Never Alone (Jotakak)

Jotakak Week (2/7)

1. Family   (Warning for mild Homophobic language)

Silence fell around us, settling through the room like a heavy blanket. For us, this kind of thing was normal. The silence, a comfortable sort of quiet that came with two people busy in their work. This silence, however, was not comfortable. It was full of a tension, a sort of weight in the air. 

I paused the game, glancing up to watch him. He was too lost in thought to notice my attention, distracted until I moved. His gaze jumped to mine as I leaned down, resting my head in his lap with my face tipped to hold his gaze.

"What's on your mind?" I offered. A soft breath escaped him, and he set his book aside. His hand came to rest on the side of my head, fingers curling lightly into my hair. 

"My father's coming in tomorrow."

I stiffened, sitting upright and whipping around to face him. A strangled gasp escaped me as my it wrenched my back, though the jolt of pain quickly faded as I rested a hand on his knee to support myself. 

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I asked, shocked. His expression shuttered a little bit, and I realized I'd misstepped. I paused, searching for a way to backtrack before he said,

"Our relationship is strained."

I hesitated, searching his gaze. The sharp angles of his jaw were illuminated by the light flickering from my game, his eyes a dark gray in the dim light. 

I moved, loosely straddling his knees.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offered gently. He let out a breath, tugging the  brim of his cap down. I waited patiently, hands braced on his knees. Another breath, and then,

"He's homophobic. Traveling as a musician gives him a lot of experience for that."

I sat back with a soft,

"Oh."

His jaw flickered, and he glanced away.

"So you don't want me to come, then?"

His gaze snapped back to mine, and his answer seemed to escape him without him noticing.

"No."

A smile flickered over my mouth.

"He's been gone for so long- he's lost all respect to me. I only put up with him because my mother still loves him. I don't know why, though."

I hummed lightly in thought, twirling the bang around my fingers. 

"And someone needs to be there to make sure I don't kill him."

A soft laugh escaped me, and I leaned back now that I knew he was okay, sitting on his shins. 

"We're having dinner on Saturday. My mom already said it was okay for you to come."

He still didn't meet my gaze, muscle feathering in his jaw as he struggled with something.

"I'm perfectly okay with keeping this secret from him," I said. Slowly, his gaze slid to mine. I gave him a sad, reassuring smile. "I don't want to be the reason your family falls apart."

"I almost want to throw this in his face and watch what happens," he said softly, though his voice was hard as steel. 

I let out another soft humm. Then, "how does Mrs. Holly feel about this?"

A beat of silence. So he hasn't talked to her yet. I sighed to myself.

"Ask her, then. I'm sure she has an opinion." I paused, gently taking his hand in mine, letting my fingertips graze over the rough callouses on his knuckles. "Just let me know beforehand."