Levirate [Haniaal/Zarry]

Chapter 25

Taking Zayn to the prenatal visit was a horrible idea. Harry had known beforehand hence he never brought him along but Dr Corden had started pestering him with plans and preparations and now he was left to deal with the monster that the doctor created. Zayn came home with books today. Lots and lots of books on pregnancy and parenthood. One prenatal visit and he has suddenly become the 'knowledgeable one'. He has snide comments that he makes about the food he eats or his movements. Harry has decided to let it slide because maybe the excitement will wear off in a week.

It did not.

Two weeks later Harry came home to find a hype of activity in the house. There is a cleaning company and a furniture shop truck on the driveway.

"Zayn" he shouts loudly and he can see him pop up from the corner looking like a kid caught stealing candy from the jar. "What's all this" he tries to scowl and his hands are already on his waist to show Zayn that he means business. "Oh Harry. Hi... uh how are you doing? Did you enjoy lunch with Jeff?" he says rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I will not ask again Zayn. What is all this?"

"Don't get mad please... You see I have seen how you are walking plus you tend to trip a lot so I had thought that maybe you might want to move to the guest room downstairs. I just thought I should maybe prepare the room in advance you know? In case you might need to use it" he stopped, nervously tugging on his hair with an awkward smile that Harry estimated will fall off in five seconds max.

He takes a deep breath through the nose and out through the mouth and counts to 10 silently before he responds "And how exactly am I walking Zayn?".

"Oh...I think I hear the painters calling me, can we talk later?" Zayn rushes away from Harry and into the bedroom downstairs. Harry huffs and makes his way upstairs to rest, the climb up the stairs feeling like he is hiking up a hill. 

***

Walking up the stairs is becoming hard for Harry now that he is in his 30th week of pregnancy. He has not occupied the downstairs room as yet and is trying to fight the urge to as much as he can. Harry had walked in once when Zayn was at work and he found that it was painted in the same colour as his bedroom upstairs which was really thoughtful of Zayn. After dinner one night, Harry says good night to Zayn and waddles away to his room leaving Zayn on the couch, wrapped up in the blanket they keep for cool nights.

Zayn hears muffled cries from the hallway and rushes up, finding Harry sitting on the stairs crying.

"Hey hey. What's wrong Harry? Is it the babies?"

Harry tucks his head in to his folded arms and hides his face. "I cannot walk up the stairs. I am tired and it hurts"

"Hey. No don't cry. Come on, I will help you up. NO big deal here. See?" Zayn reaches for Harry and he stands up but chooses to instead go back to the living room already seeming out of breath from his first attempt. Zayn places him on the couch and fetches bottled water for him. They quietly watch a movie with the occasional sniffles from Harry.

"I miss him so much you know" Harry's voice is so low that Zayn would have missed it if he was paying attention to the TV . "I know it's been 6 months already but it still feels raw. And I do want to move downstairs. I get the logic but it feels like I'm abandoning him. Like I am leaving all that we had" Zayn does not turn to look at him in fear of embarrassing him. He knows how prideful Harry is and can imagine how much it hurts for him to be this vulnerable

Harry sniffles quietly and Zayn's arms stretches involuntarily to pull Harry towards himself for support. Harry lays his head on his lap and curls up on the couch. Zayn nervously places his hand on top of Harry's head and when the younger lad does not protest, he runs his hands through Harry's hair in a manner that he had seen Gemma do the first time he met Harry. Ater a short silence, Harry continues. "Everything is building up so fast and I am not ready at all for all this. I am tired honestly. I am tired of fighting you and your family. I am tired of fighting with my sister. I miss her so much. We had a fight in Amsterdam and I have been ignoring her since then.  She said me and Daniaal were toxic and I resented that a lot but after the therapy sessions I had at the hospital, I can see it too especially now that there are so many decisions to make and I have to make them. I have not decided on anything in such a long time and I am not sure if I am making the right ones. I am all alone. I am so mad at Daniaal, he spoilt me way too much and I ended up developing co-dependency to him which was very unhealthy but it was blissful at the same time. I was blind. So so blind" he chuckles more to himself than anything

"I want to be independent. I want to learn and that's why I keep fighting you. Because I need to depend on myself. My babies need a strong parent. Oh Lord, how am I gonna do this?" his breathing hitches at that and Zayn makes a move to stand but Harry hangs on making it difficult for him to move. "I resent the fact that you have been paying bills behind my back". Zayn is taken aback by the statement because he had thought that Harry did not know but he chooses to just listen and not interrupt. "I went to Fahima the other day to pay her for the utilities when my banker informed me that everything is up to date. I had assumed that she had a debit order set up for such things but she told me that she gave you everything. It annoyed me for the longest time the fact that I did not even think about all those things that you managed to handle within such a short space of time and I have been living here forever . I'm such a mess, aren't I? he says chuckling at the end

"No you aren't Harry. You are a strong person, albeit stubborn as an ox but strong nonetheless" answers Zayn. The younger lad does not seem to register the words and simply cries his heart out and Zayn just lets him despite his pants getting soaked up and making him feel cold. He mutters words of encouragement quietly and when Harry does not continue anymore, they sit in silence. The magnitude of the situation finally settling in on Zayn. Harry opened up to him and there is a lot that he is dealing with that Zayn could not have fathomed. Zayn can tell from the way that Harry breathes that he has calmed down considerably but Harry makes no move to stand up so Zayn just continues massaging his scalp. Harry ends up falling asleep on him and owing to how exhausted he feels and how comfortable Harry looks, Zayn decides not to move them from the couch. He would not be able to carry him up the stairs in any case so he pulls the blanket he had on the couch over them and he lays his head on the back of the couch and stares at the ceiling, knowing already that he will wake up with a terrible neck strain. It will be worth it though if he can help reduce Harry's heavy load