it x heathers AU

greetings and salutations

i walked to a few tables and asked them the question. most people said something along the lines of "why would i get married to a random person, that's stupid"

as i walked around looking for my next victim, i saw a guy in the corner staring at me.

"holy-" i said just above a whisper

this guy was the most beautiful person i've ever seen. he had curly black hair that ended just below his ear,  huge black glasses, and light freckles. he was wearing a pink button up that had a white hawaiian design. he had paired it with high rise black jeans and black converse. i was at a loss for words as i approached his table.
"h-hi" i stuttered
"greetings and salutations cutie. you're soundin' a bit like bill denbrough though." he laughed
"i'm eddie"
"i know eds, ur practically famous in derry."
"that's not my name. but what's your name?"
"richie. richie tozier."
"alright richie tozier, i have a question."
"go for it eds"
"um. okay so we live in a world where you're assigned a significant other. they aren't your soulmate though, and you know who your soulmate is."
"uhm okay" richie said
"you either: a. keep your assigned partner and live an okay life. or b. you and your soulmate can pay $500,000 dollars for you guys to be partners. but you're not allowed to be seen in public with your soulmate no matter which option you choose."

"um well, if my soulmate isn't you eds, then i'm fine with the assigned partner. but i'd pay $500,000 dollars for you any day." he said with a wink.

i felt heat rise to my cheeks as i started to blush. "i'll see you around richie" i said with a smile as i walked away.

i walked back over to my group.

"w-w-was he f-f-flirting with y-you?" bill asked

"like you'd care" i said nonchalantly

"m-m-meh your r-right. i d-d-don't." he said as he took stans hand as they walked to class.

"he's a weirdo eddie. i wouldnt talk to him if i were you. you're too good for him."

just as we walked out something hit the floor. i looked over and it was henry's body.
"holy jesus" i said.

patrick walked up to richie and punched him right in the face. everyone gasped. richie punched patrick in return and patrick collapsed. the lunch aid grabbed richie by the arm and led him out of the cafeteria.

"woo richie!" i said as bev dragged me out.

"EDDIE"

"bev"

"richie is a weirdo you're not allowed to talk to him."

"bev you're great and all, but can you please stop acting like my mom."

"eddie honey, i could care less about you and your feelings. but if im seen with someone who hangs out with richie tozier, i'll be the laughing stock of the whole school. so can you PLEASE save both of us  the time and energy. and stop talking to him.

PRESENT TIME
"UGH" i yelled as i through my diary. "i hate bev, i hate stan, i hate bill. i hate the whole school." i stopped, "well except for richie, and ben too, and mike."

it's like 3 am so this writings bad