come crashing down when their expectations are not met.

"What island is that Theo?" I ask him from the bow.

"I'm not sure of the name my boy. I can recall going there a long time ago, tiny little thing." He said with his mouth full of salmon.

I thought about asking to stop at the island so that I could stretch my legs, but decided to stay on the boat and finish my conversation with Theo. He was still eating his lunch and I felt like resting my eyes for a few minutes. I have come to enjoy taking short naps on the bow of the boat. There are few things that live up to your expectations every time, but this is one of them. Quickly after laying down, I find myself in another peculiar dream. In it, I am trapped in a coffin floating down a river. Although I'm still alive, I can't find a way to free myself from the box. I look through a small crack in the top and can see the sun. As I am struggling to free myself, I keep getting thrown around in the coffin. Surprisingly, no water is seeping in through the cracks. I hear birds flying overhead and look up to see two hawks circling me. They land on top of the coffin and I soon hear them pecking at the wood. Somehow, I can tell that they are trying to help me by breaking through the top of the coffin.

"Red!" Theo shouts.

I wake up and quickly forget about my dream. I look back and see that Theo had thrown out the anchor right off of the shore of the island that I had seen before falling asleep.

"I felt like it might be best if we stretch our legs a bit before we keep talking." He said as he dove off the boat towards the island.

I had never been the best swimmer and seeing as I had just woken up, I knew that this swim would be no exception. The moment I hit the water I could feel a wave of adrenaline rush over me. It was the first time I had been in the water since we set sail and I had failed to estimate how cold the water was. I looked ahead to see Theo already standing on the shore, waving at me. Not until I reached the island did my body adjust to the temperature of the water. After a few minutes in the warm sun, I was finally able to regain my composure.